


These bruises make for better coversation

by AmberEyedLover



Series: Dark Bingo Card [2]
Category: Adam Lambert - Fandom, Tommy Ratliff - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Bruises, Cheating, F/M, Lies, M/M, Memories/Flashbacks, Reunions, Scars, Secrets, Self Harm, Trust, Violence, home sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 66,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberEyedLover/pseuds/AmberEyedLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelve years, 2 weeks and 5 days ago was the last time they were all together fully. But how much really changes in that amount of time? Do people you once knew still act the same as back then or are they different now, are past secrets still secrets or have they been spilled? But what happens when something happens to another and it changes their lives completely…would anyone really want to get involved…do they still remember the real you…Would they risk everything they built up to protect you from harm’s way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. *Twelve years, 2 weeks and 5 days ago* – San Francisco

**Author's Note:**

> Promt for #Emotional Abuse & #Sexual Abuse

‘’This is it guy’s, the end of the road as we know it so far’’ I nodded in agreement,   
‘’off to college and the big wide world’’ Another nod as I pushed my hands in to my pockets,   
‘’Maybe the last time we are all together.’’ A lit chew on my lower lip as I looked down at the ground thinking,   
‘’But we will all stay in touch…right?’’   
‘’Adam…’’ I raised my eyes and looked across as Brad spoke and I nodded slightly,   
‘’Of course, I wouldn’t loose contact with any of you guys, you are all like family’’ I told them as they smiled.   
‘’I have to go…mom wants help with some stuff’’ Cassidy’s voice spoke out before he went around and hugged us all tightly, reaching me last before I hugged him back.   
‘’I should get going too… I mean I have to pack for this holiday my folks wants to take us on’’ Another person said, another round of hugs and goodbyes, slowly each person left until it was just the three of us stood there looking out over city of San Francisco, the sky around us starting to slowly grow darker as time went slipping past us, the memories of our 16 year old selves going through our minds as we stood in silence with each other.

‘’Everything is going to change isn’t it’’ Sutan asked quietly and I turned to look at him, Brad doing the same on his other side as we nodded,   
‘’We aren’t going to hear from them are we’’ Brad asked next and I sighed lightly,   
‘’Probably not’’ I whispered out before I turned and looked at the other two, ‘’I’ve lied about something’’ I told them softly and I watched as they looked at me with worried eyes.   
‘’What do you mean’’ Sutan asked and I took a deep breath,  
‘’Im not staying here for college’’ I told them and they frowned slightly, ‘’Im going to New York’’  
‘’I thought you applied for college here…I saw the forms that day’’ Brad spoke out and I shook my head as I crossed my arms over my chest slightly,  
‘’You saw forms yeah, but they were for New York, that’s why I never showed anyone them, just said what I was going to do’’ I told him before I glanced down at the floor before up again, ‘’I don’t want to be stuck here for the rest of my life, I want to get out and by going to New York is going to do that for me that’s why im telling you both now because you are my best friends and I can trust you’’ I whispered out before they both stepped forward and wrapped me up in a hug.  
‘’Im glad you told us Addy’’ Brad whispered as he pulled away, tears in his eyes as I laughed softly and wiped at my own eyes.   
‘’Have I’ve told you guys how much I hate change’’ Sutan spoke out, causing us to laugh again as I smiled over at them and then turned back to look out over the city again.   
‘’But things will be alright guys’’ I told them as I turned and looked at them with a smile, ‘’everything will be just okay.’’

‘’I need to go, I promised Tommy that I would go see him tonight’’ Sutan spoke out and I looked over at him and he stared at me. ‘’Have you told him that you like him Adam?’’ I shook my head slightly.   
‘’There’s no point’’ I told them with a shrug as I moved and walked towards the bench where our things were and picked my bag up.   
‘’Yes there is! Addy come on we have two months before we leave for college…Adam’’ Brad started to say before trailing off as I bit my lip and slowly looked up at them,   
‘’What else aren’t you telling us?’’ Sutan asked and I glanced towards him before I shifted my bag on my back.   
‘’I don’t have two months’’ I told them quietly and Brad let a soft laugh out,   
‘’Oh so you have longer then’’ He called out and I swallowed slightly before shaking my head, looking up at them, I could feel y stomach twisting with nerves.   
‘’There’s no point in telling him when he’s going to college in LA and im going to New York’’ I spoke out, my own heart screaming against my chest.   
‘’so…you can have one of those romance things like that film…damn what’s it called…they fell in love in two weeks’’ Brad told me and I shook my head.   
‘’I can’t Brad, it’s just for the best that he doesn’t know anything about my stupid crush on him.’’ I told him and Sutan shook his head slightly before stepping forward.   
‘’You’re hiding something, tell us the real reason why you don’t want to tell him’’ Sutan asked and I breathed out deeply as I looked between them.   
‘’It’s because im leaving for New York.’’ I whispered as they nodded,   
‘’we know, you’ve already sad that’’ Brad said as Sutan stepped closer.   
‘’Adam…when are you leaving’’ Sutan asked and I swallowed a little before dropping my eyes.

‘’I leave for New York tomorrow’’


	2. *10 years, 4 weeks ago* – San Francisco

‘’Sutan’’ I called out as I came closer to a group and noticed him stood there, grinning slightly I dropped my bag down as he and Brad turned, their eyes going wide before Brad gasped slightly,   
‘’Wow…Adam…’’Brad stuttered out before Sutan knocked his elbow in to side before he laughed, my shoulders raising in a shrug before they dropped again. ‘’You look hot…no wonder you never had time to Skype with us, to busy creating this hottie and im sure you got taller bitch’’ Brad laughed out before he smiled brightly and leaped forward, his arms moving around me as I grinned and hugged him back tightly.  
‘’That and with college and work, you have no idea what it was like to get these four weeks off work to come home’’ I laughed out, ‘’But  its worth it to see you guys again’’ I smiled out at them as Brad let me go and I hugged Sutan tightly next again.  
‘’That’s great, oh  I want you to meet someone’’’ Sutan told me and I raised an eyebrow slightly as he rolled his eyes and turned back to the small group and pulled out another guy who turned with a smile. ‘’Adam this is Austin, Austin this is our Adam’’ Sutan told him as I held my hand out and smiled.   
‘’Nice to meet you Austin’’ I told him as he nodded,   
‘’And you too, I’ve heard so much about you’’ He told me and I blushed slightly before laughing,  
‘’All good, I hope’’ I asked as he laughed and nodded before he turned to Sutan and kissed his cheek,   
‘’Im going to go take Adam’s bags out to the car and then will come back’’ He whispered as Sutan smiled with a nod before pressing his lips to his, grinning slightly I turned away slightly and looked back at Brad who was watching me.

‘’Have I got something on my face?’’ I asked before he shook his head and grinned,  
‘’No, I just cant get over how hot you look, not that you didn’t before but wow Adam, you could’ve given me…us more warning’’ Brad grinned as I shook my head slightly.   
‘’I take it we are waiting for someone else?’’ I asked and Brad nodded slightly before I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up at Sutan, he smiled at me and I curled my arm around his waist slightly as I hugged him again.   
‘’Just one more person’’ He said and I nodded before I glanced over at Austin as he took my bags,   
‘’So Austin huh? ‘’ I asked with a grin as Sutan shrugged and laughed slightly.   
‘’Met him three months ago at college…started hanging out two months ago and started to date each other a few weeks ago’’ Sutan shrugged out as I laughed. ‘’So how is your love life…Jason or something wasn’t it?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly.   
‘’Jasper and mmm its okay I guess, wasn’t happy that I was spending my holiday coming back home to LA instead of going to Miami with him’’ I shrugged out as Brad choked slightly.   
‘’You chose here instead of Miami with a hot guy?’’ Brad asked his voice slightly higher as a few people looked towards us and I laughed before shrugging.   
‘’I wanted to see my friends and family, not spend my holiday with the family of a guy I sometimes hook up with’’ I told him,   
‘’so you aren’t actually dating?’’ Sutan asked and I shook my head slightly.   
‘’No we aren’t, sure there’s a few guys who like me and it could work out, Im just not looking for  relationship’’ I told them before footsteps came closer and then past us quickly.  
‘’Oh’’ Both Brad and Sutan spoke out at the same time before I frowned,   
‘’Oh…what?’’ I asked as I stepped away slightly and looked between them,   
‘’Nothing…we just thought that you and Jasper was dating and that you got over that crush on you know who’’ Sutan told me as my eyes widened slightly and I laughed nervously.   
‘’That was two years ago before I left, times change guys’’ I told them before I turned and started to walk away.   
‘’Where are you going Adam’’ Brad called out and I sighed a little,   
‘’Restroom’’ I muttered back to them as I walked through everyone waiting and towards the men’s restroom and pushed the door open and slipped inside.

Walking back out, I headed over to where Austin and Sutan was stood wrapped up in each other before Brad came over with a tray of drinks in his hand and he handed one to me as I yawned.  
‘’Did you sleep on the flight?’’ He asked as he handed the others out and I shook my head slightly before sipping at the coffee.  ‘’so when did you sleep last?’’  
‘’Um, well not last night because I was packing so the night before I think’’ I shrugged out as Brad sighed and rubbed my arm softly when I noticed another guy stood with us and I ran my eyes over him slightly with a frown before I turned away again as Brad walked back over.   
‘’Who are we waiting for anyway, I thought I was the only one to leave LA for college?’’ I asked him as he nodded and looked towards the gate as it opened again and people started to come out,   
‘’Tommy,  he went to Hawaii to see some family, getting back today so we said we would pick him up when getting you’’ Brad whispered to me and I nodded and looked through the crowd again, my breath catching in my throat slightly as I noticed a slightly shorter guy come through, his hair flipped over the side of his face and two toned with black and blonde the facial features the same as I took Tommy in. Glancing back at Brad again, I noticed him chewing on his thumb before I looked back up as Tommy looked towards the group and grinned brightly, my heart crashing against my chest slightly before I saw the guy I had notice move towards him quickly and gather him in a hug before he leaned down and pressed his lips against Tommy’s.   
‘’So much for not having a crush’’ Brad whispered to me and I pulled my eyes away before looking down at him,   
‘’I don’t’’ I told him sharply as I grabbed my messenger bag and pulled it over my shoulder’s again, Sutan’s eyes glancing over towards us as Brad grabbed my hand and started to pull me away slightly.   
‘’Honey, the way your eyes lit up when you first saw Tommy and then the way your face fell when you saw him and Kyle…that feeling is still there from high school and from before you left.’’ He whispered and I sighed slightly before I glanced over to them again to see that Tommy had moved towards the group.   
‘’I have Jasper now, we may not be dating or made it official, but it’s near enough we just haven’t spoken about it’’ I shrugged as he shook his head.   
‘’Baby you need to do something okay, you can’t exactly ignore him the whole time you are home’’ Brad told me and I looked up at him.   
‘’I could try’’ I muttered before Brad punched me and I laughed slightly, ‘’what was that for?’’ I asked as I rubbed my arm, my rings catching slightly on my hoody before I stuck my tongue out at him.   
‘’For being dumb, Adam you cant, either break it off with Jasper before you get attached or forget about Tommy’’ He whispered and I frowned slightly before smiling.  
‘’Well the sex with Jasper is kinder great’’ I grinned out,   
‘’Oh my god’’ Brad screeched out again and I bit my lip to stop myself from busting out in laughter as people turned back to look at us.

‘’What’s going on’’ A voice called out and I looked up to see everyone walking over before I shrugged a little and winked at Brad,   
‘’Just filling brad in on a few things’’ I grinned out before he pushed me and I stumbled slightly,   
‘’Yeah, information I would love to forget’’ Brad muttered out as Sutan laughed, I could feel eyes on me and I tried my best to ignore them. ‘’Can we please go, im being stared at too much’’ Brad mumbled causing us all to laugh before Austin nodded.

Following them out to the car, I let myself fall to the back of them before I glanced over at Tommy tucked in under Kyle’s arm, the smile on his face slightly as he laughed.   
‘’Stop staring’’ Brad’s voice whispered and I jumped slightly before I turned to look at him.   
‘’How…what…when did you get there?’’ I asked as he laughed and rolled his eyes.   
‘’Some of us aren’t all giants like you Lambert’’ He told me before we reached the others and the car.  ‘’Adam’s sitting up front with me’’ Brad called out quickly before I could say anything and I frowned at him as he mocked glared and dragged me around and in to the car. ‘’So how old is Jasper?’’ he asked as we started to get in and I looked over at him,   
‘’17’’ I told him with a shrug as I slid in to the seat and Brad followed me,   
‘’younger than us…well Adam you have got a catch’’ He grinned out to me as I rolled my eyes.  ‘’How did you meet’’  
‘’He is in my music class’’ I told him as he nodded and handed my bag back to me which I slipped down between my feet, ‘’Can we stop talking about him now,’’ I asked as Brad grinned and winked at me.

Leaning against the side window slightly as Austin pulled away from the airport, I watched everything start to flash by before I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I pulled it open to see a text from Jasper, pausing slightly as I read, I quickly replied to him and pushed my phone back in to my pocket as I sighed.   
‘’Was that Miami boy?’’ Brad asked and I glanced over at him with a warning look,   
‘’Miami boy?’’ A voice called out and Brad laughed slightly before nodding,   
‘’Yup Adam’s boy toy’’ Brad sang out slightly and I rubbed my face.   
‘’He isn’t my boy toy, he is only a year younger than me.’’ I told him before Brad rolled his eyes.   
‘’Whatever you turned down his offer of going to Miami, if that was me I would’ve said sorry family and friends im going off to Miami to be with my hunky boy’’ Brad grinned out as I breathed out.  
‘’You turned down his offer…’’ The voice came and I glanced back to notice it was Kyle before I turned back again and returned my eyes to the window,   
‘’I wanted to come home okay, just drop it’’ I muttered out as I felt the same prickling feeling on the back of my neck, feeling Brad’s hand on my arm I glanced over at him to see him looking at me with worried eyes before I turned back to stare out the window.

¤¤

‘’seriously Sutan I just want to get home and crash for a while, I’ve been on too many planes lately’’ I complained to him as he pulled me in to his place with the others.   
‘’Adam you have only flown home, jet lag can’t be that bad.’’ He told me and I stared at him, ‘’Okay where have you been?’’ He asked and I sighed a little.   
‘’I flew out to Chicago two weeks ago for four days, then I flew back to New York before flying back out there again last week for another two days and came back before coming home here, I need to sleep.’’ I told him as he pushed me down in to an arm chair,   
‘’Stay here tonight then I don’t mind but you are having a drink’’ Sutan winked at me and laughed as Brad came jumping over and dropped himself down in to my lap.   
‘’Why was you Chicago?’’ He asked as I curled an arm around his waist slightly,  
‘’First time was with work, some new club they opened out there and wanted me headlining, and then second time was with my theater class for a performance’’ I told him as he nodded slightly.  
‘’Bradley where is Tommy?’’ Sutan asked and I shot a look at Brad before he turned away,  
‘’Hallway still with Kyle’’ Brad said as he wiggled his eyebrows slightly as my phone started to ring, helping Brad off, I pulled it out my pocket and looked down with a sigh.

‘’Sorry got to get this.’’ I told them as I answered and held it to my ear. ‘’Hey’’ I mumbled out slightly in to it as I headed in to the hallway where Tommy quickly jumped away from Kyle, glancing up at him, I found my eyes meeting his brown ones before I looked away and down again as I walked past.  
‘’Yeah I miss you too, I landed about two hours ago’’ I told Jasper as I pulled the front door open and stepped outside.  
 ‘’No...No nothing is wrong just tired.’’ I spoke out before yawning again before I laughed softly and leaned on the railings and looked over the small view.   
‘’How’s Miami?’’ I asked and smiled a little as he started talking, laughing softly I nodded to myself before I traced my fingers through my hair,  
‘’That’s great, im sorry I didn’t come with you…no just listen…’’ Sighing I rubbed my fingers across my forehead slightly, ‘’Jasper, I haven’t seen my friends and family in nearly a year, you have to remember that you have more holiday breaks than I do.’’ I gritted out,   
‘’No im not seeing anyone else…why would you even think that, you know I hardly even have time with you when it comes to working and studying, hell half the time you are with me when I am studying.’’ Pulling my phone away from my ear slightly I closed my eyes before returning it again. ‘’Will you just listen to me; I didn’t want to come to Miami because I wanted to see my friends and family. ‘’ Gripping the railing slightly, I breathed out before laughing slightly, ‘’I don’t care if I have never been there; I mean what has Miami got which Los Angeles hasn’t? if I wanted to go to the beach all I have to do is walk a few streets, if I wanted to go shop, I just have to head in to the city, its practically the same’’ I told him before I pulled my phone away from my ear again and gripped it a little.  
‘’What…no…no, the last time I came home was a year and a half ago…will you just fucking shut up and let me talk’’ I yelled at him slightly before I moved and walked towards the stairs and sat down as I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. ‘’Baby im sorry…I didn’t mean to yell at you, you know I wouldn’t cheat on you, you know how hurt I felt after Hank, I wouldn’t do that to another person.’’ I told him as I heard a slight sniff and guilt ran through my body.   
‘’Jasper no…Don’t cry please, please forgive me…of course I miss you’’ I whispered to him, ‘’Oh… yeah okay…you get some sleep okay and I will talk to you soon.’’ I told him quietly before the phone line cut off and I let a deep sigh out and held my phone in my hand.

Letting my eyes close as I let the warmth of the sun wash over me before I opened them again and pushed my phone in to my pocket and stood up, curling my hand around the handle, I pushed the door open again and headed back inside before moving through hallway, glad that Tommy and Kyle wasn’t still there.   
‘’Oh darling you look like you could use a drink now’’ Sutan called out as I stepped in to the lounge and my eyes moved up to look across at him.   
‘’You don’t say’’ I muttered out as I rubbed my forehead slightly and followed him across the room and towards the kitchen where Sutan already was grabbing a glass from the cupboard, ‘’Thanks’’ I told him quietly as I took the drink from him and quickly downed half of it.   
‘’Want to talk about it?’’ He asked as I finished the rest of my drink off and he poured me another one,   
‘’what’s there to talk about? He thought I wanted to come home because I had some other guy here’’ I muttered out and down most of my drink again.   
‘’But you aren’t dating each other’’ Sutan spoke softly,   
‘’we aren’t ’’ I told him as I took a small mouthful of my drink and leaned back against the counter with a sigh before I pulled myself up on to the counter and ran my hand through my hair.   
‘’So why is he getting upset?’’  Sutan asked as he walked over to me,  
‘’He thinks I wanted to come home because there was some guy here yet I spend nearly all my time with working or studying and then half the time when I am, he is in my dorm with me…I don’t even have time to talk with you guys.’’ I told him honestly as he nodded.   
‘’So what happened with Hank’’ Sutan asked and I went wide eyed as I looked up at him,   
‘’Hank...how did…’’ I stuttered slightly as he came closer and rested his hands on my shoulders,   
‘’It was a little hard not to hear everything you said to him, the window’s open and you did yell at him a little’’ Sutan told me before I looked towards the lounge window before I groaned a little and turned back, my hand coming up to move over my face slightly.   
‘’Sorry’’ I muttered out to him as he squeezed my shoulder before letting go,   
‘’I would refill your glass but I think it would be safer to just give you the bottle’’ He chuckled before pressing it in to my hand and I looked down at it before I placed it on the counter beside me and shook my head.   
‘’Im good, and Hank is an ex boyfriend, I never told you about him because we were only together three months, broke up just before I came home last time…he ended up cheating on me, said that he done it because I didn’t give him enough attention, said I focused on my studies too much’’ I laughed slightly before dropping my eyes down. ‘’I guess it kinder was my fault, I mean there was so many times which I forgot our dates because I was sat in the dorm lounge or in the campus library just studying or in the studio singing’’ I shrugged out, ‘’ All I had to do was put my books down for a few hours each time just to go see him, to spend that bit of time with him you know’’ I told Sutan as I looked back up at him and he sighed.   
‘’Darling, it wasn’t your fault he cheated on you.’’ Sutan told me as he reached up and ran his fingers through my hair, ‘’He just didn’t understand how much your studies mean to you’’ He whispered as I sighed and leaned forward on my knees slightly before I glanced towards the lounge as Brad’s laughter went out and I saw them all laughing, my eyes slowly pausing on Tommy before I sighed and turned back.

Picking the bottle up from the counter, I swallowed some of the strong drink down before I coughed slightly and Sutan laughed.   
‘’Everything okay over there’’ Hearing Tommy’s voice call out from the lounge, I brought the bottle to my lips again as I drank some more down,   
‘’Adam…’’ Sutan whispered before I shook my head,   
‘’Im fine, im fine’’ I told him as I set the bottle back down again and laughed slightly, ‘’really im fine, nothing like a fight with the guy your seeing to cheer you up when you come home’’ I laughed as I pushed myself off the counter and leaned against it slightly.   
‘’Adam, when did you start drinking?’’ Sutan asked me as his hands came to mine, ‘’this isn’t you’’ He told me as I laughed  
‘’I don’t drink, I just want to get some sleep okay’’ I told Sutan before he sighed and nodded, letting him lead me out the kitchen by the hand, I grinned slightly before pulling my phone out my pocket and chucked it on to the counter top before we headed down the hallway and towards a spare bedroom.  ‘’Shit im sorry Sutan, I being an ass’’ I told him as he laughed softly and pushed me towards the bed’’  
‘’Darling don’t worry about it, just get some sleep and we will have some fun tomorrow’’ He told me before kissing my cheek and I nodded.

¤¤

‘’Is he okay?’’ Brad asked as I walked back in to the lounge and nodded with a smile a I walked over and curled back in to Austin’s lap again.  
‘’I think that Jasper just opened up a few sore wounds and everything, nothing a good night’s sleep wont cure’’ I told him as he nodded slightly before he glanced towards the hallway again.   
‘’So who’s Hank?’’ Tommy asked quietly as I raised an eyebrow as I looked over towards him to see him sat against Kyle’s side, his arm wrapped around Tommy’s waist and his own over his again.  
‘’Adam’s ex’’ I told them as Austin’s curled his arms around my waist. ‘’He cheated on Adam after three months of dating and then Jasper accused Adam of not wanting to go to Miami because he had another guy home here waiting for him’’ I finished up, Tommy’s eyes widening slightly before he frowned.  
‘’But Adam wouldn’t cheat on his boyfriend would he?’’ Tommy asked and I laughed softly.   
‘’Oh Adam and Jasper aren’t dating’’ I said as Tommy frowned again, ‘’Yeah, it sounds like it a lot but apparently they are not.’’ I laughed softly.   
‘’Sutan do you mind if I go use your bathroom’’ Kyle asked and I nodded softly,   
‘’Sure, it’s just around the first corner’’ I told him as he untangled himself from Tommy and headed out.   
‘’Sutan…’’ Brad spoke out and I turned to look back over at him, ‘’is he really okay because he didn’t look it’’ He said softly and I sighed.   
‘’I think he might be regretting coming home and not going to Miami’’ I told Brad with a knowing look as he nodded slightly and stood up.   
‘’I know just what he needs. Do you have any Ice cream?’’ Brad asked and I laughed slightly,   
‘’Why do you want Ice cream for?’’ I asked before he rolled his eyes.   
‘’Sutan darling are you forgetting everything we used to do in high school?’’ He asked before eyes turned to Tommy as he laughed,  
‘’I remember, you used to get ice cream and a random film and we used to cuddle in bed laughing at the stupid film and just talking’’ He spoke out and I smiled slightly,   
‘’Right, now do you have any ice cream?’’ Brad asked again and I rolled my eyes slightly before nodding,   
‘’But he just wants to sleep Brad, maybe we should leave him alone’’ I told before he shook his head and walked in to the kitchen. 

‘’Adam baby’’ Brad called out as he walked down the hall with a tub of chocolate ice cream and a handle full of spoons before he paused and looked back, ‘’Well are you guys coming?’’ He asked before walking in to the spare room.   
‘’Baby’’ I asked as I turned to look at Austin and he grinned slightly,   
‘’No can do, I have to get going and make sure things are ready for your performance this weekend’’ He told me as I pouted and nodded,   
‘’Okay, call me later yeah?’’I asked as he smiled with a nod, kissing him quickly, I got up with his help before watching as he left.  ‘’So Tommy are you coming?’’ I asked him as I turned back and he looked at me surprised.   
‘’Coming where?’’ Kyle asked as he walked back in and I turned to look at him with a smile,   
‘’to cheer Adam up of course’’ I told him as he frowned slightly and looked towards Tommy,   
‘’isn’t that the guy you used to have a crush on?’’ Kyle asked and I spun around to stare at Tommy to see a slight blush form over his cheeks.   
‘’That was years ago, but sure, you know how I don’t like watching people be upset’’ Tommy told us as he stood and walked towards Kyle and kissed his cheek softly.   
‘’I have to go anyway, have to pick my sister up’’ Kyle told him before kissing him softly and I rolled my eyes a little before I turned towards the hallway as footsteps faded and I felt fingers wrap around my wrist quickly,   
‘’Please don’t say anything’’ Tommy whispered to me and I nodded slightly before we headed in to the spare room to see Adam curled up against Brad slightly, his head on his chest as they both dug in to the ice cream.   
‘’Can’t believe you guys got me doing this again, I didn’t work this weight of to just put it back on again’’ Adam grumbled out as I climbed on to the bed beside him and Tommy on my other side as I laughed.   
‘’Darling, just be quiet and let us cheer you up okay’’ I told him as I grabbed a spoon and handed it towards Tommy before grabbing my own and moved the pot of Brad’s lap and stuck it on Adams so it was in reach of everything.   
‘’Mhm’ cold’’ Adam muttered before he dug back in again and I laughed.   
‘’um, guys are any of you going to put the film on?’’ Tommy asked as I looked towards him with a slight grin,   
‘’Go on then, lets see what you pick and no horrors’’ I warned him, his lips pushing up in to a pout slightly before he nodded and got up. Turning back, I looked up at Adam to see his eyes following Tommy as he headed across the room and turned the TV on before he headed out. ‘’So much for not having a crush on him anymore’’ I spoke to him softly, his eyes flicking to mine quickly before they dropped away again and he spooned a large mouthful of ice cream in to his mouth just as Tommy came back in.   
‘’I don’t’’ Adam muttered out before Brad shoved him slightly, ’’Jerk’’ He muttered to him,  
‘’Bitch’’  
‘’Whore’’  
‘’Giant’’  
‘’Smurf’’  
‘’Retard’’  
‘’Dick’’  
‘’Guys…guys stop okay’’ I laughed out as Tommy looked over, a slight grin on his face before I stood  
‘’He started it’’ Adam whined out and I rose an eyebrow slightly, ‘’What he did…’’  
‘’My god, it’s like we are 16 again’’ I laughed out as I shook my head slightly with a grin and headed out the room. Grabbing the bottle of drink Adam left on the side, I walked back in to the spare room again and over to the bed where I looked at Tommy, ‘’Move over then’’ I told him, his eyes widening slightly as he looked at me, Adams doing the same out the corner of my eye.  
‘’Okay’’ Tommy nodded softly before he moved over on the bed and closer to Adam as he spooned more ice cream in to his mouth again before dropping the spoon in to the tub which was still resting on his stomach.

¤¤

‘’Oh your phone keeps buzzing on the counter top’’ Sutan told me as I glanced over and shrugged a little and turned back to the film again, my head resting on Brad’s shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair softly.  
‘’Honey, shouldn’t you at least check it?’’ Brad asked as I shrugged again,   
‘’Don’t really want too’’ I mumbled to him before I reached down and shifted the half empty ice cream tub on my lap to a different place so I could get some feeling back on my thigh again,   
‘’Adam’’ Sutan spoke out and I groaned a little before I moved the tub again and pushed it on to Brad’s lap.   
‘’Fine…fine im going’’ I muttered out as I climbed up on to my knees and then on to my feet and walked across the bed before stepping down and headed back towards the kitchen where I heard my phone buzzing on the counter top again.  
‘’Yeah’’ I spoke in to my phone as I answered it and lent against the counter. ‘’Jasper…I thought you were going to sleep?’’ I asked as he laughed softly and I bit my lip. ‘’No, I was just trying to get some sleep myself…no at a friends, they wanted to hang out before I head home in a few days to see my parents cause they live in a different part of LA’’ I told him, hearing footsteps I glanced up to see Tommy coming out the room and walking down the hall before he disappeared around a corner and I moved towards the lounge.   
‘’It’s not like that Jasp…please don’t start again’’ I muttered out as I rubbed my forehead slightly and sat down on the couch, my elbows resting on my knees as I let my eyes close, ‘’fine okay, I will talk to you tomorrow’’ I muttered out before I hanged up again, breathing out slightly I shook my head and stood up, walking back to the kitchen I noticed Tommy looking for some glasses before my phone went off again and I pulled it up to my ear.  
‘’I told you I would talk to you tomorrow Jasper’’ I said in to the phone before I stopped walking and my hand reached out to grip the counter top as I swallowed. ‘’Hank’’ I breathed out slightly before I felt Tommy turn and look towards me before his footsteps left the room.   
‘’No…im here…what…why are you calling me?’’ I asked through a staggered breath, his voice coming out low and with a laugh as I turned slightly to slide down the side of the counter until I was sat on the floor, not trusting my legs to hold me.  
‘’Give it to my dorm mate’’ I told him when he told me that he still had a few things of mine. ‘’No im not giving you my parents address’’ I told him as I swallowed slightly again.   
‘’Hank no…please just leave me alone’’ I whispered as my eyes closed again and I tried to force the tears back, ‘’I don’t care you hurt me…trust you?’’ I laughed slightly, ‘’Why should I trust you, the last time I ended up in the emergency room because of you Hank if you remember a busted rib and fractured collar bone, not forgetting the bruises and cuts’’ I growled out to him slightly, ‘’That’s bullshit Hank and you know it, you was stood there watching as they beat me up, you planned it all so don’t give me that shit.’’ I told him as footsteps echoed through the hallway and I wiped at my eyes angrily.  ‘’Just send it to my dorm mate and then leave me alone’’ I breathed out before hanging up and threw my phone across the room, my hands shaking as I ran them over my face slightly before jumping as I felt a hand on my shoulder.  
‘’Adam, are you okay’’ Tommy asked lightly as Brad and Sutan appeared behind him, shaking slightly I shook my head,   
‘’Bathroom…’’ I muttered out as I felt my stomach starting to turn,  
‘’Just around the corner’’ Sutan told me as I pushed myself up on to my feet and ran down the hall, skidding in to the bathroom, I pushed the seat and lid up before the ice cream and booze made a come back.

‘’Baby…whats going on?’’ Brad asked as soft fingers pushed through my hair as I dry heaved again, a glass being pushed in to my hand which I shakily pressed against my lips and swallowed some of the water down before I put it down on the floor and moved away from the toilet.   
‘’Im fine’’ I told him as I let my eyes close as I sat back against the cool wall,   
‘’Honey, you are far from fine…really who gets a phone call from their ex and then go to throw up for half an hour?’’ Sutan’s voice came wondering through from the door way as I breathed out and slowly opened my eyes to see the worried looks on all their faces.   
‘’So are you going to tell us what has really been going on with Hank?’’ Brad asked as I sighed,  
‘’Hank…he might have been the one to cheat on me but I was the one who ended it…and no one ends it with Hank’’ I muttered out as I picked the glass of water up again, my hands still shaking slightly as I swallowed a few more mouthfuls down again. ‘’When I went back to college after coming home, that was when I met Jasper and Hank wasn’t happy about it, two weeks later I was heading back to my dorm when him and a few friends jumped me.’’ I shrugged out. ‘’The rest doesn’t matter’’  
‘’Of course it matters Adam, you are our friend’’ Brad told me as he moved and pulled me against his side a little.   
‘’Brad is right Adam, you can trust us’’ Looking up slightly, I let my eyes lingue on Tommy as he shifted on his feet a little before I nodded to his words, my eyes dropping back to Sutan’s tiled floor.  
‘’They busted one of my ribs and fractured my collar bone, the beating was quite harsh and it was Hank who busted my rib when he kicked me before walking away. I didn’t tell any of you because I knew you would worry, not even my parents know and that’s how I would like to keep it.’’ I told them.   
‘’Oh baby’’ Brad whispered before I felt his lips against the top of his head, his arm curling me in to his side as I breathed out slightly.   
‘’So why did he call you?’’ Sutan asked and I looked up slightly,   
‘’He found some of my stuff at his apartment, wanted moms address to send it but I wouldn’t give it to him.’’ I spoke out, my voice a little rough from throwing up.   
‘’Come on, lets just get in to bed and get some sleep’’ Sutan spoke out as he took my hands and pulled me up, Brad grabbing my other as they pulled me back in to the spare room again. ‘’You too Tommy’’ Sutan spoke out as I walked over to where my bags was and pulled my shirt off. 

‘’Shit Adam… what is that from?’’ I heard Brad gasp out and I turned slightly before I lifted my arm to look at my side where there was a sight scar running towards my back and I shrugged slightly.   
‘’It’s from when I had surgery to fix my rib’’ I told him, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling slightly as I found another top and quickly pulled it on.   
‘’Here’’ I turned slightly as Sutan walked back in and pushed some clothes in to Tommy’s hands and directed him back out the room as I kicked my shoes off and started to undo my jeans, pulling them off, I slipped my legs in to a pair of lounge pants and let them hang around my hips as I moved back towards the bed and climbed on to it again, the carton of ice cream gone, movie paused as I pushed the covers down the bed slightly and slipped  under them as Brad joined me in just a pair of boxers.  
‘’Are you really okay Adam?’’ He asked softly as I curled in to his side slightly as I nodded and he ran his fingers through my hair before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. 

Feeling the bed dip behind me, I let my arm curl over Brad’s waist, my hand resting on his skin between his ribs and hip bone, my eyes closing softly as I breathed out, I let my legs stretch out slightly before the bed moved again and the covers was pulled up a little more.   
‘’Goodnight boys’’ Sutan called out and I stiffened slightly as I realized that I was between Brad and Tommy before brad’s soft fingers on my arm soothed me a little and I relaxed back in to him again as the movie was turned off and the room fell in to a darkness.

¤¤

Laying in the darkness of the room, I couldn’t help but stare across to where I knew Adam had his back facing me, his head still on Brad’s chest, slowly I listened to both of them fall asleep before a hand lightly touched against my arm and I jumped slightly but turned to face Sutan in the dark.  
‘’Why didn’t you ever say anything?’’ He whispered to me and I frowned slightly,   
‘’Say about what?’’ I asked quietly as Sutan sighed again.   
‘’About Adam, Tommy, why didn’t you ever say anything about liking him back in high school’’ He asked and I breathed out a little before biting my lip.   
‘’Because I knew he was leaving, because we never spoke apart from an odd hi here and there, because…because he wouldn’t of ever wanted to date someone like me’’ I whispered back to him as he sighed and rubbed his thumb over my arm.   
‘’Oh honey, and that crush never went away?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly,  
‘’I mean, I thought it did but then I saw him in the airport earlier talking to Brad, the way he smiled and laughed…I guess it never really went away in the first place’’ I admitted, a soft laugh leaving his lips. ‘’But it doesn’t matter anymore does it, I have Kyle and Adam has that guy back in New York, Miami where ever’’ I shrugged out as I turned to lie on my back again, eyes staring up in to the darkness as Sutan sighed again.  
‘’Just always keep an open mind Tommy’’ He told me before I felt the bed shift as he turned over, shaking my head slightly, I moved and arm up under my head before I turned to look towards Adam again as he shifted in his sleep and moved away from Brad slightly. 

¤¤

‘’Tommy’’ Groaning slightly I rolled over and brought my pillow up over my head before a soft chuckle escaped their lips and they pulled it away again. ‘’We have to nip out quickly, but will be back as soon as we can okay, Adam is still asleep but we thought we would tell you’’ They whispered and I nodded a little before snuggling back down in to the covers again. Hearing the sound of a door close, I let my eyes open quickly before I turned and slowly looked over to see Adam curled up around a pillow slightly, his dark hair over his eyes slightly as his head rested on top of a ringed hand, biting my lip slightly, I carefully moved closer and slipped my arm around him and let my fingers touch against his wrist and started to slowly slide his hand out from under his head, knowing that if he stayed laying on his rings, he would have a sore cheek when he woke up. Setting it down on the pillow, I let my eyes move over his face slowly just taking his features in since the last time I had seen him. He had lost a lot of weight, his cheek bones sticking out slightly, the curve of his jaw sharp as I slowly reached up and let my fingertips dust across it before I moved away quickly as he stirred, turning back to stare across the other side of the room, I let my eyes close again as the bed moved behind me before the sudden warmth of an heavy arm draped across my waist and pulled me back slightly, Adam’s breath warm on the back of my neck as I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from moving.  
Feeling his breath even out again, I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at where Adam had curled his arm around me, his fingers wide across my ribs, my back pressed against his chest fully as he buried his face in to the back of my neck, I knew that I should’ve been moving out of his hold, but the warmth of his body and the way I seemed to of fitted against him had me falling back to sleep quickly again, my arm slowly moving to lay over his.

 

Waking up a little later, I stretched out, bones creaking slightly as my skin stretched over them tightly, the warmth not as much but still a small pool on my lower stomach, glancing down, I blushed slightly as I realized that Adam’s hand was resting on my lower stomach, his little finger tucked just under the waist band of the sleep pants Sutan grabbed me, breathing out slightly, I glanced up at Adam’s face to see him sleeping still before I turned back and just watched his hand move slightly with each breath I took, his perfectly painted fingernails a sudden contrast against my pale skin, the rings which coated his long fingers were cool against my flushed skin and I couldn’t help but blush again at how close he was to touching me.  
Breathing out slightly I let my hand reach down before I lightly traced my fingertips over each of his fingers before I ran them up to his wrist and carefully moved it off me, sighing lightly at the loss of warmth which came from his hand, I slipped out of the bed and padded bare foot across the room and out in to the hallway and in to the kitchen where I started to make some coffee. 

  
‘’Oh you are up, good’’ Sutan’s voice called out and I jumped slightly, the cup I was holding falling out my hands and smashing over the floor as I stared wide eyed.   
‘’A little warning instead of making me jump’’ I laughed out as I looked down and winched a little as the hotness of the liquid started to seep through my top, pulling it off I rubbed it over my chest and pants a little, crouching down I picked up the little parts of the cup before dropping my top down and mopped up the spilt coffee before I stood and pushed it in to the bin and the top in to the wash.   
‘’Sorry darling, where’s Adam?’’ Sutan asked as I started to make another drink for myself and the other two,   
‘’Still asleep’’ I told them,   
‘’Awake actually’’ Came a tired voice and I jumped again before turning around to see Adam walking in to the kitchen, his hands rubbing at his eyes, sleep pants riding low on his hips, swallowing slightly I turned back to making the drinks before I handed the other two there’s and started to make one for Adam.   
‘’Here’’ I said softly before pressing the cup in to his hands, a small smile on his lips before he frowned and looked around slightly.   
‘’Has anyone seen my phone?’’ He asked as I walked back to the counter again and picked my own drink up as Sutan laughed softly.   
‘’Other side of the lounge…where you threw it last night’’ He told him as Adam sighed and turned to slowly walk across.   
‘’Im going to go get dressed’’ I told them as I turned and headed back down the hall towards my room.

¤¤

So avoiding Tommy while I was here…yeah that wasn’t going to work out at all and to wake up at one point with him in my arms was hell, it was like life was trying to show me what I couldn’t have, so I let myself fall back to sleep holding him close to me before I woke up to a empty bed.

 

Finding my phone at last, I checked it over before heading back over and placed it on the counter top as I sipped at my drink and noticed that Tommy had gone, trying to forget the feeling of him in my arms, I ran a hand through my hair, winching slightly as one of my rings snagged on my hair.  
‘’How are you feeling this morning’’ Brad asked as he came walking over and kissed my cheek softly before passing in to the kitchen area,   
‘’A lot better than I was yesterday’’ I admitted as he smiled  
‘’Oh good,’’ He grinned out.   
‘’Oh by the way you have lunch plans with your parents, so go shower, change and pretty yourself up because they will be here in an hour to pick you up’’ Sutan told me before I choked slightly on my drink and looked over at him.  
‘’I was going to spend the first week with you guys and then next with my parents and then whatever’’ I told them as they grinned at each other and then over at me. ‘’Okay, fine, fine…I will go get myself ready’’ I muttered out as I walked back to the spare room again and over to my bags where I placed my drink down on the unit and pulled fresh clothes out, laying them on the bed I found my toiletries bag next and a towel bed before heading out and down to where I remembered the bathroom was…I still needed to ask Sutan about when he moved in to the new place and out of the old apartment building which he said he had hated last time I had come home to visit again.

 

Drying my hair off, I chucked my towel on the closed toilet seat and struggled my way in to my jeans I had picked up, breathing out slightly I ran my hand over my stomach and stared at myself in the mirror before pulling a face and shook my head slightly as I turned back and pulled the little bag closer and started to take out my foundation which I quickly applied before adding the liner and eyeshadow.  
By the time I was finished, my eyes were popping out and I grinned a little before picking up my shirt and tugged it on over my head and grabbed my hair products. Working the wax through my hair, I paused slightly and looked in the mirror with a smile, happy with how it all looked I cleaned my hands off on my towel before grabbing my wallet and phone and pushed them in to my pockets as I slipped my feet in to some military style boots and laced them up tightly.

‘’Wow…’’ Looking up, I was greeted with four stunned looks as I blushed slightly and looked behind me and then back again.   
‘’What…’’ I asked, ‘’Does something not look right?’’   
‘’Not look right…Adam…you look stunning’’ Austin spoke out and I laughed slightly as I rubbed the back of my neck.   
‘’I agree with my boyfriend babe apart from the word stunning, you look fucking hot… you know you are only going to lunch with your parents right?’’ Sutan asked and I grinned slightly before I shrugged.   
‘’I think they would think that there was something wrong if I wasn’t dressed up’’ I told them, my eyes flicking over to Tommy quickly to see him staring at his laptop, a blush on his cheeks slightly before I turned back again. ‘’But I do look okay right?...I mean I haven’t seen them in god knows how long and I have no idea where we are going for lunch’’ I rambled on before Sutan laughed and walked over to me, his hands brushing my shoulder off before sliding down the front of my chest.  
‘’Adam…take it from the fashion students…minus one you look perfect…wouldn’t you agree Tommy’’ Sutan asked and I glared at him slightly before I glanced up over at Tommy who was blushing harder.   
‘’Uhh yeah, you really good’’ He spoke out quickly and I bit my lip slightly before I looked back at Sutan as he grinned.   
‘’You are an ass’’ I whispered to him as a horn sounded outside and I grinned slightly, ‘’Well I will see you guys later, im gunna go see my momma’’ I laughed out before kissing Sutan’s cheek and waved by to the others.

¤¤

‘’No, do you remember when me and Neil was younger and we were out in the garden and Neil came running in screaming because he thought he stood on a real snake’’ I laughed out slightly with my parents,  
‘’Oh dear, I couldn’t forget that day even if I wanted too, your brother made sure of that’’ Mom spoke out and I grinned slightly from across the table, lunch had been amazing and now we were just sat around catching up on everything which was going on in our lives.  
‘’So have you met anyone interesting yet?’’ Dad asked and I stared at him before laughing slightly,   
‘’is that your way of asking if I have met a boy I like yet?’’ I asked and he grinned slightly before nodding, ‘’And no I haven’t, to be honest it doesn’t bother me, I mean im either working or studying so I don’t really have a lot of time to go out and party which I wouldn’t really want to do but im happy as I am’’ I told them with a smile as mom looked at me before nodding slightly.   
‘’So how is college life away from home?’’ Mom asked and I smiled,  
‘’I love it, everyone is really friendly and I’ve made tons of friends since I’ve been there, classes aren’t too hard but with shifts at the local theater I have to use most of my free time either doing homework or just studying, some days I will do it while at work if its quiet enough’’ I told them with a smile, ‘’The campus is massive but so easy to get around and the professors are all pretty laid back, not like teachers back in high school, I’ve also managed to get myself time in the studios quite often, most of the time its after everyone else has gone home so I have to do everything myself but normally I just go in to sing you know, like I used to at home whenever I thought I was alone’’ I laughed out slightly as my parents smiled.  
‘’We’re glad your happy Adam, really we are, when you first mentioned about wanting to go to New York for college we were quite worried that you would regret it when it was too late to do anything about it but now im thinking it was a really good choice you made’’ Dad told me and I nodded a little, my fingers playing around with my ring before I picked my drink up and swallowed some of it down.   
‘’There are some times when I do miss being home here, like when Sutan, Brad and me used to leave school and then head to the beach for a bit, or they would come around ours and we would mess around. I miss stuff like that, just being able to walk a couple of streets to their houses and then I miss your home cooking a lot mom’’ I laughed out as she grinned and reached over to lay her hand on top of mine.  
‘’I’ll see what I can do about getting you some home cooked food for when your there’’ She told me and I grinned slightly.   
‘’So are you in a dorm or your own apartment?’’ Dad asked as I turned to look at him,  
‘’Oh, um im in a dorm at the moment, my room mate Isaac is pretty awesome and we are in to a lot of the same music and stuff so it makes living together really easy, but im also looking for a apartment off college campus too’’ I told him as he nodded,  
‘’If you need any help  I can always catch a flight out or take a road trip up and help you out son’’ He told me as I smiled and nodded,  
‘’that sounds great dad really, maybe you could bring the boys too so they can stop complaining about not seeing New York’’ I laughed slightly as my parents shared a knowing look and grinned.  
‘’We can never break that friendship up,’’ Mom said as I grinned and nodded.

‘’Im going to go pay, you two behave yourselves’’’ Dad warned us and I grinned slightly and watched as he walked away.   
‘’So boys…tell me any cute ones there?’’ Mom asked and I laughed slightly and nodded.   
‘’Quite a few actually, I did have one boyfriend we were together for three months and that was before I came home for the first time, we ended because we decided that our studies were more important’’ I told her as she nodded.  
‘’So were you safe when with him?’’ She asked and I choked slightly on the mouthful of coke which I had in my mouth before I swallowed it,  
‘’Of course I was, im not stupid’’ I told her as I felt my cheeks warm up slightly and she winked at me.  
‘’Just making sure Adam,’’ She told me with a smile as I nodded slightly.   
‘’I know im not leaving for a while yet, but can you bake me some of those cookies of yours, you know with the white chocolate and cherry’s in or was it strawberries?’’ I asked as mom laughed and dad came back.   
‘’It was Raspberries and of course’’ She smiled at me as I grinned and stood up,  
 ‘’Ready to go?’’ Dad asked as I nodded along with mom  
‘’As always’’ I told them before laughing slightly and headed towards the entrance of the diner, pulling the door open for them, I smiled back and followed them out in to the midday sun, my hands reaching in to my pockets and wrapping around my wallet and phone slightly as I walked along with them. ‘’God I miss the smell of this city’’ I laughed out slightly as mom looked at me confused, ‘’There’s that sort of ocean smell to it because of close to the coast we are, and I don’t know its always sunny and there’s just that city smell which is different in every city’’ I laughed out a little. ‘’New York don’t always have the sun shining, although when it rains and we have thunderstorms, its pretty amazing like when it finally does rain here some times’’ I told them as they both smiled at me.  
‘’Do I detect a hint of you missing home a lot more then you say you do?’’ Dad asked and I laughed as I looked down at the pavement and then back up.   
‘’I miss a lot about LA but I love so much about New York too, I was thinking that if I did find an apartment, I might stay a little longer after I’ve finished college and everything.’’ I told them as mom looked at me.   
‘’You mean moving there permanently?’’ She asked and I nodded slightly. ‘’Have you told Sutan and Brad about this?’’ She asked and I swallowed slightly before shaking my head,  
‘’No you guys are the first, I mean I don’t know if I am going to do that for sure, but….its just a thought’’ I told the before dad moved his hand up on to my shoulder.  
‘’Well what ever you do Adam, make sure you do it because you want to and not because someone else wants you too okay’’ He told me and I smiled.   
‘’I will’’ I told him.

¤¤

‘’Hey, your back, so how was lunch with Mama and papa Lambert?’’ Sutan asked as I walked back through the door and I grinned slightly,  
‘’Amazing, I didn’t actually think I missed them as much as I thought, I missed them way more’’ I laughed out as I pushed the bags in my hand in to the armchair and walked over towards the kitchen where Sutan was stood reading a magazine. ‘’They say hello too’’ I told him as he smiled and nodded.   
‘’That’s good, so have a good day yeah?’’ he asked as I nodded with a smile and pushed myself on to one of the stools against the side before I glanced around,   
‘’Where is everyone?’’ I asked and Sutan grinned slightly.   
‘’Brad is out with Austin food shopping and Tommy is in his room with Kyle…god knows what they are up too’’ He grinned to me before winking, laughing I shook my head slightly before there was a sound of something hitting something and then a smash, looking up at Sutan, we both looked towards the hallways as a door opened and footsteps came down, before long Kyle appeared, a pissed off expression on his face as he tugged his jacket on and made his way towards the front door.  
‘’Yeah you fucking run you asshole, don’t even think about ever coming back again’’ Tommy’s voice yelled out after him before the front door slammed and then his bedroom door slammed.   
‘’Well…’’ Sutan muttered,   
‘’I guess that wasn’t what you were thinking they were doing’’ I asked and he nodded slightly, ‘’Do you think he’s okay?’’   
‘’I have no idea honey’’ Sutan told me as I nodded and then grinned slightly,   
‘’Ice cream, booze and stupid comedy?’’ I asked as he laughed and nodded. Moving, we quickly grabbed all three along with spoons before we headed down the hallway and I softly knocked on his door, ‘’Tommy…is everything okay?’’ I asked, silence before there was a slight sniff and then shoveling.   
‘’Just fucking dandy’’ Tommy’s voice came back and I glanced at Sutan as he sighed and nodded, twisting the door handle, I pushed it open and glanced across to see Tommy sat against his headboard with his knees against his chest before he looked over at us as we raised the items and he laughed slightly along with wiping his eyes.

Once settled, I glanced around Tommy’s room slightly to see it painted a dark color, posters of different bands were scattered across the walls, one wall held a large bookcase filled with tons of films and little figurines, in another corner held several guitars, his blinds shut nearly all the way casting a dark glow around the room before I settled back again, my arm across the top of Tommy’s head board as he sat between me and Sutan with the ice cream on his lap.   
‘’so are we going to find out what just happened?’’ Sutan asked softly as Tommy swallowed some of the whiskey and shrugged slightly, ‘’because you were both happy and laughing when you came in to this room…did he find out that you are really a women?’’ Sutan whispered causing Tommy to laugh brightly and I smiled a little as he leaned back a little more, his shoulder pressing in to my side.   
‘’Everything was fine, he went to the bathroom and his phone went off so I answered it like I normally do when he wasn’t in the room and it was some girl and she was saying shit like oh baby I cant wait to see you again tonight and all that bullshit, so when I finally spoke she was like oh why do you have Kyle’s phone so I told her that it was my boyfriends phone and he was in the bathroom and she laughed saying that he wasn’t gay and all that shit so when he came back I held the phone out and went your girlfriend is on the phone and he took it with a smile before he realized what I had said’’ He laughed out and I swallowed a little suddenly feeling sorry for him, letting my hand drop slightly, I ran my fingers through the back of his hair as Tommy sighed softly.  
‘’So he was cheating on you’’ Sutan asked as Tommy nodded.   
‘’Yup and all the fucking people, it was a god damn girl’’ Tommy laughed out,  ‘’So I told him it was over and he tried fighting back saying that I was no more cheating on him then he was cheating on me because of sleeping in the same bed as you guys last night’’ Tommy laughed and I bit my lip slightly and let my fingers drop down to the back of his neck where I softly rubbed them over the soft skin there, feeling Tommy lean back in to the touch slightly, I couldn’t help but smile before I glanced back to the film again.  
‘’So why did he storm out?’’ Sutan asked and he laughed a little,   
‘’Umm…I might of kinder told him that he would want to get to her because she had news to tell him and that I would kill him and make his murder look like an accident’’ Tommy told us which left us all in laughter before it died out and we went back to watching the film and drinking again.

 

‘’Oh what…no that isn’t fair…you don’t do cheer up time without me’’ Brad’s voice from the doorway made us all jump and look towards it before he tilted his hips and placed a hand on it. ‘’So tell me, who was it this time’’ He asked and Tommy raised his hand slightly.   
‘’Kyle was cheating on me with a girl’’ He spoke out before taking another mouthful of whiskey and Brad dropped the diva act and walked over.   
‘’Oh honey, you don’t need that bitch and his dog, you have us’’ He told Tommy who laughed before hiccupping and leaned in to me a little more, my hand slipping from his waist down to his hip in the same movement before Brad raised his eyebrow at me slightly.   
‘’He wanted a hug and Sutan refused’’’ I told him quickly with wide eyes as he rolled his and looked over at Sutan who just smirked and shrugged slightly.   
‘’Well scoot up, you boyfriends in the kitchen putting everything away Sutan, I am never going shopping for you with him again unless its clothes.’’ He told us before I laughed,   
‘’Well you can take my place cause there’s a few things I need to do’’ I told Brad before Tommy whined slightly.   
‘’No stay, you’re comfortable.’’ He muttered out before wiggling closer to me.   
‘’Tommy, unless you want me peeing in your bed, I have to get up’’ I told him, his face screwing up slightly before he moved away, laughing I got up and headed out the room, going to the toilet, I washed my hands and then quickly dried them again, walking out I headed in to the lounge and grabbed my bags before putting them in the spare room and headed back in to Tommy’s again. 

Sitting down on the bed, it didn’t take long for Tommy to wiggle out of Brad’s hug and move himself so he was sat on my lap and I swallowed a little as he settled back against my chest and pulled my arms around him, my eyes wide as I looked over at the other two and they grinned.  
‘’How much has he had to drink’’ I asked and Sutan held the bottle up to show that it was nearly empty and I shook my head slightly.

Okay Lambert, you can do this, it’s not like you are going to get used to him sitting on you or being in your arms, just think different things which isn’t Tommy…Jasper…there you go, think of the guy your pretty much dating but aren’t dating, what was he doing right now… Breathing out slightly I felt my thoughts get tugged away as Tommy shifted and curled himself around in to me like a cat would once they settled on your lap. Biting my lip slightly I looked down at him to see him watching the film before his eyes moved up to look at me, a slight smile tugging the corner of his lips up which I returned quickly before looking away again.   
Feeling Tommy shift again, I glanced down to see him staring at me again and I swallowed a little as he just watched me before leaning in, breathing out I turned my head a little and let my eyes close as he moved away again and I slowly opened them to see him staring at his fingernails, Brad’s and Sutan’s eyes watching me before flicking to Tommy and back again.   
‘’I…Uh…I think im going to head to bed.’’ I told them as I moved and slipped off the bed and headed out the room quickly and in to the spare one where I pushed the door shut.

.o0o.

‘’Adam, we are going to the beach, you coming?’’ Sutan yelled out through the apartment and I leaned around the doorway and held a hand up slightly.   
‘’No that was just Sutan, going to hang out at the beach today…probably Santa Monica, that’s the one we have normally gone to since I’ve been back.’’ I told Jasper, his voice cheery on the other end before I laughed slightly, ‘’Sure baby, talk to you soon’’ I told him before hanging up and quickly threw some shorts on instead of jeans and pushed a few things in to a bag before I moved out the room and headed towards Sutan.   
‘’ You are coming then’’ He joked and I shook my head a little before I followed him out of the apartment and down towards the car where Tommy and Brad was waiting. It had been two weeks since Tommy had tried to kiss me and it couldn’t have been any more awkward at first, but slowly things had been getting better. 

‘’Christ, I can’t believe I got back to college next week, it’s not fair’’ I laughed out slightly once Sutan had started driving, his eyes glancing across at me before he grinned.   
‘’Your fault for going to New York and not staying in LA baby’’ He teased and I shook my head slightly with a smile  
‘’I know, I know but New York is so amazing and hopefully if I get this apartment I’ve put my name down for I got somewhere to live after I finished college’’ I spoke out with a grin before it fell quickly as I realized what I had said, glancing over towards Sutan, I saw him looking at me before he turned his eyes back to the road again and I swallowed.  
‘’What do you mean…Aren’t you coming home after college?’’ Brad asked and I breathed out slightly before I looked in the review mirror towards him, noticing that Tommy was staring out the window, I shrugged slightly.   
‘’I don’t know, im thinking about staying up there for a few years or something, I haven’t really decided’’ I told him.   
‘’How long have you been thinking this’’ Sutan asked and I turned back to look at him before out the window again.   
‘’About a year now’’ I told him quietly as I glanced back over and he nodded.   
‘’When were you going to tell us’’ He asked again and I sighed slightly,   
‘’When I had figured out myself if I wanted to stay there or not, but I would’ve told you guys eventually.’’ I told them before Brad clapped and smiled.   
‘’Come on boy’s lets not talk about college and where we are thinking about living, lets just have fun while we still got our Adam here with us okay…god knows when he’s going to stop being such a busy bee to come see us again’’ Brad laughed and I grinned a little as Sutan turned off and towards the beach.

¤¤

‘’Who he’s talking too’’ I asked Sutan as we laid back on the towels, Tommy by the water and Adam just off slightly walking back and forth as he spoke on the phone.  
‘’Jasper Im guessing, I mean that’s the only person who calls Adam if you think about it Brad’’ Sutan told me as I pushed my glasses further up my nose  
‘’Ah, the famous Jasper, do you even know what he looks like?’’ I asked as Sutan laughed,   
‘’Nope, but knowing Adam, he will probably be small’’ Sutan told me as I grinned and turned back to watch Adam Tennis with him, seeing him pause slightly and frown before a slight smile flickered on the edge of his lips, I raised an eyebrow slightly and pushed my glasses on top of my head before looking over at Sutan who done the same.  Turning back again I saw just in time to see Adam turn around, his eyes moving over the beach before he laughed slightly and  started to walk away from us slightly before he hanged up and slipped his phone in to his pocket as he reached someone and pulled them in to his arms. ‘’And evidently blonde too’’ Sutan whispered as Tommy walked back towards us and sat down.   
‘’How’s the water?’’ Sutan asked Tommy who laughed slightly,  
‘’Cold I guess, but nothing out of the normal’’ He told him back with a slight grin, his hoody zipped half way up his bare chest and sleeves pushed up as he dug his toes in to the sand. ‘’Where’s Adam?’’ He asked and I nodded towards where he was stood with the blonde still. Looking over at the same time, I watched as Adam reached up and touched his jaw before tilting their head up and pressed his lips against his, the smaller one then pulling away and saying something which caused both of them to laugh.

‘’Anyway, who wants a drink’’ I asked as I noticed them turn to start walking towards,   
‘’Sure’’ Tommy muttered out and I glanced at him before digging in to the cooler and grabbed a beer and held it out to him and handed a drink to Sutan before sitting back with my own, my glasses back down over my eyes again as Adam and the blonde reached us.   
‘’Hey guy’s this is Jasper, he decided to come here for the last week before we head back’’ Adam told us and I looked up with a sly smile before I nodded and turned back to Tommy,   
‘’So you were saying about the Halloween movies’’ I spoke out to him as he looked up, beer half way to his mouth as he laughed and nodded slightly.   
‘’Oh yeah, the remakes are so-so you know, they are a good watch but no film is as good as the original you know…for example nightmare on Elm street…the remake…total bullshit, half of it doesn’t even make sense like the school and the visions…what the hell was they thinking’’ Tommy laughed out before taking a mouthful of his beer.   
‘’Sorry Adam…you were saying, you know who easy I can get off track and I just wanted to finish that with Tommy’’ I told him as he flicked his eyes between us and nodded slightly before he sat down and pulled Jasper down beside him,  his arm wrapped loosely around his waist.  
‘’Just saying that Jasper decided to come out here for the last week of our holiday before heading back’’ He said again and I smiled brightly before holding my hand out towards him.   
‘’Hi im Bradley aka Cheeks, this is the lovely Sutan and this is the gorgeous Tommy…don’t you think?’’ I asked him as he looked at me and then looked towards Adam as he laughed.   
‘’Sorry, I should’ve warned you, Brad can be a little over the top sometimes.’’ Adam said before I scoffed slightly.   
‘’Over the top darling, Im a fucking diva of course im over the top’’ I grinned out as I pushed my glasses up on top of my head.   
‘’Bradley behave yourself now’’ Sutan warned out and I rolled my eyes slightly before turning to look at him, my head cocked slightly to the side as I smiled innocently and gave him wide puppy dog eyes,   
‘’But baby I always behave’’ I told him as he grinned slightly and shook his head.

‘’So Jasper, how old are you’’ I asked him brightly with a smile as Adam shot an eyebrow up and I sipped at my drink again, his face confused slightly before he lent in to Adam,   
‘’Im 17 at the moment’’ He told me as I nodded ,  
‘’When’s your birthday?’’   
‘’17th of January’’ He told me and I nodded slightly,  
‘’What do you do in college?’’   
‘’Brad’’ Adam warned and I looked at him innocently.  
‘’What…Im only trying to get to know your boyfriend Adam, that’s what friends do’’ I told him before Jasper swallowed a little.   
‘’Um…boyfriend’’ He asked and I looked at him as he glanced towards Adam,   
‘’Nothing, they just keep thinking we are dating’’ Adam told him without taking his eyes of me and I smiled sweetly before standing.   
‘’Come on Tommy boy, we are going skinny dipping’’ I told him as I reached over and pulled him up before he paused and a look of shock horror spread across his face.   
‘’Wait…what?’’ he asked and I rolled my eyes slightly and laughed,  
‘’Of course we aren’t this is the beach…we will just wait till the next full moon and dance naked underneath it before swimming in the lake.’’ I laughed out as he shook his head.   
‘’I worry about you sometimes Brad I really do’’ Tommy muttered as he started to walk along the sand with me, once far enough away from them I let a deep breath out and pushed my glasses up.  
‘’Thank god, I don’t like that boy, there’s something odd about him’’ I told Tommy as we headed up towards the boardwalk and he nodded.   
‘’I agree slightly, I think it’s the way he looked at us three, it was like he didn’t trust Adam to be in the company of other males.’’ Tommy said back and I smiled a little as I felt for my wallet and felt it in my pocket still.   
‘’Well Im feeling a little guilty for leaving Sutan back there with them but he’s the one with brains and plus he knows how to be nice’’ I grinned at him.

¤¤

I still couldn’t believe that Jasper had turned up here but I was expecting Brad’s reacting to him, although I could kinder guess that not everything was the best between us and that it would’ve been better if he had stayed in Miami but a little part of me was happy.  
‘’ So what made you decide to come over to LA?’’ Sutan asked with a soft smile and I moved away from Jasper slightly to look through the cooler,   
‘’Oh, I just wanted to come surprise Adam, I mean I was kinder a jerk on the phone each time and its not fair on him that I asked him to choose so I thought I would come over to make it up to him.’’ Jasper told him as I sat back and handed him a soda, my own in my hand as I opened it with a small smile.  
‘’Fuck…’’ I cursed out slightly as I looked at him, ‘’Im staying with my parents at the moment’’ I told Jasper as he frowned slightly and looked at me and tried to puppy dog eyed me.   
‘’And what’s wrong with that?’’ He asked as I swallowed a little and looked down at my drink,  
‘’They don’t know im gay’’ I told him before raising my soda to my lips and swallowed some down as I glanced towards Sutan who was eyeing me before looking away again.  
‘’So’’ Jasper carried on and I sighed a little.   
‘’It means you will have to get a hotel, there’s no way you can stay with me at my parents without them noticing something’’ I told him as he frowned slightly,   
‘’I would offer for you to stay at mine again but my spare room has already been taking by a friend who’s travelling through,’’ Sutan spoke out and Jasper turned to look at him as I offered Sutan a smile as in a thank you.   
‘’Oh right…that kinder sucks a little, I mean I wont be able to stay the whole week maybe two or three days if im lucky, I didn’t bring all that much money’’ Jasper told me as he turned back and I nodded slightly.

‘’The boy’s are back’’ Sutan told us and I turned my head slightly as I glanced up to see Tommy saying something, a grin on his face as Brad laughed and nodded, a bag in his hand and glasses pushed up on the top of his head.  
‘’Adam’’ Jasper whispered to me and I turned back as he smiled and leaned up slightly so his lips were next to my ear, ‘’How about we go and find a nice hotel to spend the rest of the day together’’ He whispered to me, Sutan’s eyes raising slightly before I shrugged a little and looked back at him.  
‘’Actually, I was hoping to stay hanging out with the boys, I don’t know when I will get enough time off to come back home to see them again’’ I told him as he tried to pout slightly, his lips not seeing to form properly as I thought about how Tommy looked when he pouted, his lips looking so kissable before I shook the thought away as Jasper shrugged and leaned in to me more as I leaned back in to the sand.   
‘’So what have you been spending on now?’’ I asked Brad as they reached us and sat down again, still laughing.   
‘’Oh brought Tommy a little present’’ Brad spoke out, ‘’Now just trying to get him to model them for me’’ He teased as Tommy laughed brightly again.   
‘’Which is never going to happen Cheek’s, the day you get me in to drag is the day I stop playing music’’ He laughed out as I grinned before Jasper turned slightly, his lips moving against my neck before I pulled away slightly and looked at him as he smiled softly.  
‘’Stop it’’ I whispered to him before it quickly disappeared and he sighed slightly,   
‘’Im going to go find a hotel, I’ll call you later’’ Jasper told me before pressing a kiss to my cheek and stood again, watching him walk away, I groaned slightly before picking my drink up and swallowed some down.  
‘’Thought he would be staying with you and your parents’’ Brad spoke out as I shrugged slightly,   
‘’they don’t know Adam’s gay’’ Sutan spoke out with a smile   
‘’But they do and have known since you were 14 and caught us making out’’ Brad spoke as I laughed softly.   
‘’Told him that they didn’t know so he wouldn’t stay with me…plus mom and dad don’t know about Jasper.’’ I admitted, my eyes glancing towards Sutan as I felt Tommy’s stare on me.   
‘’Sneaky Adam…I like it’’ Brad spoke out before I smiled a little and looked away.

.o0o.

‘’Remember to eat and take breaks in your studying’’ mom told me and I laughed slightly before hugging her.   
‘’Mom,  I know you had this talk when I first left for college and the last time I came home, I will be fine okay’’ I told her as she kissed my cheek and looked at me,   
‘’My baby is growing up to fast’’ She laughed out as I grinned softly.  
‘’Im still going to be me’’ I told her before dad walked over and hugged me quickly again and started to lead mom away from me slightly as I turned back to Sutan with a smile before he opened his arms, walking towards him, I hugged him quickly as he kissed my cheek.  
‘’Try to take it easy and talk to us often honey, just to let us know that you are still alive’’ Sutan told me as I pulled away from him with a laugh,   
‘’Okay guys, you know im only going back to college again, im not going away for good you know, this isn’t the last time you are going to see Adam Lambert’’ I spoke out which caused them all to laugh.   
‘’He’s right you know, all the others might of left us and we haven’t spoken to them in a long time, but our friendships are still going strong and nothing is going to break them, even distance’’ brad spoke out as he walked over and hugged me quickly.  ‘’Even if Adam does have all the cute boys up in New York with him’’ He laughed as I pushed him away playfully.

Turning slightly to look at the information boards, I breathed out a little before turning back again and met Sutan’s eyes before he shook his head and offered me a sad smile.  
‘’Come on, you need to get going before the plane leaves without you darling’’ He told me as I nodded again and kissed my parents goodbye again, walking through the airport with Sutan and Brad slightly, I reached the gate before I stopped and turned to face them both again  
‘’Really, thank you guys so much for everything you have done these past four weeks, they have been amazing’’ I told them as they both smiled towards me.   
‘’Honey, it was just amazing to have you home again, even with Jasper glaring at us each time we even went near you’’ Brad laughed out as I grinned  
‘’Yeah, Im sorry about him, I really am, I didn’t think he would turn out like that but once back in New York im going to talk to him about things and about whats going on’’ I shrugged as they smiled again and quickly pulled me in to another hug as my flight was called.   
‘’Just relax and take things easy, we will speak soon okay’’ Sutan told me as he kissed my cheek and I picked my messenger bag up again as I pulled away.   
‘’Missing you guys already’’ I told them before Brad slapped my arm and pushed me towards the lady at the counter.   
‘’Just go already you jerk before you make me cry again’’ He told me as I laughed and handed my ticket and passport over to the lady.   
‘’Boyfriend’’ she asked and I looked at her before laughing and shook my head,   
‘’Ex, but just really good friends now…well he’s the overly emotional one’’ I grinned out before I heard brad huff and I turned to look towards him.   
‘’If kidnapping wasn’t illegal, I wouldn’t be letting you go back to college Adam’’ Brad spoke out before I laughed and turned back to the lady as she handed my things back.   
‘’Have a good flight’’ She told me as I nodded and waved bye to the others  and started to walk down the long hall before I got on to the plane and found my seat, storing my bag over head I settled down with a soft breath before resting my head back against the seat.

¤¤

‘’He made it’’ Brad whispered to me before I felt his elbow nudge me and I turned away from the door to see Tommy walking towards us, his eyes on us before the flickered back to where the door was shut to the gate and he swallowed slightly. Walking closer to him, his brown eyes came back to us before I shook my head slightly,  
‘’You just missed him’’ I told him softly as he swallowed again and nodded, watching as he stepped away slightly and ran his hands through his hair, I breathed out and pulled him in to my arms and soothed a hand over the back of his neck, ‘’It’s going to be okay Tommy, Adam will come home again’’ I whispered in to his ear as he relaxed in to me slightly and we turned away from the gate and away from the large windows as the plane was starting to move away from the terminal. ‘’He will always come home.’’ I whispered.


	3. *Six years ago* - San Francisco

’Sutan…I thought you would’ve already be gone by now to get Adam from the airport’’ I spoke out through a yawn as I headed across the lounge and in to the kitchen, picking up the coffee pot, I poured myself a cup before heading in to the lounge and sat on the armchair across from him.  
‘’I don’t have to anymore’’ Sutan told me softly before he placed the phone down on the table in front of him and moved back again as I frowned,  
‘’What do you mean?’’ I asked before taking a sip of my coffee,  
‘’Adam’s not coming home again, he phoned me last night while you were asleep, said that he couldn’t make it because he had a paper due which he needed to do.’’ Sutan spoke as I swallowed and nodded slightly, my eyes down on my cup before I placed it down and curled up slightly.   
‘’We just have to face it, Adam doesn’t want to come home any more, he’s too busy in New York’’ Sutan spoke out before standing  
‘’He will, you said it yourself Sutan, Adam will always come home’’ I told him before he laughed softly and shook his head, watching as he walked over, I moved slightly as he slipped in to the chair with me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.   
‘’Honey, the last time Adam came home was the second time he came home and that was four years ago, his parents have gone out to New York, we have even gone twice but he hasn’t been home in four years and we haven’t seen him in two. ‘’ Sutan said softly, ‘’He has his apartment there, his friends and work’’ I shook my head slightly before I turned and looked at Sutan.   
‘’He will come home Sutan, this is Adam we are talking about’’ I spoke before getting up, feeling Sutan grab my wrist, I winched slightly before I turned back to look at him to see him staring at me with a frown. ‘’What’’ I asked before his fingers reached out and he pushed my top up a little to show the bruise on my side.   
‘’How did that happen’’ He asked and I laughed softly,   
‘’Remember the other day I was jumping around?’’ I asked before he nodded and I grinned again, ‘’Well I misjudged my footing and fell in to my units when I jumped off my bed’’ I told him as he nodded a little and shook his head.   
‘’You are an idiot Tommy Joe’’ He laughed out before letting me go, picking my coffee up, I winked at him.   
‘’You know me Sutan, I can be quite clumsy’’ I laughed out before I turned and started to head back down towards my room, my heart crashing against my chest before I shut my bedroom door and let a deep breath out.

.o0o. **New York**.o0o.

‘’Adam, you are there! Looking everywhere for you’’ Turning I looked towards Nikolai as he walked closer and smiled.   
‘’Hey’’ I spoke back before I pushed my chair out slightly as he walked closer, wrapping my arm around his waist, I pulled him down on to my lap before lightly pressing my lips to his.   
‘’I thought you were flying back to LA today?’’ He asked before I shrugged and sighed a little,  
‘’I was but then I remember had this paper plus I have a meeting later tomorrow which I can’t miss so guess im staying in New York for another year again’’ I told him as he frowned a little and wrapped his arms around my neck softly.  
‘’You work to hard Lambert, more breaks’’ Nikolai told me as I smiled and pulled him closer to me with a soft breath,  
‘’More breaks says the Russian…I think I could do that’’ I winked at him as he laughed and shook his head before pressing a kiss to the center of my forehead.  
‘’This Russian, no can do. Class in ten minutes’’ He told me before I groaned and buried my face in to his neck.   
‘’You kill me Nikolai’’ I mumbled out to him as he ran fingers through my hair and chuckled softly.   
‘’In good ways Adam, but I need to go’’ He told me before I nodded and pulled away slightly to look at him, kissing him back just as softly, I pulled him a little closer before he pushed away and laughed lightly, ‘’I see you later at home, I love you’’ He told me as I nodded, letting him up,   
‘’Love you too’’ I smiled softly before watching as he left again and I turned back to my work.

¤¤

‘’Im upset that you haven’t come home again, honey we are really missing you’’ Brad’s voice came through the screen as I grinned slightly and walked back over to where my laptop was sat on the desk, a cup in my hand as I yawned and sat down again.  
‘’I know, I know, but at least im still talking to you on Skype’’ I told him before there was a door opening and closing.   
‘’Is that Adam?’’ Sutan’s voice rang through before his image appeared on the screen with a slight glare,   
‘’Please don’t start, Brad just told me off for staying’’ I spoke out as I sipped at my drink and then placed it down again with a slight grin.   
‘’Okay, I will take it easy on you but what is going on boy?’’ He asked as I sighed and held books and bits of paper up to the camera,  
‘’Paper due in a few days which I had forgotten about with the mayhem of work and other classes, Im just swamped since I took this English course so I could do the next level in music, and I have a meeting with a few teachers tomorrow afternoon to discuss the lateness of my work in some classes’’ I spoke out with a slight groan, ‘’Oh man you guys are fuckers, don’t you fucking dare get ice cream out in front of me’’ I moaned at the screen slightly as both Sutan and Brad laughed but done it anyway.

‘’You cannot say that you don’t have Ice cream or at least one bottle of alcohol in that apartment of yours Adam’’ Sutan spoke out before I frowned slightly and looked towards the kitchen,   
‘’Ah…go get it you loser’’ Brad yipped out with a laugh before I grinned and pushed away, leaning down again I held a hand up to the camera,  
‘’Stay right there’’ I told them before I walked to the kitchen and started to look through the bottles before I realized that most of them were Nikolai’s. Shrugging slightly as I looked at the label, I guessed that it was whiskey before placing it on the side as I went to the freezer and found a tub of vanilla ice cream, looking at it I grinned to myself before pushing it back in again and grabbed the strawberry before a spoon and headed back to my desk again. ‘’You do realize that I should be studying and writing my paper here’’ I told them,   
‘’Well you can still kinder do it while we cheer you up or try too from another state and you eat and drink’’ Sutan spoke out with a wink which left me laughing before I picked the bottle up and opened it for a mouthful.   
‘’Shit that’s strong’’ I laughed out before looking at the label again before placing it down on the table.   
‘’So fill us in Mr. Lambert, what is going on in New York?’’ Brad asked as I pulled one of my books closer and glanced over it.   
‘’Not all that much actually, I spend most of my time either here studying, in classes or at work’’ I spoke out before raising my eyes to look up at the camera again, ‘’If you are wanting to know what the nightlife is, honey your going to have to come out here yourself and take a dip because I haven’t explored that area yet apart from a few local bars’’ I told them before they rolled their eyes and Sutan glanced off camera.   
‘’My god Adam you need to take breaks at some point’’ Brad gasped out as I laughed and shrugged a little, writing a few things down, I frowned slightly before I pushed it away and grabbed the ice cream and dug in slightly.  
‘’Fuck that, anyway what is going on your end of the world?’’ I asked with a grin before spooning some ice cream in to my mouth.   
‘’Well to start with, I’ve managed to set up my own shop’’ Brad spoke out with a smirk. ‘’Cheek’s boutique’’ He laughed before Sutan slapped his arm,   
‘’Yeah in his own bedroom the little whore’’ He spoke out as I laughed,   
‘’What, im not in a relationship so why not sleep around a little until I find the person I want to be with’’ Brad asked Sutan who in turn just rolled his eyes,  
‘’Honey…’’I trailed off as I took another mouthful of whiskey, ‘’You are never going to settle for just one man love, I don’t think anyone would stick with you as long as I did with your temper and energy’’ I told him as he shrugged and sucked ice cream of the spoon.  
‘’Adam, there’s someone out there for everyone…isn’t that right Tommy’’ Brad spoke out before leaning backwards to look towards Tommy as he walked out from the hallway, his face slightly confused before he nodded and headed in to the kitchen again.

‘’Everything okay?’’ I asked before Brad leaned back and nodded quickly, ‘’so other than just being the normal whorish self Brad, what else is actually going on?’’ I asked as I he smiled,  
‘’I’ve managed to get a job with make up for a few gigs which is coming up soon, a few bands here and there’’ Sutan spoke out, ‘’No one big or anything but also for some photo shoots too,’’ Grinning a little I nodded,  
‘’That’s awesome Sut, I actually miss all the times I used to sit there letting you practice, I guess it turned out good’’ I laughed as he nodded, ‘’How’s Austin?’’ I asked and Sutan smiled widely,   
‘’He’s great actually, that’s where I just came from, he dropped me home’’ He told me as I nodded,   
‘’yeah as someone never came home last night’’ Tommy called out and Sutan turned to look towards him with a smirk. Laughing softly I turned a little as I heard a buzz of the lower door being opened with the apartment key and smiled before I turned back,  
‘’Ooooo spill Lambert, you have that grin on your face.’’ Sutan and Brad both said at the same time as I grinned slightly and shrugged.   
‘’It’s nothing’’ I smiled out at them before I got a glare,   
‘’Adam…don’t make us fly out there to beat it out of you.’’ Brad spoke and I laughed slightly,   
‘’Fine, it’s just someone coming home’’ I grinned out at them before eyebrows rose,   
‘’that isn’t just someone Adam, what’s his name and how long have you had a boyfriend for you asshole’’ Brad asked and I laughed.   
‘’I’ve been with him for six months now’’ I shrugged out before they gasped,   
‘’you have had a boyfriend for six months and you never told us until now…Adam im ashamed of you boy’’ Sutan spoke out as I laughed again and the lock of the apartment was turned and the door opened.   
‘’Adam, im home’’ Hearing his voice I grinned a little before pushing away on the chair and leaned a little towards the door as a bag was dropped down.  
‘’In the study Nikolai’’ I called back before moving closer again as I spooned another mouthful of ice cream in to my mouth.   
‘’Nikolai…doesn’t sound American’’ Sutan said quietly and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’He’s Russian’’ I told him before footsteps came through the hallway, picking the bottle up I took a small mouthful before turning my head towards the doorway as I heard a soft laugh, ‘’Hey baby’’ I called out before he walked over with a smile.  
‘’Hey yourself…ah taken a break, good’’ He told me before leaning down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before pulling away again as an aww sounded out and I glared at the computer screen.  
‘’Isn’t it time for you to go and do something else anyway instead of making me eat ice cream?’’ I asked before Brad laughed and leaned forward, his chin resting in his hands as he smirked.   
‘’Nope, got all night’’ He laughed as I shook my head slightly.   
‘’Brad and…Sutan right…your friends from LA?’’ Nikolai asked and I nodded with a smile,   
‘’Hey that isn’t fair, he knew about us and we didn’t know about the cute guy’’ Brad gasped out before I laughed.   
‘’That’s because I know what you are like cheek’s’’ I spoke out as I curled my arm around Nikolai’s waist softly, ‘’Anyway, must get going, got work to do’’ I told them before I notice Tommy turn and quickly leave the kitchen,   
‘’No you are just leaving so you can get a piece of that gorgeous boy at your side’’ Sutan teased and I looked up at Nikolai as he laughed.   
‘’Well can you blame me?’’ I asked with a smirk as I stood and grabbed the bottle, ‘’But will talk to your guys soon again, love you all and don’t forget to have lunch with my parents soon, they miss you both’’ I reminded them as they nodded,   
‘’Bye gorgeous’’ Sutan called out before I waved and signed out.

Turning to face him, I smiled softly before leaning closer and pressed my lips against his deeply before pulling away again with a soft smile.   
‘’How about, I go put the ice cream away and the whiskey and we catch up on each other’s day in the bathroom?’’ He asked softly before I smirked a little and caught his lower lip again,  
‘’Sounds like a good plan baby’’ I whispered to him as I handed it over, laughing as he swatted at my ass, I walked out the study and headed down to the bathroom where I turned the shower on and started to undress.

.o0o. **San Francisco**.o0o. 

‘’Do you think he is okay Sutan?’’ I asked him as I glanced towards the hallway and then back at the computer screen where it was now blank.   
‘’Im sure he is, I mean he is with Drake now and he hasn’t mentioned anything about his crush on Adam since the day he left and he turned up late’’ Sutan spoke back as I nodded a little and signed out of Skype and closed the computer down.  
‘’Well lets go finish this lot off with him’’ I grinned out before I grabbed the ice cream and moved down the hallway and to Tommy’s room where I walked in and over to his bed as he turned away from the film he was watching to look at us,  
‘’Got a spoon?’’ He asked before I held it out and he smiled, ‘’Thanks’’ Laughing softly, I pulled Tommy in to my side as he ate some and Sutan sat on the other side of him,  ‘’So I guess things with Jasper never worked out then if he has been with Nikolai for six months now’’ Sutan spoke out before I shot a look over at him and down at Tommy who yawned against me slightly,  
‘’Well at least he seems happy now’’ Tommy mumbled out as I rolled my eyes slightly.   
‘’And Sutan is happy with Austin as you are happy with Drake…which by the way was so my fault for introducing you guys, he was hot’’ I spoke before Tommy laughed and nudged my side with his shoulder.   
‘’Sorry, but im glad you don’t have him’’ He told me before I kissed his head and shuffled down the bed slightly as we turned and carried on watching his film.

¤¤

I had meant what I told Brad, I was glad that he wasn’t with Drake and I never wanted him to be with anyone like him, brad deserved better even if he did sleep around a lot, I knew that he was smart enough not to be stupid and that’s what had mattered the most with him, seeing Adam on cam was strange again, the same crush I had thought had left was still there, buried deep within the back of my mind which I was still trying to close doors on but hearing about his boyfriend forced that door open again and I felt like shit.  
‘’Earth to Tommy’’ Jumping slightly I turned and looked at Sutan wide eyed before he laughed and I calmed down slightly,   
‘’Sorry was just thinking’’ I told him as he nodded and rubbed my arm gently,   
‘’So we could see, but I was just going to tell you that your film is over’’ he spoke out before I turned towards the TV and laughed slightly,   
‘’Right yeah, you pick the next one, im too comfortable against Brad’’ I grinned before snuggling closer as they both laughed.  
‘’Your such a cuddle slut Tommy’’ Brad muttered to me as he curled his arm around my side tighter and I bit my lower lip to stop the small winch from escaping as I moved a arm around his waist tighter.

Settling down again with a new film, I pushed the empty ice cream carton to the bottom of my bed with my foot before stealing the bottle of Jack from Sutan’s side of the bed before swallowing some down and moved back in between then again, the warmth a good feeling before I handed the bottle back to him again and let myself be hugged from either side before I felt myself starting to fall asleep.   
‘’Tommy’’ Sutan’s voice was soft again as he nudged me before something warm was pulled up over me and I turned over and curled around one of my pillows, ‘’Night baby’’ Sutan whispered again before kissing the top of the head as I mumbled out a goodnight and let sleep take over again.

.o0o. **New York**.o0o.

‘’You are crazy’’ Nikolai whispered to me as I laughed and wrapped my arms around him tightly before pulling him closer, my eyes watching his brown ones before I smiled softly.  
‘’Not as crazy as you are babe’’ I told him as I let him go and moved my hands up to the tie which was hanging loose around his neck, fixing it up for him, I grabbed it softly and pulled him in to a soft kiss before stepping away again with a smile.  
‘’I wish you could come tonight’’ He told me before I shrugged softly.   
‘’Tonight is your night with your parents, it’s not every day I can say that my boyfriend if going for dinner with the ambassador of Russia, now is it’’ I told him with a smile as he laughed.   
‘’That is true, but not every day I get to be so lucky with a man like you’’ Nikolai told me back before I laughed,   
‘’That’s lies, the moment I first saw you I wanted to be with you’’ I grinned at him as I brushed my hands over his shoulders and turned to pick his jacket up and helped him in to it. ‘’So im the lucky one to have such an amazing boyfriend’’ I told him as he turned and I smiled at softly. ‘’You look amazing Nikolai’’ I told him honestly as he smiled.   
‘’Thank you Adam’’ He told me before pulling me closer, his lips touching against mine as the door went and we both groaned slightly, ‘’that will be my parents driver’’ He whispered as I nodded, kissing him quickly, I took his hand and led him out the bedroom and towards the apartment door before I paused and let myself take in the way he looked once more.   
‘’Amazing, truly amazing but you have a wonderful night tonight’’ I told him as he nodded,   
‘’And you, no studying too hard and remember to give yourself plenty of breaks’’ He told me before pulling the door open to two large men, kissing his cheek lightly he smiled and I watched as he walked downstairs with the men until they were out my view.

Pushing the door closed again, I stretched a little before sighing and looked around the apartment, and my things were thrown about everywhere, books on any surface and other little things, moving around, I started to tidy up before I finally sat down on the couch and yawned a little, my hands reaching for my laptop before I pulled it forward and logged on to my college’s website to grab some work from the system. Working for a few hours, I rubbed at my eyes to see that it was getting late and I hadn’t eaten.  
Walking in to the kitchen I paused slightly before turning towards the take away menus which was pinned to the board and looked through them before grabbing the phone and ordered myself some dinner in and returned to my laptop where I signed in to Skype.

Seeing a call turn up, I pressed answer as I yawned again and covered my mouth with my hand as Sutan’s face appeared on the screen.  
‘’Im surprised you are still up but then I thought about it and thought that you are probably studying’’ He spoke out as I laughed,   
‘’No, taken a break for the moment’’ I told him as he nodded,   
‘’Where’s Nikolai?’’ He asked and I smiled softly,  
‘’He’s still out, went for dinner with his parents and some people from Russia’’ I told him as he nodded to himself,   
‘’And you got left behind, he could’ve invited you honey’’ He spoke and I laughed softly,   
‘’I don’t mind, it was dinner with his parents and some important people, I wouldn’t be any good there as I can’t speak Russian and that would be what they were talking in’’ I told him as he nodded, ‘’So you are stuck with me’’ I grinned out as he laughed softly, ‘’Where’s the other two?’’ I asked and Sutan glanced behind him before smiling.   
‘’Tommy’s asleep and Brad went home for once as he has a date tonight’’ He laughed out as I grinned,   
‘’Well that’s good for him,’’ I spoke before sitting back slightly as another yawn escaped and I rubbed the back of my neck.   
‘’How is your paper getting on?’’ Sutan asked and I groaned slightly,   
‘’Difficult at the moment, it’s always the start which I have trouble with, but im getting there’’ I told him honestly as he nodded.  ‘’I really am sorry for not coming home again, I know I haven’t been home in a long time but it’s hard to get time off work and with the extra classes, I need the work all I can get so I can pay the rent on this place’’ I told him softly.  
‘’Adam, it’s okay, your parents understand and so do I, when I got enough money I will come out to see you again but not sure when that will be’’ Sutan told me as I nodded, hearing the buzzer on the door I moved slightly and placed the laptop on the table as I grabbed my wallet.  
‘’Be right back, dinner just turned up’’ I laughed out before I climbed over the back of the couch and walked over to the door where I pulled it open, taking the food, I handed the money over and got my change before shutting the door again and wondered in to the kitchen to grab a fork before returning to the couch again. ‘’you don’t mind do you?’’ I asked as I held it up and he laughed.   
‘’Of course not honey’’ He told me as I smiled and started to eat.

‘’so how is everything actually going there other then the apartment and classes and Nikolai?’’ Sutan asked before I swallowed some rice down,   
‘’Most of it is great, sure sometimes you get some church goers preaching that being gay is a sin and that we are all going to hell, should’ve seen their faces when I told them that I was Jewish, it shut some up and I swear a few others nearly had a heart attack’’ I laughed out softly.   
‘’oh dear, but im guessing that you will have people like that where ever you may go in the world honey, it’s a part of life which needs to be sorted out and accepted but its still going to be a sin towards a lot of people’’ Sutan spoke as I nodded.  
‘’I know and im used to it now, but it can still put a downer on the day you know’’ I told him as he smiled and glanced away.   
‘’Hold on Adam, there’s someone at the door,’’ Nodding, I looked up as Sutan stood and headed out of view before there was quit voices and a guy walked past and down the hallway before Sutan came back and sat down again,   
‘’Who was that?’’ I asked before he smiled lightly,  
‘’Drake…you know we went school with him, but you didn’t talk to him much’’ Sutan spoke out as I nodded, ‘’Anyway, Brad introduced him to Tommy a few weeks ago and they started dating, seems to be quite well at the moment which is good, I don’t think Tommy has actually had a relationship since Kyle’’ He said as I nodded and my apartment door opened  and Nikolai came in grumbling in Russian before he looked up and noticed, a blush forming over his face as he smiled slightly.  
‘’Sorry, didn’t realize you were talking’’ He told me before I chuckled softly,   
‘’its fine baby, just talking to Sutan and catching up on things, how was dinner?’’ I asked before he started to go on in Russian again and I just stared at him. ‘’Baby English remember’’ I told him as he blushed brightly again. 

Watching as he waved slightly to Sutan before walking through and towards the bedroom, I frowned slightly before turning back, ‘’Do you want me to go?’’ Sutan asked before I shook my head,   
‘’No it will be okay, im sure he’s just gone to get changed.’’ I told him before pushing the rest of my dinner on to the table from what I couldn’t eat.   
‘’Okay, so yeah Drake and Tommy are now dating and have been for about four weeks now or something, I can’t remember, Brad is out on a date with god knows who this time and Austin is looking after himself at home because he isn’t feeling too well now.’’ Sutan spoke out as I laughed and nodded.   
‘’Well I hope he feels better soon’’ I told him as he nodded, seeing Drake walk back out from the hallway again before heading towards the door, I frowned slightly before Sutan shrugged.   
‘’I did tell him that Tommy was asleep’’ Sutan muttered out as the door shut behind him and he turned back to the screen again with a roll of the eyes. 

Looking up as footsteps entered the room, I smiled at Nikolai again before he came over and sat next to me on the couch and I moved my arm around his shoulders softly.   
‘’Good evening Sutan’’ He spoke out before Sutan smiled,   
‘’Good evening to you too, please any time you want to steal your boyfriend back just tell me and I will leave’’ He laughed out which brought a smile to Nikolai’s face before he shook his head.   
‘’No, its okay, he’s your friend too, please keep talking with each other, I will no doubt sleep soon as it’s been a long night’’ He spoke as Sutan smiled and nodded again.   
‘’Why don’t I remember Drake if we all went school together?’’ I asked Sutan as he laughed slightly,   
‘’That’s because you were always too busy watching Tommy or doing school work’’ Sutan grinned out as I laughed slightly,  
‘’That was not always the case Sut, I would do a lot of other things too’’ I told him as he laughed,  
‘’Like what?’’   
‘’Umm…like help you with the makeup stuff behind the scenes in theater when I should’ve been making sure I knew my lines….umm…drinking and eating ice cream while cuddled in bed whenever someone was upset…wait that wasn’t in school’’ I trailed off slightly before laughing.  
‘’So that’s where the ice cream and whiskey comes from’’ Nikolai said softly and I laughed slightly before nodding.   
‘’Yeah, it was this great invention which Sutan and Brad came up with one day’’ I told him,   
‘’actually it was more Brad then anything, I just happened to have ice cream in my hands at the time’’ Sutan shrugged out on the screen as we all laughed.   
‘’Anyway sweetie, im going to let you boys go, I know its late there and im sure you want to talk about your evening or what else’’ Sutan smirked out a little as I laughed, ‘’So goodnight’’   
‘’Night Sut’’ I spoke out before the screen went blank, signing out and closing my laptop down, I pushed it further on to the table again before I turned to look at Nikolai as he smiled at me.   
‘’ I had never been so bored in my life before at dinner’’ He whined as I laughed softly and turned a little so I could trace my hand along his jaw before down to his neck. ‘’all I could think about was you and coming home to you’’ He mumbled before leaning forward and pressed his lips to mine as we both laid back on the couch again. ‘’But now, I sleep, too tired for anything else’’ He yawned out as he pulled away and tucked himself under my arm, smiling softly, I pulled him closer and let my own eyes close as we laid there together.  
‘’Goodnight Nikolai’’ I whispered to him as he shifted and curled his arm around my body.


	4. *Two years and two days ago* - Burbank

‘’Shit what happened to you?’’ Looking up, I shrugged slightly,  
‘’Got in to a fight’’ I muttered out as I walked back in to the apartment again and let Sutan close the door,  
‘’Tommy’’ He pointed out and I sighed a little as I brought a hand up against the side of my face where I knew the bruise was.  
‘’Honestly Sutan, I got in to a fight last night at the bar I went too, its nothing, just drunken mistakes’’ I told him, hoping that he would drop it enough as I dropped down in to the arm chair carefully,  
‘’Where’s Drake?’’ Sutan asked and I shrugged slightly,   
‘’Not sure, he went out this morning, think he said something about work not sure was still half asleep when he told me’’ I lied to him, noticing his eyebrow raise slightly, I swallowed before he nodded  
‘’Alright if you say so, but baby you look a mess have you showered?’’  he asked and I rolled my eyes slightly and grinned as I nodded to him, ‘’good, I did come over to see if you wanted to go out shopping or lunch but I can see that you wouldn’t want to’’ Sutan spoke out and I gave a slight nod before I stood and followed him out in to the kitchen again.   
‘’Thought right, the fucker got a good hit in to my sides and knocked me off my feet’’ I chuckled dryly as I leaned against the kitchen units as he started to make coffee, ‘’Sutan you do know that I live here and I should be the one making you coffee as my guest’’  
‘’Yeah but I don’t care’’ Sutan told me and I rolled my eyes slightly before I glanced around the lounge to see the mess, moving away from the counter again, I headed back over and started to clean up knowing that if had to be done before Drake turned up again. Winching slightly as I caught my side on the unit, I bit my lip and pushed the drawer closed fully as Sutan walked in with the drinks. ‘’So how are you and Drake?’’ He asked and I looked up at him as I took the cup from him and sat down in the arm chair.   
‘’We are great’’ I lied to him as I took a sip from my drink.   
‘’I still can’t believe you are together’’ Hearing him, I turned slightly panicked.   
‘’Why would you say that, Drake loves me and I love him’’ I quickly told him and I watched as Sutan rose an eyebrow at me slightly,  
‘’I know you do honey, I just mean you have been together for a few years now and its strange seeing you with someone for that long’’ He chuckled softly before sitting down, letting a small breath out as I put the cup down on the table again, I turned back and started to carry on with straightening everything out until it was in its right place.  
‘’Oh right, I didn’t think of it like that’’ I told Sutan quietly as I pushed some magazines in to the cupboard,  
‘’Forget cleaning Tommy, I know you and your messy way’’ Sutan laughed and I looked up at him and then around the room before I worked out that I could finish it all off before Drake got home tonight, nodding slightly I sat back down in the armchair again, my coffee in my hands as I slowly sat back and let myself melt in to the softness of the chair.

‘’Have you heard anything about Adam?’’ I asked him softly after a while of silence before he nodded slowly and sighed.   
‘’Apparently, he isn’t living in New York anymore, hasn’t for about a year and half but he is still with Nikolai, at one point he did go back home to Russia, so I don’t know if Adam went with him or not or stayed over here in the states, but that last bit was just second hand news so I don’t know what’s true.’’ He shrugged out and I frowned slightly.   
‘’Is that all?’’ I asked, my bottom lip caught between my teeth slightly before I let it go again.   
‘’Sadly yes, even Brad hasn’t heard anything from him over the past few years since he came home and then was he was voted of Idol’’ Sutan said and I nodded slightly before I sighed.   
‘’It’s like he has just vanished from the face of the earth’’ I muttered, my eyes on my coffee cup.   
‘’Sadly I have to agree with you honey, the last time Leila had heard from him was at Christmas’’ Sutan told me and I looked up at him quickly.   
‘’Why do you think he has been doing this? I mean he did promise you guys that he would keep in contact and visit whenever he got the chance too’’ I spoke out as Sutan shrugged slightly and looked at me sadly.   
‘’I don’t know Tommy, I guess times have changed, we’ve grown up, no longer those 16 year old boys stood on the bank over looking san Francisco, we are 25 now leading our own lives, in relationships and making our own way in life, it isn’t much we can do now.’’ Sutan told me and I glanced down at my drink again as I nodded.   
‘’I just miss the old times’’ I whispered as I slowly looked up at him again and he frowned before it feel in to a smile.   
‘’You mean, you miss seeing Adam’’ He smirked and I chuckled softly before the key in the door made me turn and look towards the door.

Watching as it opened and Drake walked in, I glanced over at Sutan before swallowing slightly as he looked up at Drake,   
‘’Oh hi…I didn’t expect anyone here’’ Drake said towards Sutan, his eyes flashing over towards me briefly before back again, my heart beating against my chest getting faster.  
‘’It’s fine, I have to go actually, just popped around  to see our Tommy boy’’ Sutan chuckled as he stood and I slowly raised to my feet, my cup clutched in my hands tightly as Drake nodded and walked towards the kitchen, his bag on the floor by the door as I walked over with Sutan.  
‘’Remember call me sometime sweetie so we can have lunch together, I wont just drop by unannounced like I did today’’ He smiled as his hands went to my shoulders and he pecked my cheek.   
‘’Of course’’ I told him softly with a smile,  
‘’And remember, no more fighting when you go out drinking okay’’ He smirked before turning to look towards Drake who had walked back, ‘’and you look after my baby, don’t let him get hurt by any more crazy drunks’’ Sutan told him as Drake laughed freely with a smile as I felt my breath catch in my throat, the thought of Drake doing what Sutan said only a brief flicker before it was gone again.  
‘’Of course I will Sutan, with me around, Tommy isn’t going to get hurt again’’ Drake said and I felt myself tense up slightly before I forced myself to relax again as Sutan turned back around to look at me.  
‘’Alright, I need to get going now, but come around sometime baby, the apartment is too quiet without you living with me anymore’’ He laughed before kissing my cheek as I nodded.   
‘’I’ll ring you soon’’ I told him lightly as I stepped back slightly, my hand letting go my death grip on my cup and started to open the door, pausing only when I felt Sutan’s hand on my chin turning my head to look at him again.  
‘’You’re pretty Tommy, so stop getting that face beat up honey’’ He told me and I nodded slightly, a fake smile on my face as he kissed my bruise cheek before leaving again.

Closing the door slowly, I closed my eyes before I felt the movement of Drake getting closer behind me before his breath was on the back of my neck and then his lips pressing soft kisses against my skin as he wrapped his arms around me softly.  
‘’What was he doing here Tommy?’’ Drake whispered in to my ear and I swallowed slightly,   
‘’He just tuned up, I wasn’t expecting anyone I promise’’ I whispered back to him as the door clicked in to place, ‘’he…he wanted to see if I wanted to go for lunch but then he saw my face’’ I whispered out again as I felt Drake nod.   
‘’And what was this about fighting and drinking? ‘’ He asked his voice soft as his hand stroked over my stomach lightly.   
‘’I panicked…told him I got drunk last night and got in to a fight’’ I told him quickly as he pressed another kiss to my neck and I closed my eyes.   
‘’Okay, im going to make us something for dinner okay’’ He told me sweetly and I opened my eyes slowly and turned to see him smiling at me as I nodded, kissing him back lightly, I let him turn my body in his before I felt him press me back against the door, his thigh slipping between my thighs as I let my free hand lightly touch his arm which was against my waist. ‘’love you’’ He murmured against my lips before pulling away with a kind smile,  
‘’I love you too’’ I told him softly as he nodded and started to walk away, leaving me leaning against the door staring after him in shock slightly at how nice he was being still.   
Pushing away, I picked his bag up and moved it under the table where it belonged before I walked back in to the lounge again and put my drink down on the table as I started to move back around the room again, finishing the tiding up I stood and picked my coffee back up and took a small sip before frowning at the coldness of it and started to walk in to the kitchen when I felt myself being knocked to the floor, my elbow and side connecting with the counter before I landed with a small groan, my arm curling around my waist as I coughed slightly as pain shot up through my arm.  
‘’Baby what happened’’ Drake’s voice came out from the kitchen before his footsteps came closer.   
‘’Nothing just fell…tripped over my shoes’’ I breathed out as he helped me to sit up and brushed his hand through my hair before gripping it tightly, his hand dragging my head back as I winched at the sudden movement.  
‘’Didn’t I tell you to clean this place up?’’ He sneered and I breathed out slightly knowing that his niceness couldn’t have lasted for a long time, but yet again I had got my hopes up, just hoping that it would last longer.  
‘’Im…im sorry’’ I breathed out as he laughed, hand letting my hair go before he stood,   
‘’Now…we have to do something about that pretty face of yours Tommy, we can’t have people asking about it now can we’’ He spoke and I swallowed slightly, ‘’they are only going to believe so many stories about drunken fights, I guess its time to stop hitting that face.’’ Hearing him, I breathed out slightly before gasping out as I felt his foot connect with the side which had connected with the counter.

Coughing slightly to myself as he walked away, I slowly pushed myself up off the floor and quickly finished tiding up again and headed in to the kitchen where I saw all the dishes which had been used as Drake cooked, moving over to the sink quickly, I started to run the water before I pushed my hands in to the hotness and started to wash up before I felt Drake slide his arms around me again, pressing slightly against my side which I bit my lip to stop myself from gasping out in pain as he kissed my shoulder.  
‘’You know I only do it because I love you, but I promise I will stop Tommy, I just had a bad dark in work that’s all baby’’ He whispered and I turned slightly to look at him with a small smile as I nodded.  
‘’I know, I love you too Drake, I really am sorry for not having everything done before you got home’’ I told him before leaning forward slightly and kissed his cheek softly before he smiled at me.   
‘’Come on leave those and come and eat with me, you can do them later’’ He told me and I glanced at him as he smiled and walked away again before back to the dishes which I had in my hands, waying up the options before I dropped them back in and slowly dried my hands off before I turned and followed him through to where the table was. ‘’drink?’’ He asked and I shook my head quickly,  
‘’No thank you, I can’t drink while on those medication’’ I told him as he eyed me up before nodding and poured himself a large drink and I swallowed slightly knowing that tonight would probably end up not going good. ‘’Im going to go and finish cleaning up, I’ll eat later Drake’’ I told him as he nodded slightly and took a large mouthful of his drink,  
‘’That’s a good idea Tommy’’ He told me, his voice cold as I nodded and quickly moved back to the kitchen where I reached up in to the cabinet and grabbed the small bottle of painkillers and shook a couple on to my hand before I swallowed them back dry, replacing the cap again and in to the cupboard, I closed the door before walking back over to the sink to finish cleaning the dishes.

Getting through them all near enough, I jumped as a loud crash came from the dining room and I swallowed deeply before I dried my hands off quickly and headed in, the plates of food were on the floor making a mess along with a few other things which I quickly dropped down and started to clean up before I felt my head get tugged back roughly, tears pushing their way to my eyes I breathed out through my nose as I swallowed slightly as Drake’s breath brushed over my cheek before his lips crashed against my lips and I could taste the beer on them before he pulled away again,  
‘’Clean this up now’’ He slurred out before letting my hair go as I nodded and turned back quickly.

**.o0o. Hollywood Hills, Los Angeles .o0o.  **

‘’Nikolai it’s my job, you know that’’ I yelled out to him as he stormed past me and upstairs again, shaking my head, I walked up behind him and in to our bedroom, ‘’they are only fans, that’s what they do, they ask for this and shit’’ I told him as I paused in the doorway as he sat on the bed staring at our half packed bags.   
‘’Yes but they don’t need to push me out the way to get to you nor do they have to shove their tongues down my boyfriends throat’’ He said back, his voice raising with each word until he was standing again and looking towards me, ‘’I can’t deal with them anymore Adam.’’  
‘’You knew what would be in store when I started idol, you knew what happened after I got voted off Nikolai, if it wasn’t for me going back to New York again,  wouldn’t go gotten my record deal, you know how much this means to me! My first album comes out in less than two weeks, I can’t go swanning off to Russia again without anyone knowing, I have interviews and meetings which I need to attend too-‘’  
‘’See this is what I mean Adam, all you think about is you, me this me that, you are 25 Adam grow up already and think of others!’’  He yelled back to me before pushing past me again as I stood there staring across the room to where the large window was overlooking the city.   
‘’I do think of others’’ I called out as I turned and looked towards the bathroom as he walked out and stared at me,  
‘’No you don’t Adam, you haven’t spoke to your parents since Christmas and god knows when you last spoke to your friends…Sutan, Brad and Tommy right?’’ He asked, voice still raised slightly before he started to mutter to himself in Russian as he moved around packing and I glared at the floor, Nikolai was sort of right, I couldn’t remember the last I spoke to anyone and Christmas had been four months ago now.  
‘’And when was the last time you spoke to anyone from New York or your own parents?’’ I yelled at him, his head snapping up to look at me.   
‘’I spoke to Charlie and Danni two days ago when they called, you were too busy staring at your laptop to even take the phone when I told you that they wanted to say hello and I spoke to my parents just this morning Adam so don’t you dare turn this on me! We have been in Los Angeles for three years now Adam and not a single person from your childhood know that’’ He yelled before he finished panicking his bag and roughly pulled the zip closed. ‘’just go back to your belovered fans and studio Adam because you don’t seem to care about anything else’’ He cursed out before going to push past me, grabbing his arm, I pulled him back again before crashing my lips against his deeply, at first he tried to pull away before I felt him melt in to the kiss and his hands pull roughly at my hair as we both moved back towards the bed.

‘’Wow…’’ Nikolai breathed out a while later as I rolled on to my side and sat up, ‘’Adam what are you doing?’’ He asked as I reached for my boxers and pulled them on before getting out of bed and gathered my clothes.   
‘’Going to the studio to talk to my manger about pushing some of my meetings around’’ I told him as he sighed and turned over in the bed so that his bare back was facing me. Sighing I knelt down on the soft bed before I leant over him with a soft smile.   
‘’What’’ He asked and I rolled my eyes slightly,  
‘’You need to let me finish me finish’’ I told him softly as I pecked his lips again,  
‘’Well what else do you possible have to say Adam’’ He asked and I chuckled softly,  
‘’Im going to the studios to see my manager to push some of my meetings and interviews around, it wont be a lot of free space but I will come to Russia with you for a few days but then I do have to come back to do my job’’ I told him softly and stared in to his eyes for a while as he stared back,  
‘’Do you mean that?’’ He asked and I nodded gently before hissing him slowly again.   
‘’So im hoping you will still be right here when I get back?’’ I asked as a slow smirk formed over his lips and he shrugged.   
‘’Well you will have to hurry back to see’’ He whispered in a low voice before catching his bottom lip between his teeth, chuckling softly , I leaned down and brushed my lips over his nose before I pushed away and found my boots.

.o0o.

‘’Nikolai, baby im home…im sorry I took so long’’ I called out as I dropped my car keys on to the hook beside the door and headed along the hallway before I moved upstairs and in to the bedroom to see him sat in bed dressed and with my laptop in front of him.  
‘’Hey Adam’’ He smiled at me as I grinned and started to shrug out my jacket.   
‘’Im sorry for the delay baby, Lane took forever to move the main meetings around with the interviews and everything else’’ I rolled my eyes slightly as he chuckled.   
‘’It’s fine baby’’ He told me as I sat down on the bench at the foot of the bed and started to pull my boots off, finished I stood and went to take a step forward before I felt my feet tangle with my boots and then the floor quickly rush up to meet me as I went flying. ‘’Adam! Oh gods, Adam are you okay?’’ Nikolai gushed out as he quickly climbed off the bed and ran over as I turned over on to my back and started laughing.   
‘’Well this seems all familiar, I think I might take you up on that idea of taking our shoes off at the door’’ I laughed as he rolled his eyes and pushed me playfully, hearing a cough I frowned slightly and pushed myself up on to my elbows as I looked around.  
‘’Im Skyping, sorry baby I should’ve said something to you’’ He told me as he helped me back up and then walked back over to the bed and climbed up.   
‘’its fine, anyone I know?’’ I asked as I watched as he chewed on his bottom lip slightly and glanced at the screen and back up again.   
‘’I would say you do pretty well’’ He told me before sliding the laptop around, taking a step closer, I froze quickly as I saw both Sutan and Brad’s faces staring back at me through the screen.

‘’Well, it’s nice to see that you are still alive Mr. Lambert’’ Brad spoke out and I glanced up at Nikolai before he shrugged, ‘’what the fuck were you thinking?’’ He asked, reaching up I swallowed slightly and rubbed the back of my neck before I moved closer to the bed again and sat down, moving the laptop slightly, I sighed.  
‘’Honey, what’s going on? You look so skinny now’’ Hearing Sutan’s voice before a huff, I glanced up at Nikolai again as he moved around to peer over my shoulder,   
‘’He works too much, that’s what’s happened’’ He told them before he turned and started to walk away.   
‘’Nikolai, please don’t start this again, I thought we sorted this out this morning?’’ I asked as he laughed.   
‘’No you just went off on one of your bitch fits which ended up in sex’’ He yelled at me and I rubbed my forehead slightly, ‘’its always the same with you now Adam, you want everything perfectly but im sorry, life isn’t perfect’’ Shaking my head slightly as he got up and walked out, I quickly followed him.  
‘’Nikolai, what else do you want me to do, I’ve just pushed around important meetings just so I can got to Russia with you for a few days, you knew what our life would be once I took that deal and you were perfectly find with it years ago’’ I yelled back as I walked in to the hallway and he turned before walking back to me and raised his hand.  
Staggering back, I stared at him as he stared at me, his hand still half raised from where he had slapped me before I reached up and lightly touched my cheek, watching as he turned and quickly left again, I listened to his footsteps going down the stairs before the slam of the front door.  
‘’Fuck’’ I yelled as I turned and hit the wall before groaning as pain shot through my hand, remembering  Sutan and Brad was still on Skype, I groaned to myself again before I took a deep breath and walked in to the bedroom again, my eyes flickering over to the laptop to see them whis0pering to each other before I walked over to the mirror and peered in to it, my hand touching my cheek and winching slightly at the tenderness of it, sighing, I turned back and walked over to the bed where I climbed on to it and turned the laptop around.

‘’Im sorry’’ I breathed out to them as their heads turned back to the sc4reen, eyes widing slightly at the red mark on my cheek before Brad shook his head.   
‘’That was quite a yelling match Adam, are things okay with you two?’’ Sutan asked as I looked at them before I glanced at the bedside unit where two plane tickets were sat and I shrugged before turning back again.  
‘’I don’t know, we’ve started to fight a few times now and again, the main thing is over this trip home to Russia with him which he wants me to go on but its hard to get time off with work and trying to get meetings around other peoples dates’’ I sighed before I reached up and rubbed at my neck.    
‘’I think he’s right honey, if you have gotten this skinny though work you have been working too hard’’ Sutan said and I rolled my eyes slightly.   
‘’Please don’t you start’’ I begged,   
‘’Excuse me Adam but we have every right to start on you! Where the hell have you been the past years Mr. Im just going to stop talking to everyone I cared about and visiting home’’ Brad spat out and I looked down slightly, ‘’yeah I thought so, so don’t go telling us not to start on you, you owe us a lot of explaining’’  
‘’Its hard’’ I spoke out as I shifted slightly and looked back up again, hearing a door open and then close I looked towards the bedroom doorway as footsteps echoed,  
‘’Just tell us the truth Adam, why did you just disappear?’’ Sutan asked and I sighed softly as a door slammed and I looked over towards the doorframe and then back.   
‘’As you know I came home, went on idol and got voted off’’ I said as they nodded, ‘’me and Nikolai went to Russia and lived over there for about a year or two to help out with his parents before we moved back to New York, I got a few gigs in theatre, Nikolai in photography’’ I told them as I sat back against the back of the bed and bent a knee up slightly, my arm hanging over it,  
‘’Go on’’ Sutan said as he leaned forward and rested his chin in his hand,  
‘’I was approached one day after rehearsals by a few guys in suits, they had been sat in the back while we practiced, well basically they introduced themselves and told me that they had been trying to find me after idol, even went as fair as going over to Russia because that was the last place they knew I was, after much explanation, they told me that they loved what they heard on idol and after so long my voice had gotten better and they offered me a record deal with RCA records, the same label the idol winner got with 19’’ I told them and they just stared back at me.  
Letting the silence wash over us for a while, I started to move slightly nervous before they both grinned widely,   
‘’so you actually made your dream of singing’’ Sutan grinned out before I nodded slightly.   
‘’I know you guys probably hate me because of my not talking to you but with my constant meetings and rehearsals and gigs around the place I haven’t had a lot of free time and when I have I’ve mainly slept, but it should start to even itself out now that the album is due to drop in less than two weeks’’ I told them.   
‘’Oh my god Adam’’ Brad screeched and I winched slightly at the same time as Sutan did, ‘’so are you still in New York?’’ He asked and I swallowed slightly before shaking my head which earned two raised eyebrows.   
‘’Kinder close to home’’ I told them,   
‘’How close and how long have you been living there for?’’ Sutan asked before he leaned back and smiled to someone off the camera.  
‘’Umm for three years just about and a few miles…Hollywood to be exact’’ I told them before there was a crash on their end as they both turned to look off the screen.   
‘’You have been back in California for three years and you never fucking told us?’’ Brad spoke out and I nodded slightly, ‘’can we at least come to visit you, see you in person to make sure that you are still our Adam and not some machine, I mean we are allowed to be friends right with the Rockstar nor…right?’’ Brad asked and I laughed softly before nodding.   
‘’Of course, I would love to see you guys’’ I told him softly.

Telling them my address and the code to get in to the gate, I signed of Skype and closed my laptop up as I stood and quickly undressed and headed in to the bathroom where I showered and dressed again in a pair of lounge pants and an old vest top.   
Walking back downstairs, I glanced around before I noticed Nikolai sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen as I walked in.   
‘’Don’t worry, you can get your plane ticket refunded, don’t worry about coming to Russia with me Adam, I do not want you there’’ Nikolai told me as he stood and walked out past me, the sound of the front door opening and then closing again. Shaking my head, I headed back in to the lounge and over to where all the CD’s were kept, moving a few piles out the way, I soon found the cd which I had hidden away, putting it in, I pressed play once it was loaded and let my eyes close as Marilyn Manson started to play through the system loudly. I had found the cd in my bag from the last time I had came home before going back to college again, I had quickly labeled it as being Tommy’s as I knew he was the only one of the three of them to ever listen to him.   
Heading back in to the kitchen again, I found the bottle of whiskey and a glass before walking back to the lounge and poured myself a drink before I laid back on the couch, sipping at it slowly every so often, I closed my eyes and breathed out deeply as I tried to push Nikolai’s and my fights to the back of my mind.  
Listening to the music, I couldn’t help but think back to how Tommy looked the last time I had seen him, the way his eyes was a gorgeous shade of brown, not like Nikolai’s where his was a muddy sort of color, Tommy’s had looked more like chocolate sprinkled with a light dusting of gold flakes, the way he would push his lips out in a pout if he was confused or if he was trying to concentrate on something had been amazing. I knew that my crush on him had never left and I was afraid of ever seeing him again in case my feelings came back stronger again.

Sure I loved Nikolai to bits, but part of my heart had always belonged to Tommy, whether he knew it or not.


	5. *One years and eight months ago* - Hollywood & Burbank

Glancing around the place, I breathed out deeply before my eyes fell on Drake walking back over with a tray and I returned his small smile before sitting up further again as he got closer.  
‘’They didn’t have the coffee I wanted, can you believe that?’’ Drake asked with a soft laugh as he sat down again and I grinned slightly, the whole day had been nice and not once did Drake seem to have a bad side or even glance about himself as we moved around the city, visiting different places and shopping, it made me feel a little easier about what I wanted to do and I knew I had waited until we were in a public place to do it so there would be less chance of any violence. ‘’what else do you want to get up to?’’ He asked as he stirred the small spoon in his drink and I wrapped my hands around my own cup.   
‘’Not sure really, did you have anything else in plan?’’ I asked him as I raised it to my lips and took a sip as he smiled and reached over, his free hand moving over mine softly as I turned it and let my fingers link through his.  
‘’Well we have pretty much gone in every shop which Burbank has and we are in Hollywood at the moment so we could always visit some of the attractions’’ He grinned before I let a soft laugh escape and nod softly.  
‘’It sounds good, I heard that the walk of fame has gotten a few names added to it lately so we could always go and see that’’ _Plus its nice and public for our break up_ went unsaid as I looked at him and he nodded.  
‘’Sounds perfect baby, we can always get dinner in one of those nice restaurants afterwards too, I think there’s a new Mexican place which has opened up somewhere and I know how you love the food’’ Laughing I nodded to him slightly before he mp against hand away and I wrapped both around my cup again as we both fell in to a soft silence.

Looking up as Drake’s phone started to ring, I frowned slightly as he pulled it out and grinned slightly, ‘’Sorry baby, I have to take this’’ Drake told me before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek before he started to walk away again and I sat back in my chair and breathed out, his nice act was starting to freak me out slightly, I just wanted to know what was going on through his mind at the moment before I turned and rubbed my eyes a little and looked around the café again before I stood and pushed my phone and wallet back in to my pockets before walking towards where drake had walked off too, finding him, I watched as he looked up towards me and I smiled softly before pointing to outside as he nodded.  
Escaping out in to the fresh air, I breathed out slightly and took a few steps away from the café before I glanced back towards it as I waited for him, everything felt nice as well as strange, I wasn’t scared to walk away from him somewhere before returning again, it was like he was letting me have my freedom again and I had missed it. Glancing around the street properly since we had spotted the café, I noticed a tattoo shop just out the way and I grinned to myself as I walked down a few steps until I was stood outside just looking over the windows, the different tattoo designs before I felt a hand on the back of my neck softly.  
‘’Are you thinking about getting another tattoo’’ Drake asked and I shrugged slightly,   
‘’Not sure, probably not as I haven’t got the money at the moment and wouldn’t know what to get’’ I told him truthfully as he nodded as his hand moved from my neck and took mine softly as I turned away and smiled lightly at him as he looked at me.

¤¤

As the day wore on, I couldn’t help but yawn slightly as we waited for one of the buses to head back to Burbank again, my head resting against Drakes shoulder slightly as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him tightly, the whole day had been perfect and made me think about how things were when we had first started dating.   
‘’I love you’’ Drake whispered in to my ear, and I bit the inside of my lip slightly before the bus turned up, saving me from having to say it back to him, I still loved him but not with my heart any more.  
‘’Sorry that we didn’t go for dinner in Hollywood’’ I told him as we sat down and he moved his arm over my shoulder again as he chuckled and shook his head,   
‘’It’s fine, I prefer food from home anyway’’ He winked as I smiled softly and turned back around.

‘’Hey Drake, can I talk to you after you got everything?’’ I asked him as I slipped in to the booth in the dinner after we had arrived, his face turning in to a frown slightly before he nodded and headed towards the counter and I breathed out slightly, the diner wasn’t as packed as I would’ve wanted it to be but there was still plenty of people in here for him not to kick off.  
Hearing laughter come from another end, I glanced over to see a group of girls talking to each other before they glanced over and laughed again as they noticed me looking, a few of them blushing before I turned back again as Drake walked over.  
‘’Hey’’ I smiled at him which he returned as he sat down and moved closer again, glancing to the side and through my hair, I could still see the girls looking before I turned back as Drake moved and leaned forward, his lips pressing against mine as I brought a hand up and laid it against his jaw as I kissed him back again before I slid it down on to his neck and slowly pulled away, his lips chasing mine slightly as he laughed and ran his fingers through my hair before pecking my lips again as I dropped my hand away and grabbed my coffee.   
‘’They are going to bring the food out in a bit once it’s cooked’’ He told me and I nodded softly and relaxed back in to the booth’s seats as he let his eyes trail over me slightly. ‘’I really want to fuck you right now’’ He whispered and I chocked on my drink slightly before looking up at him, a blush on my cheeks as he winked at me.   
‘’Drake, that really isn’t the sort of thing to say here’’ I told him as he shrugged slightly and turned to pick his own drink up again and took a sip from it.   
‘’What did you want to talk about anyway baby?’’ He asked as one of the girls walked past us and I shrugged slightly,  
‘’It can wait until we’ve eating’’ I told him as he looked and me and then slowly nodded before he slipped around in the booth to be closer to me again, his arm around my shoulder as I leaned in to him and he started to silently whisper things in to my ear, a slight blush on my cheeks which I tried to hide behind my cup, feeling his hand slide over my thigh, I jumped slightly before I battered it away before I could think about it, ‘’Not here’’ I quickly snapped, his eyes darkening before going light again as he grinned, it wasn’t that I didn’t want him to feel me up, I just didn’t want him to know that I wasn’t hard even with all his words.  
‘’Alright, alright once we get home, I just can’t help myself Tommy, your gorgeous’’ He whispered before tilting my head back for a soft kiss before he moved away again just as someone came over with plates and set them down in front of us.

Pushing my plate away empty, I breathed out slightly and rubbed at the back of my neck as Drake finished his dinner up and done the same and moved them towards the other end of the table.  
‘’I…uh…I want to break up’’ I quickly stuttered out, my eyes on the table as I saw Drake pause out the corner of my eye and turn towards me.   
‘’What’’ He asked as I breathed out slightly and swallowed.   
‘’I want to break up Drake…I…I don’t want to be with you anymore’’ I told him, ‘’im sorry, im going to go home pack a bag and go to one of my friends’’ I told him as I started to stand before I felt his hand curl around my wrist in a bruising hold which had me pausing and trying not to wince in pain.   
‘’Sit down boy, if anyone decides that this relationship is over, it’s me. Im the one who says when, where and how it ends and until then you are mine’’ Drake growled out in a low voice so no one else could hear, ‘’Do you understand?’’ He asked as he let go and I nodded slightly before sitting down again, my hand moving up to rub at my wrist as I breathed out slightly, my heart crashing against my chest as the door of the diner opened and familiar laughter rang out, my eyes snapping up as a few people walked inside, the fear growing inside slightly as Brad looked towards us with a worried expression which quickly faded as he noticed me looking.  
Glancing over at Drake, I noticed him looking to before he smiled and waved slightly before he turned back and moved back closer to me, his arm moving around my shoulders and pulling me against him. ‘’You never try that again Tommy or you will be in more trouble than you already are’’ He whispered in to my ear, ‘’now you pretend everything is fine, that your little out bust never happened and we are still having our great day until you ruined it’’ He hissed as I nodded slightly with a small smile aimed at him which he returned.

‘’Tommy…Drake, it’s a pleasure to see you’’ Brad spoke out cheerily as he walked over and pushed himself in to the booth and pulled me away from Drake and in to a hug which I returned. ‘’I want to talk to you’’ He whispered in to my ear as I hugged him tightly and pulled away again.   
‘’Brad, I didn’t expect to see you home, I thought you were still visiting your parents’’ Drake said as I moved slightly so I was a little closer to Drake again.   
‘’Oh of course, but I had to cut my trip short, the shop needed me back and plus Sutan dragged me out with him and Adam’’ He said and I looked at him in shock before footsteps neared and I glanced up to see them both walking over, a smile on their face before I swallowed a little.   
‘’Hey Sutan’’ Drake spoke out and he looked up, eyes moving between the three of us before he smiled,   
‘’Drake darling…Tommy, oh im pleased to see that you haven’t damaged that pretty face of yours again’’ Sutan chuckled as I smiled at him weakly and Brad turned to look at me with a frown.   
‘’I got in to a fight one night I went out drinking, drunken mistake’’ I chuckled as he rolled his eyes in a way I knew he didn’t believe me.   
‘’Well come with me, you can help me get drinks in’’ He grinned before getting up and grabbing my hand before I could protest, letting him drag me out the booth and then past Adam, I swallowed slightly as our arms brushed before I found myself at the other end of the diner with Brad,   
‘’Okay Mr. what the hell is going on?’’ Brad asked and I looked at him confused slightly before I glanced back to see Drake watching us before he turned and said something to Sutan.   
‘’Don’t know what you are talking about’’ I told him as I turned.   
‘’Oh give over with the bullshit honey, I saw him grab your wrist and it didn’t look friendly and then that drunken fight, I don’t believe…is Drake hurting you?’’ Brad asked and I swallowed slightly and refused to meet his eyes, my heart crazy against my chest knowing that he had figured it out. ‘’honey’’ He gasped, hand moving to his mouth as I slowly looked over at him. ‘’how long has it been happening for?’’ He whispered and I shrugged slightly  
‘’Lost count’’ I told him softly before pausing as someone came over and Brad quickly told them all the drinks, ‘’do you remember when me you and Sutan was curled on my bed and I told you that I was glad you didn’t have him?’’ I asked as he nodded, ‘’It was around then that it had started’’ I told him as he sighed.   
‘’Leave him Tommy’’ brad whispered and I looked at him and shook my head, ‘’why’’   
‘’Because I love him Brad, and all that is over, he said it himself that he was sorry and he promise not to do it again, today has been amazing and he hasn’t done anything in over a month’’ I lied to him, the feeling of his hits still fresh from the day before. 

Helping him back with all the drinks, I noticed that Sutan was sat on one side of Drake and Brad moved in to the seat on the other side leaving me to sit next to Adam,  
‘’So Tommy is coming home with me tonight, I need him to model some new clothing which I have done and he is the perfect size’’ Brad said and I looked up at him as I sat down slightly, a space between me and Adam as my eyes flicked towards Drake who was staying at Brad too.  
‘’But we had plans for tonight’’ Drake spoke and I watched as Brad turned to look at him with a shrug and smile.   
‘’Well Tommy told me that you were just going to be curling up with a film, you can survive one night without your lover boy’’ He winked before turning back and I picked my drink up and found a sudden interest in it again to avoid Drake’s stare.  
‘’I guess I could let him out for one night’’ There was a teasing tone to his voice as the others laughed, but I could sense that the moment I got home that I was going to be in trouble. ‘’so Adam, may I ask why your wearing that hat so low for?’’ Drake asked as Adam laughed beside me and I swallowed slightly, the sound running through me.   
‘’It’s not for fashion, trust me’’ Adam spoke out, his voice laced with warmth and kindness, ‘’I have to wear something to try and disguise who I am, it gets tiring when you want to spend time with friends and the paparazzi is always taking your photo, it helps with getting some peace sometimes’’  
‘’Ah so your in the acting business are you?’’ Drake asked,  
‘’No, im a singer actually’’ Adam spoke out, a little humor to his tone as I slowly raised my eyes to look at him for the first time, black hair peaking out slightly from under the cap before his lips were pulled up in to a smile and I turned away again, my eyes meeting Drakes before I looked back down at my drink and started to pick it up again when I felt my elbow get knocked in to, the cup falling from my hands and spilling over me slightly as I jumped up and looked up to see a shocked looking girl holding a pen and napkin.  
‘’Im so sorry Mr. I didn’t mean to…I just…I just wanted to get Adam’s autograph’’ She quickly spoke out, eyes filled with tears as I shook my head and smiled softly.   
‘’No it’s fine, I was in a world of my own anyway, its no damage done really’’ I told her with a smile, ‘’just going to go to the bathrooms’’ I told the others before I quickly walked away, the feeling of Drake watching me burnt in to my back as I pushed the doors open and headed down the hall before turning in to the restrooms.

¤¤

‘’Hi’’ I spoke out after Tommy had quickly left and the girl still stood there, a blush on her cheeks as she turned back to me, nodding towards the pen and napkin in her hands she blushed deeply again before holding them out, signing it quickly and handing it back, I turned back and picked my drink up with a sigh as Sutan laughed.   
‘’You wanted your dream Adam’’ Sutan said and I grinned slightly.   
‘’I know’’ I told him before taking a sip from my drink.   
‘’Excuse me, im going to go check on my boyfriend’’ Looking up towards the other guy…Drake, I frowned at the look which Brad threw him as he moved and watched him walk away,   
‘’everything okay Brad?’’ I asked as he turned and looked at me, a smile on his lips as he nodded.   
‘’Of course, I think im going to head off as soon as Tommy comes back, try and get some things sorted before it gets too late’’ He smiled as I nodded.

‘’Nikolai’’ I spoke out before standing as the diner door opened and he walked in, a soft smile on his lips as he turned towards us, pulling him in to my arms as he got closer, I pressed a kiss to his lips before sitting down again.  
‘’Hi’’ He spoke to the others as they smiled and nodded towards him.   
‘’It’s nice to see you again Nikolai, its been a while’’ Sutan spoke out as he nodded,  
‘’Indeed it has, im sorry again for not being there when you first came to visit Adam, I had returned home to spend some time with my family as I never spent Christmas with them’’ He spoke, ‘’ and then all the other times’’ He laughed as I grabbed his hand softly and laced my fingers through his as they rested on the table.  
‘’Of course, its fine honey’’ Brad spoke out with a smile,   
‘’what was you really talking about when you went to get drinks with Tommy?’’ Sutan asked Brad,   
‘’Like I said, I was telling the sweetie that I wanted him to model some things for me because he is the right size’’ Brad smiled ‘’and that I was going to drag him back to mine for the night so we can also catch up, its been a while since we had spent time together just me and him’’ Brad told us as Sutan nodded.   
‘’Do you think he and Drake are okay, Tommy seemed quite distant when you came back from getting drinks?’’ I asked and Brad turned to look at me.   
‘’They are fine’’ He smiled as I nodded and looked over at Nikolai with a smile which he returned.   
‘’You mother says hello by the way’’ He told me and I groaned slightly,   
‘’Fuck, I forgot that I was meant of gone to see her today’’ I muttered as I rested my head on his shoulder and he chuckled softly.   
‘’Yes, she thought that might have been the case’’ Nikolai told me as I nodded and footsteps approached and I sat up again to see Drake walking back, a small look on his face which I didn’t like the look off before Brad moved to let him back in again.  
‘’How is he?’’ I asked as Drake’s eyes met mine before dropping down to my hand on Nikolai’s as he smiled.  
‘’Just fine, trying to dry his pants off more’’ Drake chuckled which sent a chill down my spine as I nodded softly. There was something about him which I didn’t like and I wanted to wrap Tommy up in my arms and keep him away from him before I turned towards Brad to see him looking up slowly before he stood as Tommy got closer.  
‘’Alright then, you ready to go Tommy?’’ Brad asked as he looked up surprised before nodding, looking at him, I bit the inside of my lip as I noticed the redness tinting his eyes slightly as he pushed his hand in to his jean pocket, his jacket undone and hanging either side of his sides.  
‘’I’ll call you tomorrow when I want picking up Drake’’ Tommy said and I glanced over at him as Drake nodded and stood again and stepped closer to Tommy who had his eyes on his the whole time.  
‘’Going to miss you tonight’’ Drake whispered as he moved a hand up and lightly touched his fingers against Tommy’s cheek before pulling him in to a kiss before away again, his lips moving to his ear and whispering something which caused Tommy to swallow before nodding. ‘’love you’’ Drake whispered.   
‘’Love you too’’ Tommy replied before he turned towards Brad as he grabbed Tommy’s hand,  
‘’Come one honey, got a busy night’’ He smiled out, ‘’I will pop that jacket over to yours for Austin later tonight Sutan and I will see you soon Adam and Nikolai, it was great to meet you again’’ brad rushed out as we all said our goodbyes and I watched as Brad pulled Tommy out the diner, a slight winch on his face which he tied to mask quickly.  
‘’We should be going too Adam, you have an early meeting with the management in the morning’ Nikolai said as I turned to look at him and nodded.   
‘’I do, Sutan are you wanting a lift home?’’ I asked as he smiled and nodded.

¤¤

Dropping Sutan home again, I returned Sutan’s hug before I sat back in the seat again as Nikolai started to drive home again, my mind on the face Tommy had when he hid the pain, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in his life and what had happened for him to hide any pain which he had. I knew the moment we had entered the diner and Brad had mentioned his name that all the feelings had come back, he had looked beautiful sat there, hair hanging in front of his eyes like it had always done even back in high school, his long fingers wrapped around his cup had brought images to mind which had left me feeling guilty as I thought about Nikolai. Looking over at him, I saw him glance over with a smile which I returned before I reached over and softly laid my hand on his thigh, his own moving down to cover mine as I breathed out and let my eyes close as I leaned my head back against the car seat again.  
‘’Go straight to bed Adam’’ Nikolai spoke out and I nodded slightly without opening my eyes,   
‘’so tired yet I don’t know why I am’’ I chuckled as I felt him squeeze my hand softly.   
‘’Life always makes us tired Adam, its okay, just rest a little and you will feel a lot better’’ He told me as I smiled and let the silence fall between us as he kept driving.


	6. *one month ago* – Hollywood and Burbank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is kinder rushed and a little strange, but yeah I admit its not the best in which I could do but I just wanted to get this fic updated and I will try and have a much better chapter next time

‘’So are you going’’ Nikolai yelled out as I rolled my eyes and walked out the study and towards the kitchen, the fighting had gotten more often and we seemed to spend more time apart as I heard his footsteps follow me down the hall.   
‘’What do you want me to say Nikolai, its my school reunion, its been a long time since I saw anyone’’ I spoke back, voice still quiet as I took a deep breath and pulled the fridge door open, grabbing the small lunch box which held my dinner in, I pulled it out and used my hip to close the door again as I walked towards the counter to grab a fork.   
‘’Yes but you hid it from me Adam, why?’’   
‘’Because I knew this was how you were going to react, what else was I going to do’’ I asked as I turned to look towards him before back again, it had been nothing but fighting about something all day no matter how big or small it was, first it was because of a few dishes in the sink before it moved on to the study being a mess before it finally landed on the invitation I had received from Sutan about the reunion.  
‘’So what was you going to do, not tell me and make some excuse for going somewhere but go to this thing really?’’ Nikolai spat out and I sighed before putting the pot down on the counter and turned to face him.   
‘’No, I was going to tell you this weekend, I was going to ask you to come with me as my plus one actually, but if you don’t want to go that’s fine, im going to go and see my old friends, im going to go and enjoy myself and let my fame be left at the front door before I leave, I want to act like Adam Lambert the 28 year old I am and not the Adam Lambert, billboard number 1 singer’’ I yelled back, ‘’I just want to forget myself for a few hours, spend a night with my boyfriend in company of old friends and new, to spend a night in a hotel room which isn’t due to performing in a different city, to spend one night without a band hanging around me either’’ I whispered out as his shoulders fell slightly and he walked in to the room more before I shook my head and turned around, putting the lid back on the box, I moved back to the fridge and replaced it again as I felt a soft hand against my lower back before lips pressing against my bare shoulder.  
‘’Im sorry Adam’’ Nikolai whispered,   
‘’don’t, please just don’t. I have to get ready to meet Monte’’ I told him as I shrugged his touch off and headed back out the room again, leaving Nikolai to stand alone in the kitchen.

∞

‘’Do you think he got the invitation?’’ Turning to look towards Brad I sighed and shrugged lightly,   
‘’I don’t know sweetie, I sent it, lets just hope’’ I told him as we talked over lunch, my eyes watching him carefully to see that there was something hidden behind his eyes, ‘’have you spoken to Tommy lately?’’ I asked and Brad quickly turned to look at me,   
‘’No I haven’t but im worried’’ Brad told me and I raised an eyebrow slightly before placing my coffee down to look at him better,   
‘’About what?’’   
‘’Him and Drake, I mean do you remember when we saw them in the dinner last year, the last time we saw Adam too?’’ He asked and I nodded softly,  
‘’I do, you took Tommy off home with you’’   
‘’Well it wasn’t because of why I said, I wanted to keep him away from Drake, when we were walking in, I saw Tommy say something to him before standing but then the next moment his face had falling and he was sitting back down and he looked scared, I also noticed the way Drake had hold of his wrist, it wasn’t friendly’’ Brad told me,   
‘’You could’ve been mistaken’’ I told him as he shook his head,  
‘’Sutan, he admitted to me that Drake has hit him a few times and then when they came back from the bathroom, Tommy’s eyes were red like he had been crying and he was in pain, once back to mine he wouldn’t let me touch him and he locked himself in the bathroom for a few hours before he asked for some spare clothes’’  
‘’Im not following honey’’ I said softly before looking up as the waiter walked over, smiling at him, I handed my card over before turning back to Brad.  
‘’He changed in the bathroom but when he came back out he had his hoody back on, his jeans and jacket in his hands before he moved through to the spare bedroom and shut himself in, I went in a few hours later to check on him but he was asleep but that was when I noticed his boxers with his jeans too Sutan…I think Drake raped him in the bathrooms’’ Brad whispered to me and I stared at him before shaking my head,  
‘’He couldn’t off, they love each other’’ I tried to say,  
‘’There was blood Sutan, put the facts together, he wouldn’t let me touch him, he changed in private and didn’t have contact with me until he dressed in the morning and was on the phone to Drake when I got up at 7 and then Drake was there within half an hour’’ Brad whispered before the waiter came back, taking my card and putting it away again as we stood and left the restaurant.

‘’I don’t want to believe it Brad, I really don’t’’ I told him as we started to walk down the street, his arm moving up around my elbow as he sighed,  
‘’I know, but everything is pointing towards Drake being abusive towards our boy, haven’t there anything you seen which Tommy’s not seem sure about himself?’’ Brad against and I frowned slightly before nodding,  
‘’A few bumps and bruises and then that was that bruise on his face which he said he got from a bar fight and he seemed to want to clean the apartment up before drake came home early and his face dropped’’ I told him before he stopped.  
‘’We need to get him away from Drake for a while, you sent him an invitation to the reunion too right’’ He asked and I nodded.   
‘’Of course I did, it wouldn’t be the same without Tommy there’’

∞

‘’Drake im sorry, I didn’t mean to drop it, you made me jump when you came in’’ I whispered out to him as he moved closer to me and I stepped backwards,   
‘’so you are trying to tell me that it’s my fault that you dropped my dinner?’’ He asked, voice harsh as I quickly shook my head,  
‘’No it isn’t your fault, im sorry, I should’ve been listening’’ I quickly told him as I felt his hand move up and curl around the side of my neck.  
‘’That’s a good boy, now what am I going to have for my dinner?’’ He asked and I lifted my head slightly and pressed a kiss to his cheek before I turned and grabbed my own plate, ‘’you are such a sweet boy Tommy-Joe, now clean the mess up and then run a bath for me, I’ve had a hard day at work’’ Drake told me as he took the plate and left the kitchen.

Kneeling down and cleaning everything up quickly, I took a deep breath as I stood up again and put the broken plate in to the bin before I looked through the fridge and made myself a quick sandwich for my own dinner before I finished up and headed in to the bathroom where I started to run a bath, adding everything which I knew Drake liked, I stood again and went to turn before I felt his hands smooth up my back and hands curl over my shoulders before he wrapped his arms around me.  
‘’Dinner was amazing baby and you have the bath all ready’’ He whispered in to my ear as he kissed it softly and I nodded.   
‘’Im glad you enjoyed it, the water is just the right temperature, just like you like it’’ I told him as he chuckled softly.   
‘’Thank you baby, why don’t you get undressed and join me’’ He purred in to my ear which caused a shiver to run through my body before he run his hand down my chest and rested it against my stomach.  
‘’I would love to Drake, but I have some more cleaning which I need to get done’’ I told him as he sighed and squeezed me slightly before he pulled away.   
‘’Okay baby, but if you change your mind you know where to find me’’ He smiled before kissing my cheek, nodding to him; I walked out the bathroom and quickly headed back to the bedroom to finish cleaning.  
I knew I should’ve joined him in the bath just to give myself a break from the cleaning but I knew that he would’ve gotten mad once he had seen the cuts on my skin, it felt like my only escape from him and I knew that Brad had sensed something else was wrong the night I stayed with him but I didn’t want their help, I knew Drake loved me and I loved him but I also knew that staying with him was slowly killing me on the inside, I had been with him for so long now that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have that escape, to have the freedom I did as a teenager when I crushed on a few different people but I still couldn’t get my crush on Adam out of my mind, I knew from the last time I had spoken to Sutan and Brad that they hadn’t heard or seen him in a long time and I wondered what he looked like now and how he was doing, I wanted to know if he was still with the guy he was last time I had seen him and how he was doing as a singer, but most of all, I found myself wanting to be held by him lately and it scared me.

∞

‘’Adam…baby are you home?’’ Hearing Nikolai’s voice call out as the front door closed loudly, I took a soft breath and slipped my letters in to the draw and pushed it closed as I turned back to my laptop, eyes scanning the screen as I started to type again before I felt hands slide over my shoulders and down on to my chest.  
‘’Im trying to work Nikolai’’ I told him as he sighed and pressed a kiss to the side of my neck.   
‘’You work to hard baby’’ He whispered out, the smell of alcohol clean on his breath as he leaned around and spun my chair around and sat in my lap and moving his hands to my neck softly ‘’come to bed with me, I feel like we haven’t been with each other in a long time’’ He purred out as I sighed again and moved my hands to his hips before pushing him away slightly.   
‘’You’re drunk, im not sleeping with you when you are drunk Nikolai, just go to bed and sleep it off and we can talk in the morning’’ I told him as I turned back to my laptop again just as he slammed the lid down.   
‘’We never do anything together any more Adam’’ He yelled and I sighed deeply as I rubbed my hands against my head slightly, ‘’when was the last time we had sex…or even kissed huh Adam tell me’’ He yelled again before I pushed away and walked towards the door leading in to the bedroom, his footsteps behind me. ‘’tell me Adam’’  
‘’I haven’t slept with you or kissed you Nikolai because I know you have been seeing other men…why should we have sex when you can easily get it from those people’’ I yell back as he swayed on his feet slightly, ‘’why don’t you just admit to your cheating already, you come home most nights smelling of sex and other men’s aftershave when you have told me you have been out with the girls’’ I yelled back again before I turned and grabbed a pair of my jeans and changed back in to them before slipping my feet in to some shoes and pulled a jacket on.  
‘’Where are you going’’ Nikolai asked as I started to walk towards the door again,   
‘’Out’’ I muttered before I felt him grab my wrist and pull me around before the feeling of his hand came across my cheek again as he slapped me. 

Breathing out slightly, I trailed my tongue over my lower lip as I pressed the back of my hand against my cheek and looked up to see Nikolai holding his hands over his mouth. ‘’Im so sorry Adam, baby I didn’t mean to slap you, I love you’’ he called out to me as I turned and walked out and through the house until I was getting in to my car and pulling out of the drive way, the LA sky dark above as I drove through the streets, no destination in mind at all.

∞

Turning over slowly, I pulled the covers further up and curled up as small as I could as my body shook slightly and silent tears fell over my cheeks, I knew Drake loved me and he always said that he was sorry for everything he done but I was starting to feel weaker the longer I stayed with him now and tonight had been no different when he had surprised me in the shower after I had thought he had left for work.  
I knew that it would be my only chance to shower without him seeing any of the cuts which covered different parts of my body but I knew something was wrong and that I should’ve stayed dressed but I didn’t listen to the small voice inside my mind as I stepped under the hot spray.

The moment I had felt his fingers gripping my hips before sliding to my wrists, I knew I was in trouble, the small tutting sound in his voice had me swallowing and tears already moving before I felt him press me against the wall, his lips next to my ear as he told me how much he thought I was weak and worthless, his words hurting before he forced himself on me just like he did when we had been in the diner, the memories coming back as I cried out for him to stop but each plead only drove him harder before he left and I sat under the water crying for longer.  
I felt happy for the school reunion but at the same time I hated it because I knew Drake had found the invitation in the trash, one place I thought I would be able to get rid of it so he didn’t see and just maybe hope that I would’ve been able to finally escape the life I was currently leading.

Letting a deep breath out, I reached up and wiped the tears away as I heard the door of the apartment open before closing again, the sound of keys locking it before I pulled the covers closer to my and let my eyes press together and evened my breath out, just hoping that Drake would think that I was asleep and just leave me along for a night.  
Listening in silence as he came in to the room, I could feel my toes curling against the covers as I felt the light touch of his knuckles across his cheek as he smoothed it before soft lips, ‘’my beautiful angel, so good for me’’ He whispered out and I felt my stomach turn slightly before the feeling of the covers get pushed back as his touch came across my cheek again, his hand sliding down to my shoulder were he roughly shook me and I stirred slightly as if I had just started to wake up, a hand moving up to rub at my eyes slightly before he grabbed it and pushed me over on to my back as he straddled my thighs.  
‘’Drake please’’ I whispered out, my voice broken slightly still from crying as he smiled and reached out with his other hand to trace my lips.   
‘’I love it when you beg for me baby, makes you look so pretty’’ he whispered as I felt tears form in my eyes again,  
‘’Please not tonight, I still hurt’’ I whispered out as he let his face fall in to a playful sad face  
‘’But it’s been such a long night at work baby, you should at least let me have a few minutes with my baby’’ He whispered out before laughing softly, ‘’alright, ill let you off tonight Tommy but tomorrow you better make sure you do everything’’ He warned me as I nodded slightly and watched as he undressed before climbing off me and dropped down on to the bed, an arm out stretched which I knew was for me as I carefully moved and let my head rest against his chest as he pulled the covers closer and over us both, his arm curling around my waist tightly.


	7. Chapter 7

**.o0o. San Francisco – present day .o0o. **

‘’Tommy’’ Hearing a loud squeal, I turned slightly to see Sutan half running towards me with a grin before it fell slightly as he noticed Drake step in behind me, his hand sliding in to mine tightly as he leaned down,  
‘’Im going to go get us drinks’’ He whispered in to my ear as I nodded and kissed him softly before turning back and walked the rest of the way towards Sutan where he pulled me in to a tight hug, hiding my face in to his neck slightly as I hugged him back, I couldn’t help but feel safe within his touch.   
‘’Honey is so good to see you, come Brad will be over the moon to see you’’ He grinned before grabbing my hand and started to pull me away and back to where he had been, glancing around slightly at everyone, I couldn’t believe that it was the same people which I went school with almost twelve years ago. ‘’Brad darling, look who I found lurking near the entrance’’ Sutan spoke out loudly as I turned back just as Brad turned and his face lit up.   
‘’Oh baby’’ He gasped out before pulling me in to another hug which was just as tight as Sutan’s, ‘’where have you been, we’ve missed you loads’’ He whispered in to my ear as I brought my hands up around him and gave him a slight squeeze.   
‘’Oh there you are, I was wondering where you wondered off too’’ Pulling away from Brad I turned and smiled softly towards Drake as he stepped closer and I moved over to him and took one of the drinks as his arm slipped around my shoulders tightly.  
‘’Drake, how lovely to see you again’’ Brad spoke out and I glanced up to see the joy disappear from his eyes slightly as Drake laughed.   
‘’And you too of course Brad…and Sutan, it’s been a while hasn’t it?’’ He asked as they nodded slightly.

‘’Is that really our Tommy-Joe’’ Turning slightly, I looked towards another guy as they moved closer, a drink in their hand before he grinned. ‘’I thought it was, would never forget someone as pretty as you’’ He laughed before I felt Drake’s fingers slide up to the back of my neck slightly and give a small squeeze.   
‘’Uh…sorry’’ I spoke out quietly, a slight warmth filling my cheeks as he laughed and pulled me away from Drake and in to a hug,   
‘’It’s Cassidy, I don’t expect you to remember, I’ve changed a lot since we left school and I see you have scored the hunk’’ He grinned out, a flirty smile on his face as he looked up at Drake.   
‘’Yeah’’ I chuckled out softly as I moved back over to Drake and slipped my arm around his waist as he dropped his over my shoulders again.   
‘’So how long have you been together?’’ Cassidy asked as he moved his arm around his waist,   
‘’about six years, give or take’’ Drake spoke out as he curled me closer, ‘’and they have been wonderfully haven’t they Tommy?’’ He asked and I looked up at him with a small grin as I nodded.   
‘’Of course, wouldn’t know where I’d be without you now’’ I laughed before looking away again, the slight looks which Brad and Sutan giving towards me clear in the corner of my eyes as I brought my drink up and took a small sip from it.  
‘’How adorable’’ Cassidy laughed. ‘’anyway, babes the gossip…shy little Adam, what the hell happened to him?’’ He asked as he turned towards the other two and I felt Drake pull me closer, his breath against my cheek slightly.   
‘’Remember the conditions for tonight Tommy’’ He whispered harshly in to my ear as I pulled a smile on to my face and nodded.   
‘’Of course baby, but save that for tonight’’ I told him before leaning up and softly pressed my lips against his before I pulled away again, a knowing look in his eyes as he curled his arm around my waist and pulled me closer again.

Letting small breaths out as two hours went by, I could feel Drake’s grip getting tighter around my waist with each person who spoke to me or when Cassidy looked over, a smirk on his lips before a small commotion caused a few people turn to look towards the entrance as three people stepped inside, caps drawn down over their heads slightly but I could still tell that the tallest man was Adam by the way he walked inside, hand in another which I remember to be Nikolai before the caps were moved away and Adam scanned the room slightly before his eyes landed on Brad and Sutan who had took a few steps forward, a slight smile falling over his lips as he let Nikolai’s hand go and turned to the other man which was with them.  
‘’You do not speak to him’’ Drake growled in to my ear as his fingertips pressed bruisinly against my side, the faint bruise already there throbbing slightly,  
‘’But he is my friend’’ I whispered back before biting my lip quickly as his grip tightened again.  
‘’You do not talk to him understand or there will be trouble’’ He hissed out as I swallowed and slowly nodded. No matter what was said, I still knew that I would be in trouble still for answering back to him like I had done.

∞

‘’Don’t worry, I got us all rooms booked although you are going to have to room with Nikolai, but I made sure there was two beds’’ Isaac whispered to me as I nodded and handed my cap over to him and took the room key in return, I hated that I still had to keep the appearance up off being with him even after we had split up, the knowledge of him cheating on me for a long time had finally pushed me to the edge. I didn’t care what Nikolai would get up tonight, I had come to see old friends again and have a good time.

Walking away from them, I headed through all the other people we had gone to school with, ignoring the slight awe struck looks some was giving me knowing full well that they used to tell me that singing would never get me anywhere and that I wouldn’t even make it to Broadway like I had dreamt about.  
Frowning slightly as I saw Tommy turn away with Drake, I wondered what was going on before I reached Sutan and returned the hug he gave me. ‘’It’s so wonderful to see you again honey’’ Sutan grinned out as I chuckled softly and nodded.   
‘’Where did Nikolai wonder off to already and who was that other tasty little thing you were with?’’ Brad asked as I hugged him next and pulled away.   
‘’Don’t know and to be honest, I don’t care and that’s Isaac, he straight and married Brad so don’t even try anything on my drummer’’ I told them both honestly as we sat down at the table.   
‘’What do you mean you don’t care, honey that’s your boyfriend you are talking’’ Sutan said and I laughed slightly before shaking my head.   
‘’No he isn’t, we broke up about a two weeks ago but we haven’t made that fact public yet so we are still keeping up appearances for now’’ I told him as he frowned.  
‘’What happened, you both have been together for such a long time’’  
‘’He was cheating on me and had been for a few months so I moved out, let him keep the apartment we had together and I brought myself a new place’’ I sighed before rubbing the back of my neck slightly and glanced around.  
‘’Sutan’’ Hearing Brad whisper quietly, I glanced up at him to see him nodding in a direction as Sutan turned, a worried look on both of their faces before I followed their eye sight to see them watching where Drake and Tommy was stood near each other, ‘’im getting more worried about him’’ Brad whispered as Drake said something which caused Tommy to look down.   
‘’Okay would you both like to fill me in on what ever is going through your minds?’’ I asked as they both turned back to me before glancing at each other and back again.   
‘’Let’s go somewhere quieter to talk away from the rest of the busy eyes’’ Sutan spoke, glancing around again, I noticed a few people turn away quickly as I nodded and rose from the chair.

Letting them in to the hotel room, I glanced up at the same time as shutting the door to see Nikolai and another guy sat on the bed together, his eyes wide when he turned to look towards me.  
‘’Out’’ I spoke out as I walked over to where Isaac had brought our bags up and undone mine to chuck my jacket in as I slipped it off.   
‘’Adam’’ Nikolai started to say as I turned back around,   
‘’I said get out, I need to talk to my friends in private Nikolai, you only came here tonight for the image, if you want to hook up you can go to their room and not do it in the same room in which im staying’ I spoke out before turning my back to the two of them as they climbed off the bed and walked towards the door before it opened and closed again. ‘’now what is going on with you guys and Tommy’’ I asked as I turned to look towards Brad and Sutan who had settled on my own bed.

Watching as they looked at each other before sighing, Brad turned back and walked over to settle down beside me. ‘’Do you remember that time we saw each other at the dinner that night Tommy stayed with me?’’ He asked and I frowned slightly before thinking back before slowly nodding.   
‘’Yes, I think, why?’’ I asked as he sighed.   
‘’Before we walked in, I spotted Tommy and Drake together but I also saw Drake grab Tommy’s wrist and it didn’t look friendly, while I was getting the drinks with him he had admitted to me that Drake had hit him a few times but tried telling me that it was in the pas and hadn’t happened in a long time’’ Brad whispered out and I looked at him shocked before back at Sutan. ‘’that isn’t all baby, when we was back at mine, Tommy wouldn’t be near me and dressed privately and hid away but I think something bad happened between him and Drake when he went to the bathrooms after Tommy that night.’’  
‘’What do you mean bad Brad, did he hit him again?’’ I asked as he bit his lip and shook his head,   
‘’I don’t think so but when I checked on Tommy later that night, I saw his clothes Adam…I think he forced himself on Tommy’’ He whispered as I breathed out and looked away.   
‘’You mean he forced Tommy to have sex with him in some dirty public bathroom of a dinner’’ Shaking my head slightly, I leaned forward and ran my fingers through my hair and let my eyes close.   
‘’We have been wondering for a while if Drake’s been hurting Tommy, that night at the diner opened our eyes slightly and it’s made us think about some of the injuries we have seen on him in the past, small bumps and bruises which he has just dismissed as him being clumsy but I can’t remember Tommy ever being clumsy Adam, can you?’’ Sutan’s voice spoke out as I looked up at him and shook my head slowly.   
‘’God I feel like I should’ve never left’’ I whispered out, ‘’if I had been here I could’ve seen the signs and not let him get hurt, god Sutan he’s so small’’ I whispered out as Brad’s hands rubbed over my back.   
‘’It’s not your fault honey so don’t blame yourself, none of us knew until that night and then it was only our minds thinking about it, Tommy tries to act like nothing is wrong but I know his smile and it doesn’t reach his eyes, if anything, I blame myself for setting him up with Drake’’ Brad whispered as I pulled him in to a hug.   
‘’We have to do something about it’’ I whispered softly to both of them, our eyes meeting each others before they slowly nodded.


	8. I stand naked before you, my soul open, and no walls to hide behind

Watching as Drake talked with someone I didn’t know, I leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek which made him turn to look at me, ‘’Just going to get another drink’’ I told him softly as he eyed me and slowly nodded.  
‘’Okay baby’’ He smiled before turning back to the other guy, walking away from him, I let a deep breath out and moved towards the long table where the people who sorted the reunion out had put different foods and drinks out for everyone.  
‘’Tommy’’ Hearing his voice, I swallowed slightly and turned to see Adam paused near me, his eyes moving over me softly before he smiled and slowly stepped closer, eyes moving around the room before back again.  
‘’Hi’’ I told him quietly as I turned back again and moved away slightly as I went to reach over for one of the beers near the back, feeling my top start to slide up slightly, I quickly pulled my hand back and tugged it down further as I grabbed two of the colas near the front instead.  
‘’How have you been’’ Adam asked and I swallowed slightly as I glanced up at him again, his eyes filled with concern and wonder before I moved to look towards where Drake had been to see him still talking, his back towards as I shrugged.  
‘’I’ve been good thanks and what about you?’’ I asked, my voice soft slightly as I tried not to let my fear come across as I talked with him after the warning Drake had giving me.   
‘’You know, so, so’’ He grinned, the smile moving wide across his face as I nodded slightly.   
‘’That’s great to hear, I should be getting back to Drake, he wanted a drink’’ I lied to him before he frowned slightly and glanced towards where Drake was standing as I checked to see if he was looking again.  
‘’Tommy, he has one’’ Adam said softly as he stepped closer again and I breathed out, the thought of being so close yet so far from him clear in my mind as I shook my head slightly. ‘’are you okay?’’ He asked as I breathed out and offered a smile.   
‘’Im fine Adam’’ I lied to him, a smile on my face as he sighed.   
‘’ That’s no smile, that’s a mask of pain; trust me I’ve used it enough and I’ve seen it enough over the past few years. ‘’ He told me as I shook my head.   
‘’I still need to get back to him Adam’’ I told him as he sighed ad reached out to touch my arm softly, flinching, I cursed at myself as I noticed the worried look on his face turn to angry as I stepped away again and held the two bottles tightly in my hands.  
‘’You don’t have to go through this Tommy, there’s people who can help you, you’re friends can help you, I can help you’’ He whispered as I shook my head and looked at him.   
‘’Im fine Adam, I don’t need anyone’s help okay so why don’t you tell Brad and Sutan to keep their nose out of people’s relationships when everything is fine’’ I lied to him, my heart hurting as the hurt expression fell over his face, ‘’maybe you should do the same and find your own boyfriend, im sure I saw him walk off with another guy just now’’ I spoke out before I turned and moved away from him quickly, my eyes on the floor before I slowly looked up and paused as I noticed Drake watching me, his face blank as I swallowed slightly and walked closer to him.

‘’Thought I told you not to talk to him’’ Drake hissed in to my ear, a fake smile on his face as he moved his arm around my waist and pulled me against his body tightly.  
‘’im sorry, he spoke to me, I was trying to get away from him’’ I told him, ‘’I wanted to leave and bring you back a cola, I couldn’t reach the beers without my top rising and I didn’t want anyone to see my skin when its only for you’’ I told him quietly as I looked at him, the look in his eye softening slightly as he smiled and brought his hand up to curl around my jaw.   
‘’You’re my good boy’’ He whispered as I nodded slightly and held the cola up as he laughed and took it, his lips pressing against mine softly before he turned away to look around the room, my eyes glancing around quickly to make sure no one had seen before I let myself curl in to him more despite the want to run away and hide from him.  
Feeling eyes watching me, I glanced up to realize that it wasn’t Drake as I turned a little away from him, only to be pulled back closer again.   
‘’Im not going anywhere, just standing up more’’ I whispered as he turned to look at me, an eyebrow raised before I slouched back down a little and curled back in to him as I slowly sipped at my own cola, I didn’t want to be here anymore, I just wanted to be somewhere where Drake wasn’t and somewhere safe, I knew he loved me and I still loved him but I knew what was going on was wrong it was eating my life away.

‘’Nah, im going to get Tommy up to our room, he’s tired, been rushed of his feet the whole day working, im surprised he hasn’t passed out yet’’ Hearing Drake’s laugh, I swallowed slightly knowing that whatever was going to happen wasn’t going to be good, lost in my thought I hadn’t even realized that he had been talking to someone before I offered them a small smile and turned away along with him, leaving the half drank cola on a table as we passed, I shivered again as the feeling of being watched crept up the back of my neck again.  
Standing in the silence as we rode the elevator up the floors, I lightly bit my bottom lip between my teeth before the doors opened and I felt Drake pulling me out roughly, his hand tight around mine as I winched slightly but kept quiet knowing that it would make him angrier again if I spoke out.  
Getting to our room, I kept my head down as his hand finally left mine only to pull the room key out and unlock the door before he pushed it open, slipping inside, I kicked my shoes off before moving them neatly beside the door and scrambled back a few steps as Drake slammed the door closed and locked it. ‘’you are perfectic Tommy’’ He yelled out at me as I swallowed slightly, ‘’you can’t even do one simple thing I told you to do’’ He yelled again as he moved closer, his hand moving to my jaw and yanking my head up to look at him as I swallowed again.   
‘’Im sorry’’ I whispered out as he laughed and shook his head slightly. Feeling the impact of his punch, I could taste the blood in my mouth as I fell against the bed and on to the floor, I bit back the pain as I raised my hand to my jaw and lip slightly and tried to blink the tears away as he walked closer and crouched down in front of me.   
‘’What did I ask you to do Tommy?’’ He asked as I took a shaky breath and raised my eyes to look at him.   
‘’Not to talk to him’’ I whispered as he nodded, ‘’but it wasn’t my fault, he wouldn’t let me leave Drake’’ I spoke out before I felt him slap me, the tears quickly returning again.   
‘’How many times have I told you not to back answer, I asked you a simple question, not to explain yourself you piece of shit’’ feeling him step away, I stayed curled up against the bed, my eyes closed slightly as I heard the sound of a belt falling to the floor.  
‘’Im sorry’’ I whispered out to him as he laughed and crouched down again, letting my eyes open slowly, I looked up at him as he moved his hand to my jaw and softly tilted it up.  
‘’I do this because I love you okay Tommy’’ Drake said softly, the smile on his face was nearly the same one he had when we had first gotten together. ‘’im going to go for a shower and then you can clean yourself up afterwards, but in the mean time get the bed sorted’’ He told me as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head and walked away again.

Hearing the bathroom door close and lock, I breathed out and sat there for a few moments before I pushed away and moved towards the other side of the room where my bag and shoes were, checking that everything of mine was inside, I glanced towards the bathroom and pulled my shoes on before I grabbed my bag and moved towards the door. Getting it unlocked and opened slightly, I paused and looked towards the bathroom again before I slipped out and tried to close the door as quietly as I could before I headed along the hallway and towards the back stair case which I knew would be hardly used.  
Crashing out in to the coldness of the stairs, I shivered slightly and moved down a few flights before I felt the sting come back to my lip again as I bit at it and re – opened the small cut there  as tears came back to my eyes. Dropping my bag down I let myself fall on to the stairs and the tears flow as a few cries broke free from my chest, the realization of how much I was broken inside slowly coming clear now that I had run away from Drake, the way he had been controlling me for so long, I didn’t know what to do, I had no idea where I could go, I wasn’t talking to my family any more, Drake had slowly and sure enough cut all my ties with them along with my friends.  
Hearing heavy footsteps get closer, I froze slightly and tried my best to clear the tears away, only to cry out slightly as I caught my sore cheek and more tears fell again as strong arms moved around me and pulled me against a hard chest. ‘’please don’t hurt me, Im sorry for running, I promise not to do it again just don’t hit me’’ I cried out slightly as I felt a hand move up to rest against the back of my neck as the person breathed out slightly and rested their head against mine.  
‘’It’s okay Tommy, no one is going to hurt you any more’’ Realizing that it was Adam’s voice, I felt myself start to cry harder as I let my fingers curl around his top as he held me tighter, ‘’Shhh, its going to be okay baby’’ He whispered out as I felt him lift me up in to his lap, his arms warm around my waist tightly but still soft enough to hurt as he soothed his hand down my back slowly.

‘’Tommy’’ Hearing the soft whisper and the touch against my neck, I jumped and let my eyes open wide before arms held me tightly as I thrashed around slightly, ‘’hey its okay, its okay baby listen to me, its okay im not going to hurt you like he did’’ Breathing out deeply as Adam’s voice and touch broke through to me, I let a breath out as I curled back in to his touch before I felt his hand on my jaw, tilting it slightly. Letting him move my head up, I kept my eyes looking down as his thumb lightly ran over my split lip before the slight bruise which I knew would be starting to appear already on my jaw and possibly cheek as he sighed.  
‘’Im sorry’’ I whispered out to him as I glanced up through my hair quickly to see the pained expression on his face.   
‘’Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for Tommy, this is Drake’s fault, not yours okay, I just don’t like seeing you hurt’’ He told me as he, ‘’I feel like im the one who should be saying sorry, maybe if I had come home more I could’ve see the signs and helped you sooner, of all you have, time is the most precious. It can never be replaced. And I’ve blown a lot of time on stupid things and forgotten who I really am inside, I left my friends and family for long amounts of time when they needed me the most, when you’ve needed me’’ Adam told me softly, tears in his own eyes as I shook my head and jumped as I heard a door slam open a few floors above.

Trembling slightly, I felt Adam grab my hand as I went to move, his blue eyes pleading with mine silently as he grabbed my bag and pulled me up on to my feet and back up the stairs slightly before he opened another door to the floor we were on and walked through behind me as the heavy door slowly closed.   
Letting him lead me along the hallway, I couldn’t help but glance down at his hand as he still kept hold of mind, his fingers warm between mine and soft before I tripped slightly and he paused quickly, hands moving to my shoulders as I stumbled forward.  
‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked as I nodded and kept my eyes down before he rubbed his thumb over my hand softly. ‘’sorry, I know I can walk a little fast sometimes’’ He whispered before he turned away again and started to walk, a little slower this time as I moved and glanced over my shoulder and towards the door. 

Turning back and walking along with Adam, I jumped as the door we had walked through further along the hall and around the corner opened and banged against the wall harshly, the same time as Adam stopped and knocked against a door quickly.   
Staying stood and hidden behind him, I rested my forehead against his shoulder blades as he squeezed my hand softly and banged against the door again before it opened.  
‘’Adam, what...’’  
‘’We need to come in Isaac, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important’’ I heard him speak out as footsteps moved closer to the corner and I felt myself starting to shake a little more.   
‘’Shit of course’’ The other guy spoke out before I felt Adam turn slowly, a hand moving up to my jaw as he got me to look at him.   
‘’Isaac is okay, he isn’t going to hurt you either okay baby’’ He whispered as I stared at his eyes and nodded slightly before I glanced towards the corner, the fear slowly building up again as Adam stepped inside and softly pulled me after, the door closing before he pulled me in to his arms tightly. Clinging on to Adam tightly, I squeezed my eyes shut as he whispered soft things in to my ear to try and calm me down.

∞

After finding Tommy on the stairs like I did, I knew straight away that I had to protect him from anything and especially Drake as we headed along the hallway and towards my room, of everything, I wasn’t expecting the slamming of the stair door we had come through and I was glad that Isaac’s room was coming up before mine as I knew who ever was coming in behind us would get around the corner and see us both before we had chance to inside my room.

Holding Tommy close to me once we were inside, I swallowed back my emotions as I felt him shaking in my arms, the feeling of him clinging on tightly had me whispering that everything was going to be okay now in to his ear.  
I knew things would be slow but I also knew that I was going to be stood here looking after Tommy for as long as he would let me.


	9. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to say sorry right now for most of this chapter, also I'm going to say sorry for any part which may or may not make any sense at all, the past few weeks I haven't been too good and the past few days I've been feeling under the weather and my mind hasn't really made much sense in the things I write or say.  
> But please try and enjoy this chapter and feel free to have a go at me or say anything you like once you've finished reading...<3

Staring across the room at Tommy’s silent form, I couldn’t help but breathe out slightly before a warm hand settled on my shoulder and I turned to look up at Isaac as he smiled weakly.  
‘’What’s going on Adam?’’ He asked, eyes glancing towards Tommy before he settled down beside me on the bed before handing a beer over,   
‘’We went school together, had this massive crush on him every since I first laid eyes on him’’ I chuckled softly before taking a sip of my drink, ‘’of course I let to go to New York, and so on you know the rest of my story’’ Sighing softly, I just shook my head before I leaned forward on my knee and rubbed my hand over my face, ‘’I should’ve been home more…I should’ve seen the goddamn signs that he was hurting’’ I groaned out quietly.  
‘’Hey it isn’t your fault Adam, you were chasing after your dreams’’ Isaac told me as I sighed and picked at the label on the bottle, ‘’what happened tonight?’’ He asked quietly,  
‘’Sutan and Brad told me about their concerns about Tommy and his boyfriend, Drake, we all went school with him…that fucking bastard’’ I whispered out as I let my eyes move back to Tommy again as he shifted and turned over on the bed, his back now facing towards us. ‘’he hurt him Isaac, six fucking years he put up with it, lied his way through to protect that monster’’

Standing, I drank a longer swig from my bottle before I started to pace back and forth across the room before I put the bottle down and walked over to the bed where Tommy was laid and softly moved the covers up over him as I perched on the edge and just stared at the slight bruise on his jaw, the fingerprints still clear on his pale skin as I sighed and moved away again.   
‘’I found him a mess on the back stairs when I came from the group downstairs, I decided to call it a night and get some sleep before tomorrow, god Isaac he thought I was him, it hurt so much hearing him beg for him not to hurt him and that he was sorry for running’’ I broke out as I collapsed back on the other bed beside him, his hand resting on my shoulder gently,  
‘’He’s safe now okay Adam, that’s all which matter right now’’ He told me as I nodded softly.

Hearing a soft knock against the door, I looked over at Isaac before I stood and walked over and peered through the small hole before I pulled it open to Sutan and Brad who had a worried expression on his face.  
‘’How is he?’’ Brad asked as I closed behind them,   
‘’Sleeping finally, he was fighting it for a while’’ I told him with a small sigh before he walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly.   
‘’We were so worried when you called us’’ Sutan spoke out quietly from where he was walking across the room to sit on the side of the bed, his fingers reaching out and tucking Tommy’s hair behind his ear before he sighed and stroked his fingers over pale skin.  
‘’What happened Adam?’’ Brad asked as he finally let go and walked over to sit beside Sutan.   
‘’I don’t know, I found him on the back stairs crying, his cheek was still red from what I can only assume was a slap because of the finger prints, his lips cut and it wasn’t before hand when I tried talking to him, he kept trying to get away from me and back to Drake’’ I sighed before groaning as I leaned back against the door and slid down it. ‘’god why didn’t I try harder, I should’ve just made him come with me and away from him, I just want to hurt that bastard’’  
‘’Oh honey’’ Sutan cooed out before he moved away from Tommy and over to where I was sat, his arms wrapping around my shoulders as I turned in to him, ‘’we all wish we could’ve done something’’ He whispered as he rubbed his hand over my shoulder and arm.

‘’What are we going to do?’’ Isaac spoke out after a while of silence, ‘’I mean we leave tomorrow night Adam’’ He reminded me as I nodded slightly.   
‘’I know, call Lane and tell her that we are staying until the end of the week, make some excuse up that I want to stay with friends and spend some time but make sure its just us two, send Nikolai back home if he wants too, I really don’t care what he does at the moment’’ I told him as I let my eyes slowly move away from Tommy’s sleeping form to look back towards him as he nodded.

Waken slowly to soft noise, I stretched out before I rubbed at my eyes and glanced around the darker room to see Sutan and Brad hugging in to each other on the other bed asleep while Isaac was stretched out facing the same bed, my shoulder resting against Tommy’s before I looked up to see that he wasn’t there, jumping up slightly, I turned just as a door opened and Tommy came walking out slowly, his hands rubbing at his eyes before he looked up.   
‘’How are you feeling’’ I asked as I moved and groaned slightly, bones clicking as I stood and stretched them out from where I had been cramped up sitting.  
‘’Sore a little’’ Tommy whispered as he turned the light out and moved towards the bed and sat down, his laps in his hands before I reached my hand up and softly brushed my thumb across his lip before he winched slightly.  
‘’Sorry’’ I told him as he shook his head.   
‘’Don’t be, not your fault’’ He told me before I moved and sat back against the floor again as he pulled his legs up and moved across the bed. ‘’sleep up here with me Adam’’ He whispered timidly as I turned to look at him in the darkness.   
‘’I don’t want to invade your space’’ I told him softly before he sighed and moved again, his body slipping back out before he moved and sat on the floor beside me and rested against the bed, ‘’what are you doing’’ I asked softly.  
‘’I don’t want to lay alone, im not used to that’’ He told me before I sighed softly before standing and crawling on to the bed again.   
‘’come on you’’ I whispered softly before he moved and laid back on the bed again, arm just touching against mine before he let a soft breath out.   
‘’Goodnight Adam’’ He whispered  
‘’Goodnight Tommy’’ I whispered back to him as I let my hand move slightly, my little finger hooking around his before I let my eyes close as sleep tugged me under slowly.

∞

Watching Adam sleep beside me, I couldn’t help but think back to the last time I had been in the same bed as him, the way his face seemed so young and relaxed, all his problems gone from his features, reaching my hand out, I lightly traced my fingertips over his cheek as I took a shaky breath and pulled back to brush a tear away from my own face.  
Moving off the bed as quietly as I could, I glanced through the semi darkness of the morning coming to see the others asleep still before movement had me turning back to Adam as he turned over on to his back and rested his hands against his chest and stomach.

I don’t know why I done it, I don’t know what made me leave the safety I finally had as I walked out the door quietly and let it close behind me, the light click sounding as the door locked again had me breathing out before I turned and walked along the hallway to the elevator where I took it back up to the floor I had been staying with Drake on, my feet leading me until I was stood back outside the room. breathing out deeply, I squeezed my eyes shut before letting them open again as I raised my hand and lightly knocked against the wood of the door, only moments going by before it was swung open and I faced to see the pissed off expression on Drake’s face, instantly I regretted leaving Adam, the warmth of his body next to mine making my heart clench as I forced myself to breathe.   
‘’Where have you been’’ He growled out as I turned and watched as a couple laughed together and walked along the hall in the other direction before I turned back again.  
‘’I panicked, I had one of my attacks again’’ I whispered out to him, ‘’im sorry baby, I didn’t mean to be gone for so long’’ I told him as he held his hand out towards me and I slowly took it as he drew me in to his body and wrapped his other arm around my waist as the door slowly closed on its own.   
‘’You know I don’t take kindly to liars Tommy’’ He hissed out against my ear as I let my eyes close as I slipped my arms around him tightly.   
‘’It’s the truth Drake’’ I whispered to him as he laughed and I opened my eyes as he pushed me to arms length before pushing roughly, his hands leaving my body as I stumbled backwards in to the table in the room, my eyes wide as I stared at him.  
‘’Then why do you smell like another man’’ He yelled out before he walked across, moving around the table, I swallowed deeply and backed up against the wall which I knew was stupid as he moved closer and pressed his hands either side of my head, ‘’im waiting slut’’ Drake breathed out heavily.  
‘’I…I went downstairs’’ I told him, ‘’to the bar, a jack Daniels on the rocks to try and calm myself before I left for a walk, I was bumped in to, I didn’t touch another man, I swear Drake, you are the only person allowed to touch me’’ I told him as a sinister smile spread out over his lips, a hand moving to slide up under my hoody to press against my stomach.   
‘’Such a good little boy for me aren’t you Thomas’’ Drake spoke out as he slowly moved away,   
‘’Im yours’’ I whispered out as he brought his hand up and smacked it across my cheek, crying out slightly as I fell to my knees, I reached up with my hand to press against my stinging cheek as he laughed.

‘’God you are so stupid Tommy’’ Drake laughed out as he crouched down in front of me, a hand moving up to brush my hair back before it tightened in his grip, his touch forcing my head back as I blinked back the tears which formed in my eyes, ‘’why did you come back’’ He growled out as I swallowed deeply.   
‘’I didn’t want to hurt him anymore’’ I whispered out before he pushed me away again, another fist connecting with my jaw again had me flying across the floor with a cry.   
‘’Him…of fucking course’’ He yelled out towards me, ‘’fucking perfect Adam fucking Lambert’’ He growled as I tried to pick myself up but felt a force against my stomach which had me digging my fingers in to the carpet as I cried out in pain, ‘’did he fuck you nice and hard huh Tommy, fuck you like the little slut you are’’ He asked as his footsteps neared and I felt his hands grab around my arms as he pulled me to my feet, ‘’because that’s what you are aren’t you Tommy, a little fucking whore who loves to be fucked by anyone’’ He growled as I shook my head slightly only to me pushed backwards, my feet tumbling over something on the floor as I fell back, a loud cry leaving my lips as I felt my head hit against the ground.  
Slowly blinking my eyes open to the feeling of weight on me, I let a small groan out before a dark chuckle echoed around the room, the sound hurting before I felt them move.   
‘’Well welcome back Tommy’’ Drake’s voice sounded faint slightly before familiar hands touched against my chest and I struggled slightly as they moved down.   
‘’Get off me’’ I whispered out as I tried to get my hands out from under his knees before another punch moved across my jaw,  turning my head away, I realized that I wasn’t on the floor anymore and I felt the panic run through me as I kept moving against him, trying to get him off.  
‘’Fucking stop moving you whore’’ He growled out as a hand moved around my throat and squeezed slightly, gasping for breath, I managed to work my hands out from underneath him and grab at his wrists before I moved my arms around and knocked him off, gasping for breath as it rushed back quickly, I scrambled away from him and got off the bed before I turned and tried making a run towards the door as a hand caught around my ankle.

Feeling the ground rush up against me, I turned over, ribs screaming in protest from the impact as Drake moved up over me, a hand curling around my shirt as he threw another punch against my jaw.  
‘’Please’’ I whispered out as hot tears started to fill my eyes as I brought my arms up to try and block some of the blows.

∞

‘’Shit’’ Stirring slightly, I stretched out before quick movements woke me up fully and I pushed up and rubbed at my eyes before I noticed Sutan and Brad moving around while Isaac hovered near the bathroom on the phone.  
‘’What’s going on?’’I asked,   
‘’Tommy’s gone, his bag is here still but he’s gone’’ Sutan spoke out as I quickly sat up and looked around the room only just noticing.   
‘’Fuck, please don’t say he went back to him’’ I breathed out as I climbed off the bed and paced slightly before Sutan grabbed my arms.   
‘’Okay, thanks’’ Turning as Isaac ended the call and walked over, he breathed out slightly, ‘’I called the front desk and explained what was going on, asked for their room number and told them to send security up and to call the cops just in case’’ He told us as I nodded, ‘’his room is two floors up, room 339’’ He told us before I turned and moved towards the door.   
‘’Adam-‘’  
‘’No Brad, im not standing here doing nothing when Tommy could be in danger’’ I told him back as I pulled the door open and started to run towards the stairs, the others footsteps behind me as I crashed through the door and started up to the other floor.

Hearing banging coming from down the hall, I pushed myself harder as a elevator chimed and footsteps moved out as a loud cry echoed out, reaching their room, I tried the door to find it locked before I banged on it hard.  
‘’Tommy’’ I called out, worry filling my voice as another cry echoed from the room, tears filling my own eyes.   
‘’What’s going on’’ Turning to see the hotel security, I breathed out in relief. ‘’we got a call about concern towards a person booked in to this room’’ they spoke out as I nodded,  
‘’Tommy Ratliff…his…that bastard is hurting my friend, he’s been abusing him for years now’’ I cried out as they nodded and  motioned for me to move out the way before they moved closer and knocked against the door.   
Turning away, I looked towards Isaac and the others as they came around the corner, my eyes closing slightly as there was another loud bang and a cry which had the security drawing weapons and motioned to each other, hearing the crack of the door being forced open, I flinched before shouting for him to get back echoed out and I felt hands against my arms as I opened my eyes to look at Sutan.   
‘’Shit, yeah the cops are on the way…call for an ambulance too’’ Hearing the words, I turned and moved to the room quickly and in to see the security guards holding a struggling Drake down, his knuckles red and broken before I looked around the room, furniture knocked over before I noticed another guard knelt beside Tommy who was laid on the floor.

Running over, I fell to my knees beside him and felt tears form in my eyes quickly again as Tommy blinked a few times, breath heavy almost as if he had been trying to fight Drake off.  
‘’Baby’’ I whispered softly as I moved a hand up to run through his hair before the guard caught my wrist.   
‘’don’t touch him, they will need evidence’’  
‘’What…you fucking caught him hurting him, what else do you need, im fucking touching him and comforting my friend you ass’’ I yelled at him as he backed off slightly and I leaned back down to Tommy again, my fingers moving through his hair as I touched my other hand to his jaw as he flinched, a tear rolling down his cheek which I quickly brushed away. ‘’im here Tommy, no one is going to hurt you any more baby, I promise, god I promise’’ I whispered out as I curled my arms around him and helped him to sit up slightly as he leaned in to my chest, fingers gripping my shirt as I pressed my lips against his hair.  
‘’Im sorry’’ Tommy kept repeating as I shook my head and let my eyes closed as I held him.   
‘’Not your fault baby, god not your fault’’ I whispered before I opened my eyes and looked across to where Drake was struggling against the guards before I turned to look towards Sutan and then Isaac who was holding Brad. ‘’Not going to let you go okay, im here and im going to stay’’ I whispered as I turned back down to Tommy and pressed another kiss to his hair as his body trembled.


	10. Time to leave.

‘’Adam, you can’t go out there, you know there’s still paparazzi waiting for you to leave’’ Isaac called out as I started to move out with the paramedics.   
‘’I really don’t give a damn about my image right now Isaac, Tommy is my friend and I made him a promise which im not going to break’’ I told him with a brief glance over my shoulder before I turned back and bit my lip slightly as they wheeled the bed in to the elevator,  ‘’shit’’ I muttered out when I realized that there wasn’t enough room, I turned and moved towards the stairs, running down them quickly with Isaac just behind, I pushed the doors open on the lower level just as the elevator chimed and I turned towards it as the paramedics started to wheel Tommy out, moving back over to the side, I watched as Tommy opened his eyes a small smile appearing before he moved to reach out towards me.  
‘’You’re still here’’ He mumbled as I chuckled wetly,   
‘’Yeah baby, im not leaving, I promised you that’’ I told him as I walked beside them, my hand in his tightly before someone said something.   
‘’Adam don’t’’ Tommy said softly before he winched, ‘’don’t get pictured’’ He muttered out before I shook my head,  
‘’I said I wasn’t leaving your side Tommy and im going to promise that okay, im not leaving you until I know you are better’’ I told him as he smiled weakly. Realizing we had stopped walking, I glanced up as I felt Isaac’s hand on my shoulder before he nodded. **  
**‘’They wanted to get Drake out and in the car first ‘’ He whispered as I nodded and turned back to Tommy, crouching down before kneeling, I squeezed Tommy’s hand in mine softly as I reached up with my other and softly brushed his hair away from his eyes again, my eyes taking in the few cuts against his lips and cheek, the faint shadow of a bruise already forming along his jaw and cheek slightly as I sighed. ****  
‘’Im going to look after you okay, I should’ve done that a long time ago’’ I whispered as Drake’s voice filled the room, bitter words leaving his mouth which made Tommy flinch slightly, his hand getting tighter in mine as his eyes met mine.

Looking away from Tommy again as Drake yelled, I watched as the cops pulled him out the doors of the hotel and passed the paparazzi before I looked back down at Tommy again with a soft smile.  
‘’It’s going to be okay now, he’s not going to hurt you anymore baby’’ I whispered before I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against his forehead  before I stood and started to walk out behind the paramedics again as the wheeled the stretched out.  
‘’Adam…Adam over here’’ ignoring the yells, I moved around to the other side of Tommy and used my body as much as I could to shield him away from the cameras,   
‘’Over here Adam, is it really true that you and Nikolai has broken up…is this an affair or is this the new guy?’’ Another called out as I tensed my jaw slightly and kept my eyes on Tommy as they loaded him in to the ambulance. Turning slightly, I let my eyes wonder over the security before Isaac came over and pushed a bag in to my hands.   
‘’Thanks’’ I told him as he smiled and gave a slight nod, ‘’find Nikolai, get him back to his apartment or whatever…I don’t care anymore,’’ I laughed.   
‘’I’ll see what I can do, are you going to stay at the hospital?’’ He asked before I glanced over at the vultures before back again with a slight wink, ‘’alright, I’ll let Sutan and Brad know what’s going on, just give me a text okay to let me know anything, I don’t want Lane killing me over this’’ Isaac told me as he handed my phone over which I took from him before I felt a tap on my shoulder.   
‘’We need to get going’’ Nodding to the paramedic, I sent a thankful smile towards Isaac as I turned and climbed up in and moved in to the seat across from Tommy.

Taking hold of Tommy’s hand again tightly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his knuckles softly as his eyes slowly blinked open and a small smile spread out over his face.  
‘’Hey’’ He whispered out as his hand turned slightly in my hold and rough fingertips pressed against my cheek softly, ‘’you stayed with me’’  
‘’Told you I would baby’’ I whispered back, ‘’going to get you fixed up okay, make sure nothing is broken or damaged’’ I told him as he nodded slightly and slowly turned his head which had the paramedic turning quickly.   
‘’No more of that, I need to put a neck brace on okay to stop any movement until we can find out what damage may or may not of been caused’’ He spoke out as Tommy smiled weakly.  
‘’Sure thing doc’’ He winched out.   
‘’What happened Tommy’’ I asked quietly as I let his hand go for the paramedic to pass by as he placed a brace around Tommy’s neck and moved back to sit in the front with the driver, almost like he was giving us privacy.  
‘’I didn’t want to hurt you any more’’ He whispered as my hand found its way back to his and breathed out slightly, ‘’didn’t want you to worry about some loser’’ He choked out.   
‘’Hey, you are not a loser Tommy okay, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever known’’ I told him as he let a small laugh out.   
‘’Face it Adam, we were both losers in high school, only difference is you got out of town and went to New York you made something of yourself’’ Tommy breathed out before letting his eyes close, ‘’I stayed behind went from a relationship where I was cheated on in to an abusive one’’ Tommy breathed out as I tightened my fingers around his hand more and pressed another kiss to his knuckles. ‘’I thought if I went back, that it would be okay, he was pissed, I know that but it was okay at first before he realized I went to you…that’s…that’s when he started changing again...he…he started to hit me, he pushed me and I tripped over something…fell…I…I hit my head on the floor and I must of blacked out’’ He whispered as a tear fell from his eye and I let his hand go with one of mine to reach up and carefully wipe it away.  
‘’He can’t hurt you anymore’’ I whispered to him as his hand squeezed mine.   
‘’Please don’t leave me’’ Tommy cried out softly as I slipped further forward on the seat and tightened my hand around his, ‘’im scared Adam, I don’t want him to get to me, I don’t want Drake getting to me’’ Tommy whimpered out as his breathing picked up slightly and I head the heart monitor they had attached to his hand pick up.   
‘’Im sorry Mr. Lambert, I need to get to him, he’s going in to shock’’ The paramedic told me as he quickly moved in and I slid back to give him room.   
‘’No…No get away from me, I have to get out, he will find me’’ Tommy cried out as he thrashed around slightly.   
‘’Tommy, Listen to me Tommy, you are safe, my name is Leo, im a paramedic with St. Anne’s hospital’’  
‘’He’ll kill me please…don’t let him get to me’’ Tommy cried out and I felt my heart breaking at the cries which racked his body.  
‘’We wont let him near you Tommy but you have to calm down okay, im going to give you a little something to help you, you may feel a little tired and that’s normal but you need to calm down for me to give it to you’’ Leo spoke out as another sob left Tommy’s bruised throat.

Moving carefully, I let myself sit in the seat by Tommy’s head and brushed my fingers through his hair as much as I could before I leaned down and brushed a kiss across his forehead, thumbs moving to wipe across his cheeks as tears fell again.  
‘’That’s it Tommy, nice and relaxed’’ Leo soothed out as I lifted my eyes to see him pushing the needle in to the joint of Tommy’s arm before I dropped my eyes back down again and pressed another kiss to his forehead.  
Watching as Tommy’s eyes fluttered shut and move under the closed lids slightly, I let my own eyes close as I felt tears come to my own eyes knowing that he was scared for his life, I knew that whatever was coming next wasn’t going to be easy.   
‘’When we get to the hospital, there will be cops stationed on the ward floor where Tommy will be’’ Hearing Leo’s voice, I opened my eyes and looked up at him before nodding, ‘’with abuse victims hospitals lets only people the victim identifies as safe in so anyone else with you will not be able to enter until he ID’s them’’  
‘’I understand’’ I told him as he nodded, ‘’what’s going to happen when we get there?’’ I asked quietly as Leo sat down on the seat I had been and started to wipe on the clipboard,  
‘’They will take Tommy in, x-rays will be taking to make sure there is no broken bones, I overheard him saying he hit his head and blacked out’’ Leo spoke as I nodded as he wrote something else down, ‘’they will probably do a cat scan to make sure there’s no bleeding on the brain’’ Leo explained as I turned back to look down at Tommy and brushed my thumbs over his cheeks again ‘’once he has rested, the police will ask to speak to him, to give them a statement and they will ask him to strip to his boxers so they can photography and document his injuries, normally they ask the victims to be alone so they can be truthful but I know in Tommy’s case he will want a friend with him, it will help to keep him grounded and feel safe, not a lot of victims can have that’’  
‘’god’’ I whispered out as I pulled a hand away and wiped at my own tears. ‘’you know a lot about abuse victims once you take them in’’ I told him, a light chuckle sounding more strangled as he smiled sadly towards me before reaching over and handed me a tissue which had me laughing lightly as I took it from him and wiped at my eyes again, ‘’thanks’’  
‘’You’re welcome and you are right, I do, it was the reason why I got in to this job, I was a victim once too so I know how you feel, but it will get better, and I know already that Tommy is going to get through it a lot easier and quicker’’  
‘’What do you mean?’’ I asked as he smiled,   
‘’In most cases of abuse, whether it’s a male or female, depending on the sex of the abusive they will not let that same sex so close but Tommy seems to feel safer with you there despite his attacker being male from what I heard’’  
‘’I don’t know why though, I haven’t been around as much as I should’ve’’ I whispered out as I stared down at Tommy again,  
‘’Don’t  blame yourself Mr. Lambert, my work can take me away for long amounts of time and I know being a singer is even more’’ Leo told me as I nodded and glanced over at him before down again.

For a while the ride was silent apart from the sound of tire against tarmac as we got closer to the hospital, I could feel my stomach sitting heavy as I leaned down and rested my forehead against the side of the neck brace which Tommy had on before I sat back again and let a deep breath out.  
‘’So how did you both meet?’’ Leo asked and I looked over with a small smile as he checked on Tommy’s vitals,   
‘’We went high school together, but never ran in the same friendship groups but had lots of common friends’’ I told him with a smile as I looked back at Tommy, ‘’we would only roughly say hello to each other if we passed other than that we never talked but god…I had the biggest crush on him ever’’ I chuckled as Leo grinned.   
‘’Did you ever date, I mean sorry if im asking too much but the way you touch and kiss him and call him the pet names’’ Leo asked as I shook my head with a grin,  
‘’No, I was the awkward quiet gay kid back then not to mention the weight and red hair I supported’’ I laughed as I rubbed my hand over my arm and freckles, ‘’Tommy was this gorgeous punk rocker kid, hair always sticking in different directions and eyeliner, total bad ass attitude and yet I still wanted to be with him you know yet I  was a coward.’’   
‘’What happened? You said you wished you were around more’’ Leo asked as he sat back, the clipboard in his hand and pen in other again as he checked a few things off.   
‘’College, he stayed in LA while I ran away to New York, thought I got over my crush, I came back about a year and half later…saw him, still all blonde and pretty and knew straight away that I still liked him but he had a boyfriend and I was seeing a guy. I was home for four weeks, second week, Tommy and his boyfriend broke up, turned out the jerk was cheating on him, vacation ended and I went back to school, me and the guy I saw called it end and a few months later I started dating this guy Nikolai’’   
‘’Ahh yeah I know him’’ Leo spoke out and I turned to stare at him before he blushed and chuckled softly, ‘’im quite a fan of yours, sorry, but don’t worry anything said inside here wont be told anywhere and I will make sure to delete it from the tapes’’ he told me and I frowned.  
‘’Tapes’’  
‘’Yeah, it records everything for our protection if something happened, I mean in Tommy’s case, if it goes to trial it can be used because I know he started to tell you what happened before his mind reacted to the shock of it, I will save those parts because it will act as more evidence of his well being towards the guy who hurt him to put him away.’’ Leo told me as I nodded.   
‘’Oh right, that’s good’’ I muttered softly.   
‘’So  Nikolai’’ Leo asked as I glanced up and laughed,  
‘’Yeah we were dating for about six months before my friends back here found out, I think Tommy and Drake was already dating by that time…umm, we aren’t actually together any more, I found out that he was cheating on me a few months back and we broke up, I moved out and got a new apartment while he keeps the old’’ I shrugged as I sat forward and softly stroked my thumb across Tommy’s cheek again, his eyes fluttering under his closed lids, ‘’I just wish I was home more to see the signs of him getting hurt, the last time I had seen him I knew there was something wrong…there was this empty look in his eyes, he had never had that before’’ I whispered as I felt Leo squeeze my shoulder softly.  
‘’It will be alright, Tommy is going to be fine’’ He told me before he stood and walked past and in to the front as I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Tommy’s forehead.   
‘’Of course it will be’’ I whispered, ‘’I love you too much to let someone hurt you again’’ I whispered against his skin.


	11. This is the last night you’ll spend alone, I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go.

‘’How is he?’’ Turning, I looked towards Isaac as he walked closer and I shook my head slightly,   
‘’I don’t know, they still haven’t come to tell me anything yet’’ I told him with a sigh as I dropped back down in to the plastic seats in the waiting room and rubbed my hands over my face, it had been a few hours since we had first arrived and I was told to wait. ‘’what are you doing here anyway?’’ I asked as I turned to look back towards him.   
‘’Lane called before I had the chance of getting ahold of her, photos of you getting in to the ambulance has hit the media already along with Drake’s arrest’’ Isaac whispered softly as a nurse past and glanced her eyes towards me. Nodding slightly, I breathed out before linking my fingers behind my neck.   
‘’How did she take it’’ I asked, afraid.   
‘’As well as you think she would’ve, she yelled my ear off for a while before I managed to tell her enough that she finally relaxed enough to think things through fully and start making things right again’’ Isaac told me as a set of doors opened and I quickly looked up just for the doctor to turn and walk of down the hall again. ‘’I found Nikolai with another guy but I told him that he had to find another way home and that you were going to be out of touch for a while, I tried to keep it as small as I could with the other guy there before he started to ask different questions.’’  
‘’What did he ask?’’   
‘’He asked what was going on, started to go off in Russian about something when I told him that I promised you that I wouldn’t tell anyone anything until you were ready to tell people what’s going on and then it would be up to you with how much you let people know’’ Isaac told me as I nodded and let a sigh out.   
‘’I’ve turned my phone off…no doubt once its back on again I’ll be getting countless phone calls’’ I muttered as Isaac laughed and squeezed my arm softly.  
‘’Im going to head back and let Sutan and Brad know what’s going on, I think they’ve taken up in your suite and running your tab up’’ He laughed as I chuckled softly and nodded.  
‘’Thanks Isaac, don’t think I could’ve done this without you’’ I told him truthfully as he stood up.   
‘’No worries man, just make sure your boy is safe’’ He told me as I laughed softly before shaking my head,   
‘’Tommy is my friend Isaac and im just looking out for him like I should’ve done years ago’’ I told him as he smiled softly and squeezed my elbow before he was turning and walking away.

∞

‘’Is there a Mr. Lambert here’’ Hearing someone call out, I turned and pushed myself up on to my feet before I was moving closer to the desk where the nurse was stood, a clipboard in her hands as she looked up with a smile.   
‘’What’s going on…it’s been a few hours and no one has come out to tell me anything’’ I gushed out as I ignored the few looks around the hospital waiting room.  
‘’Sir, as you must understand in these cases, protocol has to be taken seriously and no matter who you are, rules still apply.’’ She told me.   
‘’I know that and I really don’t care who I am or whatever else my fame has to do with it, im just here for my friend, his safety is what im worried about and nothing else, im just saying that they told me it wouldn’t take long when they first brought him in and that was hours ago and no one has come to tell me anything and in my books that normally means that something is wrong and I made him a promise that I wouldn’t leave his side’’ I told her as she smiled softly and placed a hand on my arm gently.  
‘’Sir nothing is wrong, we took your friend down to the cat scan as soon as he arrived before the MRI, everything has come back as clear, a few broken bones, a wrist and a collar bone along with a few fractured ribs.’’ She told him, ‘’Other than the scratches and bruises he has suffered from the attack everything is fine and we were waiting for him to wake up to identify you as someone safe’’ Rubbing my hand over my face as I breathed out, I nodded slightly before I took a quick glance around to see more people watching and whispering as I turned back to face the nurse.   
‘’Can I go see him’’ I asked quietly, ‘’as much as I said I didn’t care about who I was, I would rather this stay a private matter then for it to go to the media’’ I whispered as the nurse looked and nodded.  
‘’Of course Mr. Lambert, there are still a few questions which the doctors are asking your friend but come this way and I can show you to a private room in which you can wait, I promise you now that it will only be a few minutes more’’ She told me as I nodded.  
‘’Thank you’’

Following the nurse through the station and out on to the other side, I smiled softly as she showed me in to a private family room with the promise of it only being a few minutes.   
Running my fingers through my hair, I breathed out deeply and took to pacing the waiting room again like I had the hallway when we had first arrived, Leo’s promise of deleting the things I had said from the tapes and saving the other with Tommy’s words. Pacing towards the windows, I breathed out and paused just in front, my eyes watching the dark sky before I turned as the door opened.  
‘’Mr. Lambert, you can come through now’’ Nodding to the nurse, I moved back across the room and out the door, walking through the hallways, I swallowed slightly as we paused for her to swipe her card, two officers stood either side of the door before we were walking through again and in to another ward.  
‘’How is he?’’ I asked softly,  
‘’Tired at the moment and I wouldn’t be too surprised to find him sleeping again when you get in to his room, but just take things slowly and try not to be too large around’’ She told me as I nodded  
‘’Of course not’’ I told her,  
‘’Good, we have also asked for extra security on the main doors as word of your status here has gotten out and im afraid that there are quite a lot of media press outside’’ She told me as I groaned slightly but nodded.  
‘’Okay, thank you and im sorry for bringing such trouble to the hospital’’ I told her as she paused outside a room with drawn blinds,   
‘’Nonsense Mr. Lambert, you are here for your friend like you have said’’   
‘’Please just call me Adam’’ I smiled as she nodded and held her hand up to the door,   
‘’Just ring the bell if there is anything you need Adam’’ She told me as I nodded.

Stepping inside the quiet room, I breathed past the chemical smell and looked towards the bed to see Tommy’s small form looking even smaller under the pale covers, his body dressed in his own hoody.  
‘’Oh baby’’ I whispered out as I closed the door quietly and moved to his bedside where I pulled the chair closer and sat down, my hand moving to cover his with a small breath. ‘’I told you that everything would be okay, that you’ll be fine, im never going to let you spend another night alone’’ I whispered to Tommy’s sleeping form.

∞

Stirring from sleep, I lightly turned my head, eyes wide slightly and my heart racing against my chest as I tried to remember where I was before the memory started to come back. Winching at the slight throb running through my wrist, I pushed myself up carefully before dropping down again with a small groan as pain flared up through my side.  
Turning to look around the quiet room, I noticed the faint shadow of someone standing outside the room before I turned towards the chair to see Adam asleep in an awkward position, his head resting against his hand while the other hanged over the edge of the chair, almost as if it had slipped of the bed. Breathing in I couldn’t help the small smile which fell over my lips as I realized he kept his promise of not leaving me alone.

Resting back against the pillows, I breathed out and let my eyes close again as a wave of pain ran through my body, the bruises sore before I let my eyes open slowly again to turn back towards Adam, it truly looked like he had been sleeping in the chair all night, his hair ruffled and a mess, a slight flicker of discomfort on his face.   
Hearing the door of the room open, I felt myself flinch slightly before I noticed the nurse step inside with  gentle smile, her eyes moving towards Adam with another smile before she was stepping closer to the bed again, a clipboard being taken up from the bottom before she moved closer again.  
‘’Good morning, how are you feeling?’’ She asked quietly as I shrugged and winched at the slight throb.   
‘’Sore, a little pain but okay’’ I told her just as quietly as she nodded.   
‘’That’s normal and I can give you something for the pain’’ The nurse told me as I smiled thankfully,   
‘’has he been here all night?’’ I asked as she lifted her eyes to me before over to Adam again with a fond smile.   
‘’Since you were brought in from what I have heard, said that he didn’t care about his fame or who he was just that you were going to be okay, he got pretty upset and worried when no one came to inform him with how you were doing for a few hours’’ She smiled softly, ‘’he is a very dedicated friend…now I’ll go get you something for the pain poppet’’ She told me before she was leaving again. Sitting back in silence, I let my eyes close again with a heavy breath as I let the silence wash over.  ‘’Here you go poppet’’ Hearing the nurse’s voice again, I let my eyes open to see her walking in with a small cup of water and another small cup which I was sure was painkillers which she placed on the side before moving closer.   
Sitting up with her help, I let a sharp breath out as pain throbbed through my sides again and I closed my eyes as the nurse helped me to sit back.   
‘’Thanks’’ I whispered out as I opened my eyes again and carefully took the painkillers and water from her. Swallowing them down, I brought my hand up and lightly touched against my jaw before pulling away again.

‘’You’re awake’’ Hearing a tired voice before soft movement, I turned back to see Adam stirring, his hands coming up to rub at his eyes as he slowly pushed up, a small groan leaving his lips as he stretched before he was sitting forward, his hand moving back to mine again as I smiled softly. ‘’how long have you been awake…you should’ve woke me up so you weren’t alone’’ Adam told me with a soft squeeze.   
‘’Didn’t want to, you’ve done too much’’ I told him as he shook his head and pulled my hand up to kiss my knuckles.   
‘’Bull Tommy, I made you a promise’’ Adam told me as he looked up to look me in the eyes, the worry clear in his own as I swallowed slightly. ‘’I told you, im not letting anyone else hurt you’’

‘’Um excuse me’’ Turning towards the door at the same time as Adam and the nurse, I watched as an doctor stepped inside, ‘’there are officers at the front desk asking if Mr. Ratliff is ready to give a statement’’ The doctor asked as I felt the panic start to rise up again.  
‘’Tommy’’ Adam whispered softly as I turned to look at him, his hand squeezing mine softly, ‘’I wont go anywhere baby if you don’t want me too but it needs to be done’’ He whispered, ‘’he needs to be put away for what he’s done to you’’ He whispered, the pain clear in his eyes again as I swallowed slightly and nodded.   
‘’Im ready’’ I whispered out to the doctor as I turned back to see him nod and leave again with the nurse before I turned back to look at Adam, ‘’im so scared’’ I whispered to him as he let a small sound out and stood before he was sitting on the edge of the bed carefully, hand covering mine fully as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head before he was pulling away and resting his forehead against mine.   
‘’Im going to be here every step of the way baby, you’re not going to be alone ever again’’ He whispered.   
‘’Do you promise’’ I whispered.   
‘’I promise Tommy’’


	12. You come to me with scars on your wrist, this will be the last night feeling like this.

Watching as Tommy wrapped his arm around his middle, his steps slow, I couldn’t help but bite at my bottom lip as the nurse led us towards another room where the officers were waiting.   
‘’Adam…I can’t do this’’ Looking up as I heard Tommy’s soft voice, I saw the fear in his eyes as I stepped closer and let my hand slide in to his as I pressed a kiss to the side of his head.  
‘’It’s okay, im here for you’’ I whispered, ‘’you can do this baby’’ I told him as I pulled away and looked at him softly.   
‘’Im scared he wont go away’’ Tommy whispered as I swallowed slightly and turned to look towards the nurse.   
‘’Can we have a few moments’’ I asked as she nodded softly and stopped before leaning in to another room.   
‘’You can go in there if you like’’ She told me as I nodded and let Tommy step in ahead of me before  closed the door behind us and turned back to see him sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes down as I stepped closer and paused in front of him.  
‘’Baby, look at me’’ I spoke out softly as Tommy slowly raised his brown eyes, the fear and worry clear in them as I breathed out softly and reached up to brush a strand of hair behind his ear lightly. ‘’he is going to go away for everything he’s every done to you’’ I whispered, ‘’there’s evidence of  him hurting you, the guards from the hotel broke the door down to see him attacking you Tommy, there’s Sutan’s eye witness accounts of seeing bruises and marks over the years, Brad’s eye witness to how you reacted in the diner that day, what he saw that night and how you wouldn’t let anyone touch you’’ Breathing out slightly as tears filled his eyes, I moved and carefully sat on the bed beside him as he leaned in to me, his head against my shoulder. ‘’And then there’s what happened in the ambulance, Leo has all the tapes, the way you reacted, scared of him hurting you again’’ I whispered. ‘’im never going to leave you alone again Tommy’’

‘’Excuse me, the officers are here’’ Looking up, I noticed the door open and the Nurse stood beside two officers as I nodded and glanced back down at Tommy as he sat up and breathed out slightly.  
‘’We can come back if this isn’t a good time’’ One of the officers said before Tommy shook his head beside me.   
‘’No…I…im okay, lets do this’’ Tommy breathed out.   
‘’Okay, we can do it in here if you are more comfortable’’ The male officer spoke out as Tommy nodded,   
‘’I would like it here please’’ He whispered out.

Standing beside the window, I crossed my arms over my chest as Tommy slowly talked his way through the years of abuse, each encounter making my heart hurt even more before the anger started to build even more. Hearing Tommy speak, I couldn’t help but feel proud of him as well for being strong enough to do this.  
‘’Thank you very much Mr. Ratliff, I know this can be hard for you and it’s good to see that you have a friend who you can trust’’ The male officer spoke out as Tommy slowly looked over at me and I smiled softly at him.   
‘’We would like to take some photos of your injuries as more evidence’’ The female officer spoke out, watching as Tommy’s eyes turned back to look at them wide and afraid, I could almost sense the words he was going to say.   
‘’Why…no’’ Tommy breathed out before I slowly walked closer to the bed,   
‘’Tommy’’ I whispered softly as his eyes turned to me, the tears back again as I slowly reached across and let my fingers form over his. ‘’its okay baby, you can do it’’ I whispered as he glanced back to the officers and back to me again,   
‘’Mr. Ratliff, I know this is hard, but your case will no doubt go to court and the photos will help to put him away, to stop him from hurting others, but it’s best to get photos while all injuries are fresh and still visible to the eye’’ The officer spoke out again as Tommy swallowed and nodded softly.

Watching as Tommy stood against the white wall, I squeezed his fingers softly as he held his eyes closed as the female officer took a few photos of the bruises along his jaw, the finger shaped marks on his throat as a single tear slipped down his cheek. Fighting against the want to wipe it away, I waited for the officer to lower the camera before I reached up and brushed my thumb along his cheek gently, his brown eyes opening to look at me.  
‘’Mr. Ratliff, if you would please…remove your jacket so we can get your other injuries’’ The officer spoke out as Tommy’s eyes snapped back around to look at her.   
‘’My jacket’’ He whispered as she nodded, I frowned slightly as he swallowed, letting his hand go as he started to reach up, I stepped back again and kept my eyes on his face before he was sliding the jacket off his shoulders and down his arms. Taking it softly, I turned and placed it over the bed before I was turning back again.   
‘’Would you turn to you side and lift your arm Tommy’’ The male officer spoke out as he took note of the injuries like before while the other took the photographs, ‘’And the same again on your other side’’ watching as Tommy kept his eyes on the other side of the room as he turned before blinking a few times to clear the tears as he kept following the officers guides.   
‘’Arms out please’’ Glancing at the female officer as she spoke softly, and Tommy held his arms out in front of them, I breathed out softly and ran a hand over my face as I sat on the bed, I still couldn’t believe that someone we had gone to school with had hurt Tommy so badly that it made Tommy fear for his own life and enough to make him cut of contact with everyone who meant anything to him.   
‘’Thank you Mr. Ratliff’’’ The officer spoke out as I turned my eyes back up, ‘’but I have to ask about the scars’’ She spoke out as I frowned and looked at Tommy as he blinked and breathed out.   
‘’You want to know if he done them to me’’ He breathed out before his eyes met the officers again.   
‘’Yes’’ She spoke out.   
‘’No he didn’t.’’ He whispered out as a hand came up to his arms before one moved to spread his fingers over his side.   
‘’Tommy, if he did, you don’t have to lie for him’ I whispered out softly to him as Tommy blushed and let his eyes close, another tear slipping out over his cheek.  
‘’He didn’t do them Adam’’ He bit out, brown eyes opening to turn to stare at me which were filled with more tears. Feeling my heart break again, I moved away from the bed and wrapped my arms around him as he turned in to my chest, the first set of tears falling as he slowly broke, his own arms around my waist and fingers gripping my shirt tightly, ‘’I did it Adam…I hurt myself to escape his hurt’’ He cried out in to my chest. ‘’it was the only thing I had for myself, he couldn’t take that away from me’’

Breathing out, I curled my arms around him more and pressed my cheek against the top of his head as he shook with sobs, closing my own eyes, I pressed a kiss to the side of his head, a hand against the back of his neck while the other wrapped around the middle of his back.  
‘’Mr. Ratliff’’ Turning to look at the officer as she cleared her throat.   
‘’What needs to be done now’’  I asked as she looked at me,   
‘’Well we need for him to sign his statement’’ She told me, the feeling of Tommy still shaking slightly against my chest had me curling my arms around him more as I breathed out slightly.  
‘’I don’t think he’s up to signing anything right now’’ I told her as she nodded, an look of understandment on her face as she looked towards her partner and back again,   
‘’We can allow you to sign it as a eye witness, but in doing so you may be called up to speak during the trial, hearing the reaction of Mr. Ratliff from the person he’s allowed near him can help more than you think’’ She told me as I nodded.   
‘’I’ll sign it, I’ll do anything’’ Undoing one of my hands, I reached out and took the pen from her before I signed the bottom of the statement and a few other places again.   
‘’Thank you very Mr. Ratliff, Mr. Lambert, we will be in touch soon’’ The male officer spoke out before they moved and quickly left the room again.

Standing there for a while in silence just hugging Tommy, I buried my face in to his hair again and closed my eyes, I just wanted to protect Tommy and hold him until all the bad things went away in the world, I just wanted to see him smile freely and to laugh like I remembered from the few times I had come home to visit Sutan and the others.   
‘’I don’t want to be alone’ Tommy whispered against my chest as I shook my head.   
‘’Not going to let you baby’’ I whispered as his fingers grew tighter against my back, a fresh set of tears fallen and soaking in to my shirt but I couldn’t care any less as I let my fingers stroke over the back of his neck softly.

∞

Watching Tommy as he slept on the bed, his hoody back on and covering the bruises, I couldn’t help but think back to see the scars on his body, the way he had broken down and admitted that it was the only thing he had for himself in which Drake couldn’t take away from him. Shaking my head, I pushed myself up and left his room which we had returned to about twenty minutes after everything ended, I headed out the hallway and turned towards the nurse’s station.  
‘’Mr. Lambert is everything okay?’’ A nurse asked as I smiled softly and nodded.   
‘’Everything’s fine, I was just wondering if there was any chance of getting a message to one of our friends, he was with us when everything happened and he cares for Tommy like I don’t know what’’ I told her as she smiled softly and nodded.  
‘’Sure thing sweetheart, do you want to call him yourself?’’ She asked and I paused slightly before glancing over my shoulder and back again as I shook my head.   
‘’Could you, I don’t want to leave Tommy alone, could I just give you his details and could you ring just to inform him how Tommy is to ease some of the worry’’ I asked as she smiled sweetly and handed some paper and a pen over.  
‘’Of course’’ Writing down Sutan’s contact details, I handed it over with a smile before I quickly headed back towards Tommy’s room again and slipped back inside to see him still sleeping.

Breathing out softly, I walked over and pulled the blankets up over him carefully and tucked them around his shoulders before I leaned down and brushed a kiss across his temple, shifting back quickly as he stirred before settling again, I smiled softly and turned away as I walked closer to the window and leaned against to stare out.  
Outside, the sky was starting to get lighter with a new day dawning before I forced myself to turn back around and settle back down in to the chair beside Tommy’s bed again, my eyes watching his silent form for a few minutes before I rested my head back against the chair and let my eyes close lightly.   
Hearing muffled words, I quickly sat up and ran my hand over my face to see the room a lot brighter and Tommy shifting on the bed, face pulled tight before I moved and lightly found his hand and squeezed it softly as he settled back down again, cursing at myself silently for falling asleep, I edged the chair closer and leaned on the bed slightly, my eyes just watching Tommy’s face as it settled in to a more peaceful looking thing.

∞

‘’Tommy sweetheart’’ Stirring slightly as I heard a gentle voice speaking, I let my eyes blink open against the bright light before I turned to see a nurse crouched over the bed slightly, her voice low as I breathed out and brought my hand up to rub against my eyes, ‘’there’s a man outside wanting to come see you and we need you to Id him’’ She whispered as I nodded softly and she held a small phone up to show me a photograph.   
‘’That’s Sutan, he’s okay’’ I whispered back as she smiled and nodded, ‘’let him in’’ Listening to her leave, I breathed out and turned back over again to see Adam laid against the bed, his eyes closed and lips slightly parted in slip which had me smiling slightly before I noticed his hand in mine, the weight warm and safe as I turned and winched slightly at the pain which moved through my chest, curling around the way Adam was laid slightly, I let a heavy breath out before I let my eyes slide shut again as sleep started to tug me back under.

Hearing soft chatter, I stirred slightly again before there was a click and a touch against my arm which had me flinching slightly before my eyes was opening and I was turning on to my back, a small cry of pain leaving my lips before was staring up at Sutan with large eyes, my breath heavy as he raised his hands up so I could see them.   
‘’Im sorry sweetie, I didn’t mean to make you jump’’ He whispered as I swallowed and rested back on the bed again as Adam stirred and I turned my head to see him frowning in his sleep before his face smoothed out again. ‘’he really did stay didn’t he’’ Sutan chuckled softly as I turned to look at him and nod slightly.   
‘’Im fine’’ I told him, the look on his face had me knowing that he was going to ask how I was as I let a soft breath out and brought my hand up to rub against my eyes slightly, sleep still close. ‘’what time is it?’’ I asked with a small yawn as Sutan moved, his body twisting around, flinching slightly at the quickness of his movement, I swallowed and let a shallow breath, glad that neither Adam or Sutan saw it, I watched as he turned back with oft smile.  
‘’It’s just a little past eight sweetie, I tried to stay away for as long as I could but I just had to come and see how you were, I know Adam got one of the nurses to call me and let me know but it just isn’t the same with not seeing you in person’’ He told me as I nodded slightly.   
‘’Is Brad okay?’’ I asked him as he smiled and nodded.   
‘’Still a little spooked with seeing you like we all did but he’s doing okay, I left him asleep back at mine, he didn’t fall asleep until not that long ago and I didn’t want to wake him and I wasn’t sure if you would want to many people around you’’ He whispered as I nodded. ‘’Has the police been yet?’’   
‘’Came last night some time’’ I whispered as he nodded and settled his hands in his lap, his fingers together, almost like he wanted to reach out and touch me again.  
‘’That’s good, that bastad needs to be put away’’ He breathed out before he was standing and picking his bag up again, ‘’im going to head back again, I don’t want to crowd you too much sweetie’’ Sutan told me as I nodded softly before I lightly reached up with my free hand to touch against his which he quickly clasped.   
‘’Thank you’’ I whispered out to him.   
‘’What for Tommy’’ He asked as he stepped closer again and stroked his thumb across my knuckles.   
‘’But not believing in me when I tried to push you away and lied to you constantly’’ I told him as he let a wet choke out and squeezed my hand.   
‘’God I just want to hug and kiss you right now’’ He told me, the suddenly fear and panic rushing through my body had me swallowing slightly as shook his head. ‘’god baby, I wont, I know I wont okay, don’t worry’’ Sutan quickly whispered out to me with a soft squeeze, ‘’in your own time okay Tommy, just get yourself better’’ He told me as I nodded and watched as he left the room again.

Turning carefully to curl back up on my side again, I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt tears prickle at them, the sting there as I thought about how stupid I had been to be afraid of Sutan’s touch when I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, feeling a wetness slide down my cheek, I breathed out and quickly brushed it away again before I opened my eyes to look at Adam to see him still sleeping.  
Out of everything, I hated how things had to go to get Adam back in to my life again and I couldn’t help but think about his boyfriend…Nikolai, in the back of my mind, I wondered what he was thinking right now that Adam was with me and not with him instead and I felt myself start hating myself for taken Adam away from the place he should’ve been.

∞

‘’Hey, you’re awake’’ Hearing a sleepy voice, I turned away from the TV to see Adam rubbing at his eyes and lifting his head slightly, a slight groan leaving  his lips as he stretched his back out.   
‘’Yeah’’ I whispered back, not wanting to raise my voice any higher to disturb the quietness around us, the TV on a low volume in fear someone would complain about it.   
‘’TV’’ Adam chuckled as he glanced towards it, ‘’never would’ve taken you for a cooking program person’’ He grinned before it suddenly fell again and he blushed as he turned to look at me, ‘’Tommy…im’’ He started to say as I shook my head.   
‘’It’s fine Adam, really’’ I told him as he nodded slightly and glanced down before back up again with a small smile, the love and care clear in his eyes as his hand moved back up to mine again.  
‘’How are you feeling’’ He whispered as I shrugged a little and instantly regretted it as a throb went through my ribs.   
‘’Okay I guess’’ I told him softly as he nodded and let his eyes fall back to my hand as his thumb went across my knuckles. ‘’you should get back to your boyfriend, he’ll be wondering where yo are’’ I told him softly before I noticed the slight change in Adam’s shoulders.   
‘’I...uh, im not with anyone any more’’ He told me with a small sigh, ‘’me and Nikolai broke up about six months ago, he was cheating on me and Lane just wanted me to keep the break up quiet between us while the album went out’’   
‘’I’m sorry’’ I whispered as he shook his head and looked up at me with a smile.   
‘’Don’t be,’’ He told me, ‘’im right where I belong anyway’ He smiled weakly before he dropped his eyes again before moving up to look at the TV, there was something still in his eyes which I couldn’t place but decided to not to ask as I slowly turned back to watch the program, I just didn’t want to tell Adam that I had left it on this channel because it hurt my shoulder to much to try and reach for the controller again to change it.

A few hours later, I found myself waking up again to see Adam stood by the windows, his arms crossed over his chest and face turned out, the sunlight bright over him and highlighting his features before he sighed and rested his forehead against the glass.  
‘’Hey’’ I breathed out which had him turning quickly and returning to the chair with a soft smile.   
‘’Hey baby’’ He whispered back as he reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear before he paused as I flinched, ‘’sorry’’ He whispered as I closed my eyes and breathed out,   
‘’No, you shouldn’t have to be the one saying sorry’’ I told him as I opened my eyes again to look at him, the argument clear on his face before the door opened and we both turned to see a doctor walk in with a bunch of forms.   
‘’good news is that your injuries are not too bad so you can go home today whenever you are ready ‘’ The doctor told me with a smile, ‘’just fill these out and drop them by the nurse’s station on the way out’’ He told me before settling the forms down on the small table at the end of the bed,   
‘’What’s the bad news?’’ I asked thickly.   
‘’No bad news Mr. Ratliff’’ the doctor told us with a smile before he was nodding and heading back out the room again.   
‘’Easy for you to say’’ I muttered to myself as I let my eyes close.   
‘’Tommy’’ Turning to look at Adam again, I couldn’t help but sigh, ‘’I have no insurance’’ I whispered quietly, my eyes falling as I felt the shame run through my body, ‘’Drake wouldn’t let me get a job so I have no money and he never took me to the hospital apart from once’’ I admitted.  
‘’It’s okay baby, I’ll cover that all for you’’ Adam told me as I looked back up at him, ‘’that’s if you will let me’’ he whispered as I nodded slightly.   
‘’You don’t have too, I can find a way’’ I told him as he smiled and reached over for the forms.   
‘’I want to Tommy’’ Nodding slightly, I let the room go quiet as Adam started to fill out some of the insurance forms before he paused and frowned at something, the pen tapping against the paper before he filled another thing out.

Biting my lip as I watched him, I knew that being discharged meant going home and I knew that home meant back to the apartment Drake had and I knew I didn’t want to be there anymore but there was no where else to go, my parents and I hadn’t spoken in a few years because of him and most of my friends had turned their backs on me when I pushed them away.   
‘’I want to stay with you’’ I spoke out before I could stop myself, my words making Adam pause and look up at me blankly before a grin appeared out over his lips as he nodded.  
‘’I would like that’’ He told me softly, ‘’I was going to ask you to come stay with me, I didn’t want you going back to that place’’ He admitted with a soft blush as his hand reached out for mine again and I let my fingers curl around his.

Yeah Adam was safe, Adam was freedom.


	13. Let's go home.

‘’Where are you going’’ Turning to look towards Tommy, I watched the quick flash of fear run over his face before I smiled softly and turned away from the door to walk back to the side of his bed.  
‘’Im just going to go make a phone call to Isaac, you remember him don’t you baby?’’ I asked as Tommy frowned slightly before nodding.   
‘’It was his room we went too’’ He told me softly as I smiled,  
‘’Good, I need to phone him so he can pick us up okay’’ I told Tommy softly before reaching up to lightly brush a strand of hair away from his eyes, ‘’he was the one who drove me to the reunion, he will stop off at the hotel first to get our things before he will come get us and take us home’’  
‘’Home’’ Tommy whispered as I smiled softly and nodded.  
‘’Yeah baby, home’’   
‘’Okay’’ Leaning forward, I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and paused with my eyes closed before I opened them again and pulled away,   
‘’I’ll only be gone a few minutes okay but then I’ll be right back’’ I told him as he nodded. Standing back up again, I moved towards the door and pulled it open before I glanced back at Tommy to see him watching me, smiling softly again, I turned back around and glanced down towards the nurse’s station before across the hallway to where there was a row of pay phones. Walking towards them, I pulled the loose change out my pocket and quickly counted it before I started to slot some in to the payphone and quickly punched in Isaac’s number.

‘’Carpenter speaking’’ Hearing Sophie’s voice, I smiled softly to myself.   
‘’Hey Sophie, is Isaac home?’’ I asked before there was brief silence.   
‘’He sure is Adam, how are you sweetie, Isaac told me everything which happened’’ She asked as I sighed and leaned against the wall,   
‘’Tired and just wanting to go home now’’ I told her truthfully.   
‘’How’s Tommy?’’ She asked quietly, smiling softly, I turned my head and glanced back towards his room where I could see that he had sat up and swung his legs around the side of the bed.  
‘’Doing a little better, but still scared to be alone, I think. But he’s given his statement to the police and his injuries have been photographed and documented, I gave mine while Tommy was asleep a while back so it’s just a waiting game now’’   
‘’Oh sweetie, Isaac’s here now, I’ll put him on’’  
‘’Thanks Sophie’’ I told her.  
‘’Adam is everything okay?’’ He asked.   
‘’Just fine, I was wondering if you would pick mine and Tommy’s things up from the hotel before coming to get us and taking us back to mine, Tommy’s been discharged and he’s going to stay with me, didn’t want to go back to the apartment and I don’t blame him, I don’t think I would’ve let him if he had wanted too’’ I breathed out before there was a soft laugh on the other end.   
‘’Don’t worry, I’ve already got your things and checked you out, I’ll be there in about thirty minutes boss man’’  
‘’Thanks Isaac’’ Smiling softly as I ended the call, I grabbed my change before I was turning and quickly heading back to Tommy’s room to see it empty, panicking slightly, I turned and looked towards the small bathroom as a chain flushed and the door opened to revel Tommy walking out slowly, his arm wrapped around his ribs before he looked up at me.

‘’Isaac’s going to be about half an hour’’ I told him as he nodded and slowly walked back towards the bed again, ‘’is there anything I can get you?’’ I asked as Tommy shook his head.   
‘’Im fine’’ He told me before carefully sitting back down again, eyes darting towards the bag Sutan had brought in before he turned back to me, ‘’actually could you grab me that?’’ He asked as I smiled softly and nodded.  Taking it over to him, I placed it down on the bed beside him before pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head and moved away again.  
‘’Oh we haven’t taken your forms back yet’’ I spoke out once I noticed them sat on the end of the bed and on the small tray. ‘’im going to go take them back while you dress’’ I told him as he nodded.

∞

Watching Adam leave and close the door behind him, I breathed out deeply and turned my attention to the bag Sutan had left behind with him and started to undo it before looking at the clothes, smiling softly at the thought, I pulled a pair of pants out before I stood up slowly and started to push my sweat pants down before pulling my pants on slowly. Winching slightly as a small throb ran through my ribs again as I done them up and turned back to grab a top.

Changed and old clothes pushed in the bag, I glanced around the empty room slightly and tried to breathe out calmly again, I knew that I was still safe but I couldn’t help but feel the small amount of fear and panic rise up inside my chest as I thought about Drake breaking out and coming to find me. Moving around the bed, I lowered myself in to the chair before I felt the soft touch of material under my fingertips and glanced down to see Adam’s jacket, lifting it up, I held it close to my nose and breathed his scent in before I found myself slipping my arms through it and pulling it around me tightly as I settled back in the chair again and turned back to look towards the TV which was playing quietly, I felt safe around Adam and I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me like Drake did, I wondered if I trusted him more than anyone else because of the crush I knew I still had on him or whether or not it was because he never stopped pushing until the truth was found out.   
I knew that Sutan and Brad done the same thing, but at the same time they had backed away a little when I pushed them away but Adam never, part of me still wondered how Adam had found me on the stairwell after I had first left Drake’s room and ran but I pushed the thoughts away as I let a breath out and turned back as the door opened, my heart beat spiking slightly before it fell again when I noticed that it was only Adam.

‘’So I was thinking, for dinner we could order in or see what I have around the cupboards and fridge and maybe cook something up’’ Adam spoke out as he sat down on the bed and stretched out a little, a grin on his lips as I nodded with a small smile.  
‘’It’s up to you’’ I told him before his grin fell slightly and he shrugged.   
‘’Your choice baby’’ He told me as I nodded. I knew that he was trying to give me the choice with everything and let me have my own freedom again after Drake took everything I had for me away.   
‘’Take away sounds nice’’ I told Adam after a while, his eyes moving away from the TV to look at me with a smile as he nodded and turned back again. Watching Adam for a few minutes, I felt my cheeks warm up slightly before I turned away and shuffled slightly in the chair before I was pushing myself up carefully, moving towards the window, I let myself stare out of it for a while before I was moving away again and walking slowly towards the bed.  
Climbing up carefully again, I laid out beside Adam who glanced over before handing the controller over to me, flipping through a few stations, I finally settled on a film I wasn’t sure what it was about before I was placing the controller on his stomach again. Letting the room fall to silence again, I couldn’t help but yawn a little before moving closer to Adam and rested my head against his shoulder as his arm shifted and curled around my knee which was bent towards him.

∞

Hearing the knock on the door, I lifted my head slightly as it opened again to see one of the nurse’s walk in with a smile as she glanced towards Tommy who was curled against my side; his head still on my shoulder and my hand wrapped around his knee softly still from where he had moved and fell asleep.  
‘’Your friend Isaac is here Mr. Lambert, we have gotten him to park at the back of the hospital so the press doesn’t see you leave’’ She told me as I nodded.   
‘’Thank you’’ Watching her leave, I reached for the controller on my stomach and turned the TV off before I placed it on the side board and turned to Tommy. ‘’baby’’ I whispered as he stirred slightly, ‘’time to wake up, Isaac is here’’ I said a little louder before he jumped and winched. Frowning, I ran a hand down his side gentle before his eyes snapped open. ‘’Hey…Shh its okay Tommy, it’s only me baby’’ I told him softly as he breathed out deeply and nodded slightly.   
‘’Sorry’’ He whispered as I shook my head.   
‘’You have nothing to be sorry about’’ I told him, ‘’but Isaac is here now, come on, lets go home’’ I whispered as he nodded softly.

Helping him to sit up, I moved and grabbed his shoes before kneeling down in front of him and helped to push them on to his feet with some socks before I was standing again and brushing a kiss against the top of his head as he blushed.  
‘’Didn’t want you hurting your ribs’’ I whispered softly as he nodded and took my hand as he stood with a slight winch, standing in front of him, I stared down at him as he slowly looked up at me, his eyes flashing with different emotions before he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and buried his face in to my neck. Wrapping my own arms around him softly, I let a soft breath out and buried my face in to his hair, ‘’not going to let anyone else hurt you ever again, I promise you Tommy’’ I whispered as he nodded against me, his hands flat against my back before they slowly curled around my top, feeling the faint touch of his lips against my neck, I let my eyes slide close and held him closer as I ran a hand down his back carefully.   
‘’Let’s go home’’ I heard him whisper as I smiled and nodded. Pulling away, I grabbed his bag and then held my hand out which he looked at before taking it softly.

Walking out of the room, I glanced down at our hands before up at Tommy as he wrapped his other back around his ribs again, letting go, I pulled the door closed behind us and shifted the bag to move up over my shoulder before I turned to see Tommy walking slowly towards the elevators before I caught up and placed a hand on his lower back softly.   
‘’Mr. Lambert, Mr. Ratliff’’ Turning, I looked to see the same nurse who had come in beforehand coming towards us with a smile, ‘’if you would like to follow me, I’ll lead you down to where your friend is waiting for you, security is already around to make sure that no press or media get past’’ She informed us as I nodded.   
‘’Thank you’’ Turning to look at Tommy, I could see the nerves on his face as I stepped closer again and let my arm rest against his back more which I felt him lean in to before we were following her past the elevators we were going to us and towards another set further down the hall where she swiped her ID card. Waiting for the doors to open, I thought about everything which had happened over the past two days before we were stepping inside, leaning against the wall, I let my head rest back and eyes close as the elevator started moving, my mind thinking over everything still yet to happen and what could happen.  
‘’Adam’’ Hearing Tommy’s soft voice, I let my eyes open to see him stood in front of me, the nurse holding the doors open still before I smiled softly.  
‘’Sorry, lost in thought’’ I told him as he nodded and slowly stepped out, following him, I let my fingers link through with Tommy’s as the nurse pointed us towards a door.  
‘’Just head through there and you will be in the staff parking lot, your friend is near the end’’ Nodding towards her as she climbed back inside, I gave Tommy’s hand a soft squeeze before we started to walk towards the lot.

‘’Adam’’ Looking up, I smiled when I noticed Isaac pushing away from the car, the keys in his hands as he smiled towards us, ‘’hey Tommy’’   
‘’Hi’’ Tommy whispered out before his arm was moving around his ribs more as I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple softly.  
‘’Did you get through okay?’’ I asked as he nodded,  
‘’Yup, the frogs are still too busy out front, im surprised they never realize that you slip out the back entrance more than the front’’ Isaac laughed as I grinned and handed the bag over to him which he quickly put away in the trunk. ‘’I dropped your things off at your place first so you can go straight in’’  
‘’Thanks Isaac, seriously, you are a life saver’’ I told him as he grinned brightly. Pulling open the bag door for Tommy, I watched as he climbed inside carefully before I closed the door and headed around and slipped in to the back with him as Isaac moved back behind the wheel.  
‘’You don’t have to sit back here with me’’ Tommy told me quietly before I shrugged and smiled at him.   
‘’I wanted too’’ I told him honestly which brought a small smile to his face as he nodded.   
‘’Oh Lane wants you to call her soon’’ Isaac spoke out as I turned to look at him before groaning.   
‘’Any chance you can be my amazing drummer, life saver and everything else and take her calls for a few more days?’’ I asked as Isaac started to pull out of the space.   
‘’No chance, sorry Adam but she scares me to much’’ He laughed as we pulled out in to the sunlight of the afternoon and I groaned.   
‘’She scares me too’’ I mumbled before I turned slightly and leaned down to rest my head against Tommy’s shoulder softly, a small smile on his face before I gave his hand a soft squeeze.


	14. Chapter 14

Seeing the house as Isaac pulled up, I let a soft breath out, glad that we were free of any cameras and media as he typed the codes in to the gate and it opened up slowly, feeling my phone start vibrating in my pocket, I leaned back against the car seat a little as I pulled it out to see Lane’s name flashing across the screen before I groaned slightly.   
‘’Speak of the devil and she shall call’’ I spoke out which had Isaac laughing softly and shaking his head before I locked my phone and pushed it back in to my pocket and glanced over to Tommy to see him staring out of the window and towards the house with a closed of expression.

Car parked, I let a breath out and gave Tommy’s hand a small squeeze which had him turning to look towards me slowly as I smiled. Letting his hand go softly, I pushed the door opened and climbed out as Tommy done the same along with Isaac’s help slightly.  
Grabbing the bag out the trunk, I closed it again and walked around as Isaac held out the house keys for me and I took them with a smile before he laughed and I pulled him in to a hug.   
‘’Thank you so much Isaac, really’’ I told him as I pulled away again and he grinned.   
‘’It’s been no trouble Adam, I would do anything for you guys and you know it’’ He told me as I nodded with a grin before I glanced over at Tommy to see him staring off across the yard, ‘’I think Sophie wants to come and visit you soon too’’ Turning back, I nodded slightly and trailed my tongue across my lower lip before I shifted the bag in my hands slightly.   
‘’That’s cool, just get her to give me a ring before hand to double check that im home, oh and tell her that everything will still be fine for that party in a few weeks’’ I told him as Isaac’s eyes glanced towards Tommy before he nodded and pulled the car door open again.  
‘’Alright, I’ll see you soon’’ He told me as I nodded and took a step back before hands wrapped around my arm and I turned to see Tommy leaning against my side slightly.   
‘’Is he going already’’ Tommy asked as I leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head as I nodded.   
‘’Yeah, he’s got to get back to his wife, Sophie wants to come visit soon if you feel up to it’’ I told him as he nodded. ‘’why don’t you go up in to the house and make yourself feel at home while I close the gate’’ I told him before handing my keys over as he gave me a small smile.   
‘’You don’t mind?’’ He asked as I smiled and shook my head.   
‘’Not at all Tommy, after all, my home is your home okay, you can do whatever you want to in there’’  
‘’Thank you’’ Tommy whispered as his fingers curled around the keys a little tighter before he let my arm go and started to walk towards the house, my jacket a little big around his shoulder and down his arms before I sighed and started towards the gate.

.o0o.

Feeling the weight of Adam’s keys in my hand, I couldn’t help but feel a new wave of something I wasn’t sure about wash over me as I got to the door, glancing over my shoulder, I looked down towards Adam to see him locking the gate up at the bottom of the drive again before he was pausing and running his fingers through his hair, I knew that I didn’t want to be any trouble for him and I wondered if I was taking things to far with staying with Adam. Swallowing slightly, I looked up towards him again to see him turning away, his eyes meeting mine with a smile before I turned back and found the right key, pushing it in to the lock, I turned it slowly before pushing the door opened before pausing again when I heard Adam start talking. Looking over my shoulder and towards him, I noticed his phone against his ear and a slight frown on his face before I forced myself to turn and step inside his home.

Slowly walking through the hall, I paused and slowly toed my shoes off and moved them against the wall to where I noticed had some before I was stepping further through, my footsteps quiet against the hardwood flooring before I turned the corner and in to a large open planned kitchen, lounge area.  
‘’No I said I will sort everything out Lane, you don’t have to do anything apart move some things around’’ Hearing Adam’s voice before the door closing, I bit at my lip and listened as he walked in and then what I guessed was up the stairs as his footsteps and voice grew quiet.   
I knew that Adam had told me to make myself at home but somewhere in the back of my mind I still had Drake’s voice whispering things to me as I breathed out and tred to push them away, I was with Adam and I knew I was safe with Adam.  
Walking towards the couch in the corner of the room, I slowly lowered myself down, a hand rubbing over my side softly before I was sitting back against the soft pillows and bringing my legs up carefully.

~

‘’No he’s still sleeping at the moment’’ Adam’s voice whispered out as I stirred slightly, the weight of a blanket on me as I opened my eyes to see the room a little darker before I slowly looked around as Adam laughed softly, ‘’no we are fine, going to order something in, I still have menus around somewhere, probably stuffed in the draw with everything else’’   
Pushing the blanket away softly, I pushed myself up carefully and turned my head slightly to see Adam in the kitchen, his body leaning against a counter, his back towards me as he talked on the phone, standing quietly, I wrapped my arm around my body again as a small throb ran through my ribs before I tugged Adam’s jacket around me closer and started to walk towards the kitchen, ‘’I don’t know…I’ll have to ask him first’’ Adam told the person softly before he turned as I let a small breath out as I tripped a little. ‘’shit are you okay?’’ Adam asked as he jammed the phone between his ear and shoulder and walked over quickly, hands moving to my shoulders as I nodded.  
‘’Just fine’’ I whispered as he nodded, feeling the soft stroke of his thumb against the skin on my neck, I kept my eyes closed as one of his hands moved away before the other slipped down my arm until he reached my hand and linked his fingers through mine.  
‘’No I was talking to Tommy…yes he’s awake now, yes I’ll ask him, okay’’ Adam sighed before he pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed it against his shoulder as he turned back.  
‘’Ask me what?’’ I asked him quietly as I slowly raised my eyes to his face.   
‘’Brad wanted to know if you felt okay enough for him to come and see you tonight with Sutan’’ He asked as I swallowed slightly and thought about it, I knew that I was safe with them all but I still couldn’t help but feel the little bit of fear run through me at the thought of being alone with three guys before I breathed through the fear and slowly nodded.   
‘’Let them’’ I whispered out as Adam looked at me, ‘’I need to learn to be around other people not just you’’ I added as Adam smiled softly and gave my hand a squeeze.   
‘’Okay baby, why don’t you go find the menus, I think they are in the second draw down beside the fridge, pick something you want to eat’’

Nodding softly, I let a small smile touch the edge of my lips as Adam squeezed my hand again and let go, his feet carrying him around the kitchen and towards the back patio where he pushed the doors open slightly to let a breeze in, glancing out, I couldn’t help but notice that the sky was fading to a darker color and I wondered how long I was really asleep for.  
Finding the menus after a few minutes of searching, I heard the front door open and close again before I was jumping and looking up and towards the hallway before footsteps got closer, letting my eyes dart towards the second set of stairs leading upstairs, I wished that Adam would come down suddenly so I wasn’t alone.  
‘’What are you doing here?’’ Adam’s voice sounded out from the other end of the hallway when footsteps stopped again just before the turn as I swallowed and slowly pushed the draw shut, not wanting to cause a distraction before I was looking down at the menus.  
‘’You told me to come around because you had packed some of my things up and that you wanted the house key back to the apartment if  I moved out which I am’’ Another voice spoke out before there was a sigh and footsteps coming through.  
Shrinking back in to Adam’s jacket a little, I kept my head down slightly before I turned around to Adam’s fridge and pulled it open, my eyes moving over everything.  
‘’Yeah…sorry I forgot…but how did you get in anyway?’’ Adam asked, his voice louder as their footsteps came around the corner.   
‘’you gave me a key to this place to get my stuff’’  
‘’Oh, yeah, but I want it back as well as the apartment key’’  Pulling two bottles of water out, I folded one in to the crook of my arm before I pushed the fridge closed softly and slowly turned to place them on the middle island, my eyes glancing up through my hair to see Adam’s back towards me before I noticed the other guy, Nikolai, my mind supplied me, his own eyes glancing towards me which made me drop mine quickly as I tried to open my own bottle, my hands shaking before I swallowed a little before placing it down again, unopened as I  pushed my hands in to the pockets of Adam’s jacket.

‘’Hey Adam…he doesn’t look too good’’ Nikolai’s voice spoke out quietly as I felt myself shake again as I leaned against the counter, my eyes on the menus as I tried to block out the thought of another man being near me.  
‘’Shit, just leave the two keys and take your stuff Nikolai, just go’’ Adam’s voice spoke out before his footsteps was moving closer and I felt a hand slide in to his pocket and over mine as I glanced up through my hair as Adam pulled me in to his chest. ‘’its okay baby’’ He whispered in to my ear as I moved my hands form the pockets and wrapped them around his waist tightly. ‘’not going to let anyone hurt you, I promised you that’’  
‘’Adam…’’  
‘’Just leave Nicolai please, you are not helping’’ Adam spoke out from above me, ‘’you should’ve called before you just turned up so just get the hell out of my house and life’’ He snapped, arms staying around me tightly as I felt him turn back around and press a kiss to the top of my head. ‘’im sorry Tommy’’ He whispered against my temple, ‘’I didn’t mean to raise my voice im not him, I wouldn’t hurt you’’ He whispered and I quickly realized that I was shaking again and I felt bad as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and held on to him as the footsteps faded away and a door opened and closed quietly.

.o0o.

With dinner ordered, Adam took my hand and started to lead me towards the stairs before up them slowly as he talked about different things before it turned to where everything was, his other hand pointing different rooms out and where the bathroom was before he paused in the hallway, a door on either side before I noticed my bag on the floor still.   
‘’I wasn’t sure’’ Adam told me softly as he noticed my eyes on the bag, ‘’that’s my bedroom’’ He told me before pointing to the door which was opened slightly before he was pointing towards the other, ‘’and that’s the spare room, I wasn’t sure where you wanted to stay’’  
‘’The spare will be okay’’ I told him quietly as he nodded.   
‘’It has its own bathroom as well so you don’t have to worry about waking me up if you need the bathroom at any time of night’’ Adam explained as he pushed the door open and I glanced in to see a large room, a double bed against the far side and in the middle with a unit beside each side holding a lamp, to the far side was another open doorway which I could see tiled flooring so I guessed it was the bathroom before other bits of furniture took up other spaces.  
‘’It’s fine Adam’’ I told him softly as he nodded and traced his thumb over the back of my hand as he leaned down to pick my bag up,   
‘’why don’t you change in to something comfortable while I sort the dinner out once it turns up, shower if you want to and I will let you know if  Sutan and Brad turns up while you’re still up here’’ He told me as I nodded softly and let his hand go to take my bag which he gave me carefully before his lips was pressing another kiss to my temple which had me closing my eyes as I breathed out slightly.

Looking up at Adam as he stepped away, I watched as he walked in to his own room, his door left open before he moved out of view and I turned slowly in to my own room before I stepped inside slowly, part of me wanted to be selfish and say that I wanted to stay in Adam’s room with him, but I also knew that that part of me just wanted to be near him so I knew that I was safe but I also knew that I had to try and cope on my own as much as I could, being hurt by Drake wasn’t going to go away quickly nor would the memories and I had to take each day as it came.  
Setting my bag on the bed, I paused for a moment to look around before I was turning back and undoing my bag to take some of my cleaner stuff out before I moved towards a drawer and pulled it open to see it already filled with clothes which looked like Adam’s size which made me pause slightly and glance down at my own which I ended up placing on top before I grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a grey hooded sweater with faded NARDA NYE writing across the back in faded black lettering. Heading towards the bathroom, I placed them on the closed toilet seat before I started to undress, my back to the mirror as I reached in to his shower and turned it on.

Settling under the water after un-wrapping my ribs, I let a breath out at the warmness as the water fell down over my shoulders and along my back before I shifted slightly to pull the spray away from a bruise directly where it had been hitting. Showered and dried off, I pulled Adam’s track pants on and tightened them as much as I could at the waist, I moved back towards where I left the grip bandages when a knock on the bedroom door had me pausing slightly.  
‘’Baby, the food’s here’’ Adam spoke out as I slowly walked towards the bathroom door and looked out as I nodded.   
‘’Could you…could you help me?’’ I asked, my ribs had started to hurt again from being unwrapped and it hurt a little to lift my arms, so re wrapping them was harder as Adam smiled softly and walked towards me.  
‘’What do you need?’’ He asked as I turned and walked back in to the bathroom and picked the grip bandages up and turned back to see him glancing towards his old college sweater before back at me with a soft smile.   
‘’I need help, it hurts to lift my arms too much’’ I told him quietly as he nodded and walked over.

Feeling his fingers brush mine as he took it from me, I let a soft breath out and held the one end to my side as Adam carefully wrapped the rest around my ribs tightly like we had been shown before he was reaching for the clips and sliding them in to place before he reached over for his sweater and moved it up for me to slip my arms inside before he was carefully pulling it up over my head and down again, his hands brushing my sides and hips bas he settled it in to place.  
‘’Thanks’’ I whispered shyly as he nodded.   
‘’Its okay Tommy, don’t be afraid to ask for help okay baby, im never going to laugh at you or say o’’ He told me as I nodded slightly.  
Following Adam downstairs slowly, I tugged at the edge of his sweater before I followed him towards the counter where the bags were with the food, helping to unpack it and undo the boxes as Adam got the plates, I couldn’t help but let a small smile grace my lips as Adam let a moan out at the smell of the food before he was laughing. ‘’Haven’t had fast food in a long time’’ He grumbled out to himself before his eyes lifted and met mine, a blush forming over his cheeks as he smiled towards me. ‘’I didn’t say that’’ He told me as I shrugged a little.   
‘’Didn’t hear anything’’ I told him as he grinned

.o0o.

Dropping the dishes in to the sink, I started to head back across and towards the TV to put a new film on when the doorbell rang and I glanced up to see Tommy’s head snap towards the hallway before he turned back to look towards me.  
‘’It’s just Brad and Sutan baby’’ I told him as he nodded slightly and settled back down under the covers I had brought down from upstairs, pressing play on the movie, I headed through the hallway and towards the front door and pulled it open to see them both stood there with a smile on their faces.  
‘’Hello lovely’’ Brad grinned out as I chuckled softly and pressed a kiss back to his cheek before doing the same with Sutan as he stepped inside. ‘’we brought ice cream and whiskey’’ Brad teased as I rolled my eyes slightly.   
‘’I swear you have magic powers or something, we’ve just put a new film on’’ I told them as I closed the door again and watched as they toed their shoes and pulled their jackets off.   
‘’Oh good’’ Brad teased as I rolled my eyes slightly and bit at my lip as I glanced back at the hallway and turned back again.  
‘’Try and keep it low please Bra’’ I whispered to him, ‘’Nikolai was here earlier to pick his things up and Tommy reacted slightly and he wasn’t even near him’’ I whispered as Brad looked at me and towards the corner before he nodded.   
‘’Well come on, or are we going to spend the night in the hallway?’’ Sutan asked as I laughed softly and started to walk back through.

Walking back over to the couch, I sat back down beside Tommy again as he glanced up and sent a timid smile towards the other two as Sutan walked over and sat down on Tommy’s other side.  
‘’How are you feeling honey’’ He asked as Tommy shrugged a little.   
‘’Sore a little still, but im okay, just glad to be out of the hospital’’ Tommy told him as Sutan smiled and I turned to see Brad moving around the kitchen.   
‘’Brad, what are you doing?’’ I called out as he looked over with a grin.   
‘’Trying to find your spoons unless you really want to eat ice cream with your fingers’’ He called back as I shook my head slightly and turned towards the TV to see the advertisements still playing.   
‘’You brought ice cream?’’ Tommy asked as I turned to look at him, his brown eyes looking towards Brad as he paused and looked over with a soft smile before he nodded.  
‘’And whiskey…through we could have old times again’’ He smiled as Tommy bit at his lip slightly before nodding. ‘’ah-ha found them’’ Brad called out before he was walking towards us with four spoons in his hands and a bag in the other.  
Feeling Tommy move closer to me again, I let my arm raise up along the back of the couch as he leaned in to my side and put more space between him and Sutan which had me worried slightly before he pulled the covers back and I quickly realized that he was making room for Brad as he sat down carefully.   
‘’What are we watching?’’ Sutan asked as he settled closer to Brad and pulled the covers over his legs.   
‘’Reign of fire’’ Tommy spoke out quietly, ‘’it has dragons in it’’ He shrugged before Sutan looked at me and I shrugged too.   
‘’It was in my collection, could possible Nikolai’s I don’t know’’ I chuckled as he nodded and I looked over at Brad as he held a spoon towards me and I took it from him before he handed one to Tommy who took it shyly before mumbling a thanks.

Watching as the dragon attacked the people harvesting the crop’s, I couldn’t help but drop my eyes down to Tommy to see his spoon still sat on top of the covers and clean from where he hadn’t eating any of the ice cream yet before I looked up and glanced towards Sutan who was watching him too before he turned back to the film and I pressed a soft kiss to the top of Tommy’s head as I rested mine against his and let my thumb stroke over his side where I had wrapped my arm around him.  
Watching as he picked the spoon up and started to eat some, I smiled softly before turning my eyes back to the screen again to see more trucks turning up to rescue the ones left. I was glad that Tommy felt comfortable between us, even if he was sat more towards me then the others, it showed that he was a little better towards them and it felt like old times again when we used to do this. Looking over as Brad said my name, I took the bottle of Whiskey from him and pressed it to my lips slightly and swallowed a mouthful down, the amber liquid burning my throat a little before I rested it on my thigh and yawned slightly. Feeling fingers touch against mine, I glanced down to see Tommy’s hand reaching for the bottle before I was unwrapping my own and letting him take it before I was turning back to the screen again with a small smile.


	15. The Trial

‘’Do I really have to be there?’’ Tommy asked as he paused in the doorway to my bedroom and I turned to look at him, my eyes taking in the dark suit he was wearing, his tie still undone around his neck as I smiled softly.  
‘’They want you there baby’’ I told him softly as I walked over and started to do his tie for him. ‘’he isn’t going to be able to touch you okay’’ I whispered as he swallowed slightly, brown eyes meeting mine with a small amount of fear in them.   
‘’But he’s going to be there’’ He whispered, ‘’Adam I don’t think I can do this’’ Tommy admitted as I finished his tie and ran my hands down his arms softly.   
‘’Yes you can Tommy, these past few weeks has been amazing for you, you just need to answer their questions truthfully and he will get locked away where he cant hurt you or anyone else ever again’’ I told him softly as he swallowed slightly.  
‘’And you’ll stay with me’’ He asked as I smiled and nodded.   
‘’Every step of the way baby, the only place I wont be able to be is when you get called up on the stand but I will still be there, so will Sutan and Brad and everyone else’’

Heading downstairs with his hand in mine, I glanced across the kitchen to see Brad and Sutan both stood together near one of the counters before they were turning and walking over to pull Tommy in to a large hug as I let his hand go and walked towards the fridge, pulling it open, I grabbed a couple of bottles of water and placed them on the center counter before I picked one up for myself and twisted the cap off as I breathed out and turned my eyes back towards the other three.  
I was proud at how far Tommy had come to being around over males in the past three weeks of being back from the hospital that he didn’t mind hugging or being touched by people he knew well.

.o0o.

Waiting outside of the courtroom, I couldn’t help but breathe out deeply as I turned and looked towards Tommy who was sat out the way on one of the benches beside the door, his hands clasped together and locked between his knees, brown eyes on the floor in front of him.  
‘’Drake, I would advise you not to go near’’ Turning, I looked across the hallway from where I was stood to see him stood with someone, his cold eyes looking around before stopping on Tommy, a cold smile curling his lips before I was turning around and moved closer to Tommy as Sutan and Brad walked over, their eyes meeting mine, emotions clear on their faces as they glanced over my shoulder.   
‘’Hey baby’’ I whispered out to Tommy as I crouched in front of him, the other two moving in behind to block his view as Tommy smiled weakly at me, ‘’how you feeling?’’ I asked as he shrugged slightly.   
‘’As good as you could be while sat in the same hall as your attacker’’ Tommy told me, his eyes moving to Sutan and Brad behind me as I stared at him. ‘’I now you’re all trying to hide me from him but I know he’s there, I saw him walk in’’ He admitted as I reached over and squeezed his hand softly.   
‘’You’re doing good Tommy’’ I told him as he nodded slightly, his hand turning over to squeeze mine.   
‘’I’m still scared’’ He whispered as I stood and pulled him to his feet before in to a hug which he returned.   
‘’Its okay to be scared Tommy, but he isn’t going to hurt you any more, we will all make sure of that’’ I whispered.   
‘’Mr. Lambert…Mr. Ratliff, it’s time’’ Turning to look at Tommy’s lawyer, I squeezed Tommy once more before I was letting him go, my hand sliding down to his lower back as he nodded.

Heading in to the court room, I moved towards the front with Tommy and his lawyer before we was sitting down in the chairs. Before long we were standing again as the judge entered before sitting as he preceded the court to be in motion and asked for silence.  
Listening to the opening claims, I kept my hand wrapped around Tommy’s which was set on my thigh, his own leg bouncing softly as he swallowed thickly, his eyes dead straight on the judge as he started to speak himself before he was calling the first witness up.

Half an hour later, I was biting at the inside of my own lip as Tommy was called up on to the stand, his eyes meeting mine briefly as I gave a soft nod towards him before he was turning towards the lawyer defending Drake.  
‘’Mr. Ratliff, you were with the accused for how long?’’ He asked as Tommy swallowed.   
‘’Six years sir’’ He spoke out, his voice rough a little as the man nodded.   
‘’And how far in to the relationship did the abuse supposedly start?’’   
‘’About a year, a yeah and half’’  
‘’So you were with my  client for four and half, say five years before you left him…why so long? Did you stay for the sex or the roof over your head’’   
‘’I object your honor, what does that have to do with my clients case’’ Tommy’s lawyer called out as he stood, the judge turning to look at him before he shook his head and turned back.  
‘’Mr. Ratliff, please answer the question.’’   
‘’I…I was scared to leave him sir’’ Tommy got out as his eyes moved from the judge to Drake’s lawyer and back to us again as I squeezed my fingertips against my thigh, ‘’he threatened the people I loved, told me that he would harm them if I tried to leave him’’  
‘’On the night of the incident my client was arrested for, you had been seen with a number of different people, men in fact, including the man currently sat next to your lawyer. I have been informed by my clients own friends that you had been seen going in to the room of Mr. Lamberts drummer, tell me, for the time you were in that room, what happened’’   
‘’Your honor’’   
‘’Settle down, Mr. Jackson, I will ask you to take that question back, you have the information giving by the witness with what happened’’ The judge spoke out as he nodded.   
‘’No further questions your honor’’

Breathing out deeply, I glanced over my shoulder towards Brad and Sutan who was watching Tommy before I was turning back again as Tommy’s lawyer stood and made his way to Tommy, his voice quiet as he asked something which Tommy nodded too.   
Watching as a glass of water was poured and handed over to him, I could see that Tommy was shaking slightly and I had to do everything in me not to get up to go over and just hold him and tell him that he was safe.  
‘’Are you okay to go on Tommy’’ His lawyer asked as he nodded and placed the glass down. ‘’Okay, on the night of the incident, you had ran after getting a chance to gather your thoughts where Mr. Lambert found you on the back stairwell’’  
‘’Yes sir’’ Tommy said as he breathed out.   
‘’But later on that night, you returned to the room shared with the man sat across from you…why was that?’’   
Watching Tommy’s eyes grow wide at the question as he stared at his lawyer before he was looking towards me, the panic clear as I swallowed slightly and nodded for him to go on as his brown eyes turned back around again to face his lawyer.  
‘’I was scared’’ Tommy admitted, ‘’I woke to my friends sleeping and Drake’s words of harming the people I loved came back to me and I panicked, I thought if I went back to him that he wouldn’t harm them’’  
‘’So you over looked the safety of yourself to protect your friends from harm’’   
‘’Yes sir’’  
‘’And what happened when you got back to the shared room’’  
‘’He questioned me on where I had been, I lied and said I went for a walk after having panic attack, he pulled me in to the room and told me that he didn’t take kindly to liars. He pushed me and I stumbled in to a table before I was moving away as he got closer until I was backed against a wall’’ Speaking slowly, I could see the fear starting to creep up through Tommy’s body again as he swallowed and picked his glass of water up and swallowed another mouthful down.  
‘’What happened next Tommy’’ His lawyer asked softly.   
‘’He called me names like slut and stupid, he slapped me which knocked me to the ground before he hit me again and again and again.’’  
‘’Would you say that you were scared for your life’’ Watching as Tommy nodded, I breathed out and dug my fingers in deeper, ‘’please note my client answered the question with a nod. Now Tommy, after the attack started was there any other moments in which you were scared for more than just your life?’’   
‘’Yes’’ Tommy whispered, his eyes locked on the stand in front of him. ‘’I…I…there was, there was a point I blacked out’’ He whispered, eyes closing before he shook his head and opened his eyes again, his mouth opening and then closing.  
‘’You honor, I have no further questions and I would like it if we could take a break, my client is clearly in distress with having to remember his attack’’ His lawyer called out as the judge nodded.  
‘’The court will have a thirty minutes interval, we will gather back on the hour’’

Standing as the judge left and Tommy walked back over with his lawyer, I waited until we was in a side room before I was pulling him in to my arms where he clung on tightly.  
‘’Its okay baby, it’s all okay’’ I whispered as I pressed a kiss to his temple. ‘’you are doing so good Tommy, so good’’   
‘’Tommy, when we go back out, they are going to call on the evidence from the security guards which broke in to the room and for the tapes which was in the ambulance when you got taken in to the hospital, do you think you will be able to sit through it?’’ His lawyer asked as he slowly let go of me and sat down. Moving y hands over his shaking ones, I squeezed them softly.   
‘’Baby’’ I whispered as he shook his head slowly.   
‘’I can’t…I can’t do any more’’ He whispered as his lawyer nodded.   
‘’That’s okay Tommy, you’ve done good son’’ He smiled before squeezing Tommy’s shoulder lightly before he was heading back out again, the room falling silent between us as I turned my eyes back to Tommy.  
‘’Im going to have to be out there Tommy’’ I whispered to him softly, ‘’they might end up calling me to the stand’’ I whispered as large eyes turned to me.   
‘’But you’ll come straight back right…I wont be alone will I’’ He asked as I squeezed his hand again.   
‘’We can always have Brad or Sutan stay with you but I will be back baby, I’ll always come back for you’’ I told him as he nodded softly.

.o0o.

‘’And what did you find when you first broke in to the hotel room where the disturbance had been called in’’ Tommy’s lawyer asked he walked towards the guard who was now sat in the stand.   
‘’The first thing was the damage, tables and chairs had been over turned and there was a broken vase before we saw Mr. Jackson’s client pinning Mr. Ratliff down and hitting him’’ The guard told him and the jury as he nodded. ‘’we shouted for him to get back before action had to be taking and he was pulled away from the victim while another guard went to him and radioed in for an ambulance to be called, the police was already on their way from the disturbance as all cases. By the time the officers had Mr. Jackson’s client in handcuffs, the ambulance crew had turned up and was taking Mr. Ratliff down.’’  
‘’And during this time, where was Mr. Lambert’’  
‘’He was there every step sir, he was comforting his friend the best he could to keep him calm, the only moments he wasn’t was when Mr. Ratliff was being brought down in the elevator as there was not enough room, but Mr. Lambert was there waiting the moment he was wheeled out and continued to comfort his friend as the officers took the other man out.’’  
‘’And was anything said during this time?’’   
‘’Yes, Mr. Jackson’s client continued to throw abuse towards the victim, threaten his life and that of Mr. Lambert’’  
‘Thank you, no more questions your honor’’  
‘’Mr. Jackson’’  
‘’No questions your honor’’

Watching and listening as the evidence was brought forward slowly, I couldn’t help but look away when the officers who had come to the hospital to take Tommy’s statement was called to the stand, the photographs of his injuries being shown for the court and jury to see.  
‘’As you can see, there is a lot of bruises which was already there from before the attack that night’’ One of the officers told the court, ‘’the injuries marked with yellow are the old and red are the ones from that night.’’  
‘’And is it true that it was Mr. Lambert who signed the statement for Mr. Ratliff’’ Mr. Jackson asked as she nodded.   
‘’Yes sir it is, in these cases we are allowed to take the signature of a friend or family member who was present in the room at the time if the victim is no responsive enough to do it themselves.’’  
‘’Responsive enough, can you please describe what that means’’  
‘’It means that the memories of attacks can be brought back to a abuse victim when they have to talk about what happened and have the injuries documented, it can cause stress and panic attacks along with a number of different reactions, Mr. Ratliff is just one of many cases where a friend has had to sign as the victim has been too shaken up to do it themselves.’’

.o0o.

Sitting through another two hours of evidence and witness statements, the court was finally adjourned until the jury was due back. Leaving the court room, I headed back through the hallways until I reached the room Tommy had stayed in and headed inside to see Sutan look up towards me, his finger raising to his lips as I turned and looked towards the couch to see Tommy laid out and asleep.  
‘’How long has he been like that?’’ I asked quietly as Sutan glanced towards the clock.   
‘’About an hour, how’s things going in there?’’ He asked as I sighed and walked over to Tommy.   
‘’The jury has gone to deliberate now, so we are just waiting for them now’’ I told him as he nodded, sitting down beside the couch, I reached up and softly ran my fingers through Tommy’s hair before he was stirring, his eyes blinking open slowly.   
‘’you’re back’’ He whispered as I smiled and nodded.   
‘’I said I would come back baby’’ I whispered to him as his hand moved to mine, his fingers sliding through mine before he was sitting up slightly, his free hand rubbing at his face as I moved and sat beside him.  
‘’Is it over?’’ Tommy asked as I ran my thumb across his knuckles.   
‘’Nearly Tommy, just got to wait for the jury now, but I doubt it will take them long with all the evidence which was put forward’’ I whispered as he nodded and leaned in to me.


	16. The verdict

Hearing a knock on the door, I glanced towards Sutan who had turned to stare at me before we were both turning back as the door opened and Tommy’s lawyer walked in, his eyes moving around before they were settling on me and Tommy.  
‘’The jury is back’’ He told us as I nodded. ‘’I’m afraid you have to be in the court room for this Tommy’’ He told him as Tommy moved beside me and I glanced down as he nodded.   
‘’I will okay’’ He spoke out quietly as his lawyer nodded and stepped back out the room again. ‘’come on, let’s go get this finished, I just want to go home’’ Tommy told me as I smiled softly and nodded, part of my chest swelling at how he called my place home.

Heading out with both Sutan and Tommy, I kept my hand against Tommy’s lower back as we slowly made our way back towards the court room where I had left only twenty minutes ago, I was just hoping that everything which had been shown and spoken would be enough to put him away for what he had done to Tommy and to stop him from doing it to anyone else ever again.  
Standing for the judge to enter again, we waited for him to tell us to be seated before he was turning towards the jury.   
‘’Have you come to a decision?’’ The judge asked before I glanced towards the woman who was still stood on the jury bench.   
‘’We have your honor’’ She told him as the judge nodded and made a motion for her to go on with his hand, ‘’myself and the others have come to the vote, we find the defendant, Guilty’’ Hearing the words, I could feel happiness run through me before I glanced over at Tommy to find him staring at the jury.  
‘’Very well, I sentence you in the name of domestic abuse and that of pre meditated harm of Mr. Ratliff and his friends, you will serve a minimum of five years, please take him away’’

Feeling Tommy’s hand slide in to mine, I squeezed it tightly before I was running my thumb over his skin as the judge finished talking and dismissed the court. Heading out of the court room with everyone, I glanced over at Tommy to see that he was still looking a little far away before a hand on my arm pulled me away and I turned to look at Sutan.  
‘’We’re going to head home, leave you boys alone for a while’’ He whispered softly as I nodded.   
‘’Thank you for being here today Sutan…and you Brad’’  
‘’well of course we would be here for you both’ Bra grinned before he was moving around me and pulling Tommy in to a hug.   
‘’He’s right honey, we would’ve been here no matter what’’ Sutan smiled as I nodded and hugged him slightly before he was moving and pulling Brad of Tommy and giving him his own hug. Saying goodbye to everyone, I tugged on Tommy’s hand softly before he was turning to look at me, his brown eyes meeting mine as I smiled softly.  
‘’Let’s go home’’ I whispered as Tommy nodded softly.   
‘’Yeah’’ He whispered back as his hand tightened in mine softly.

.o0o.

Getting home, I handed the keys over to Tommy as we climbed out the car and watched as he started on towards the house as I locked the car up again and moved towards him again. I was glad that Drake was now locked away and that Tommy could start getting his life on track even more now, I knew that he wanted to get back in touch with his parents again and old friends he had pushed away over the years of being with Drake and I knew that I was to be there every step of the way to try and help him out like had been.  Stepping in behind him, I shut the door and glanced over to see him heading upstairs, sighing softly, I locked up and started towards the kitchen as I pulled my tie undone and let it hang freely around my neck.  
Heading towards the freezer, I pulled the door open and glanced through for the ice cream which was left over before I was pulling it open and knocking the door closed again as I grabbed the whiskey off the side and some spoons from the drawers before I was heading upstairs myself.

Finding Tommy in the spare bedroom which he was using, I couldn’t help but lean against the doorframe as I watched him pull his shoes off slowly, his body sat on the end of the bed before he was glancing up towards me with a small smile.   
‘’How are you feeling’’ I asked softly as he shrugged.   
‘’Better I guess’’ Tommy told me as I nodded, ‘’thank you for today, for being there I mean’’ Smiling softly, I shook my head as I looked at him properly.   
‘’I promised that I would be there for you always Tommy, any time you need me im going to be here for you’’ I smiled towards him as he smiled lightly and nodded.   
‘’Im going to go for a shower’’ Tommy said quietly as I nodded softly, watching him stand and walk towards the bathroom, I let a soft sigh out as the door closed before I was pushing away and walked across the hall and in to my own room where I put the ice cream and whiskey down on my bedside unit before I was moving around and changing out of my own suit and in to a pair of comfort sweatpants and a tank top.   
Pushing a movie in and climbing up on to the bed, I pressed play before tugging the ice cream on to my thigh with one of the spoons as I started to watch the film. Hearing Tommy’s footsteps, I glanced towards the doorway and away again as I dropped my spoon down and turned to push the tub back on the side unit before I was picking the whiskey bottle up and sitting back again, glancing back to the doorway, I let my eyes run over Tommy’s form as I turned back to look at the TV again before I was flicking my eyes back to him again as I realized how he was stood there in just his boxers, his eyes looking towards me before he was walking further in to my room before he was sliding in under the covers of my bed beside me, his long fingers taking the bottle from me to drink himself.  
‘’Are you okay?’’ I asked quietly as Tommy nodded, his eyes on my TV before he was handing the bottle back, taking it from him, I looked back up to his face again to catch his eyes before he was blushing and looking away again.

A couple of films down, I could feel myself growing tired before I was climbing off my bed and walking around to grab the rest of the ice cream as Tommy glanced over at me tiredly before back to the TV again as I headed out of the room and down towards the kitchen.

.o0o.

Listening to Adam head down the stairs, I let a heavy breath out before I was curling down deeper in to his covers, I knew that I lied to him when he asked if I was okay because I knew I wasn’t, I knew that Drake was locked away now and that he couldn’t hurt me or anyone else, but it still scared me seeing him again and having to go through everything, I felt scared for Adam. Swallowing deeply, I shifted closer to the middle of the bed before I was glancing towards the doorway as his footsteps echoed out. Closing my eyes, I let myself settle down in to his bed before the sound of hid feet pausing had my heart beating a little faster before Adam was moving again, the sound of the movie we had been watching in silence being turned off before the TV was following and his footsteps moved back to the bed again.

Feeling the bed move carefully as Adam climbed in, I could feel my heart race again as he turned the lights off, flooding the room in darkness before he was moving to lay down more, I still didn’t know why I didn’t put any other clothes on after I had dried from my shower, neither could I get the small look of worry out of my mind from when I told Adam that I was going to shower. Listening to the silence between us, I  let small breathes out before I felt Adam move again before the soft touch of his fingertips against my cheek had me biting the inside of my lip as he breathed out deeply.  
His touch was warm as his fingers stroked over my cheek before they were moving down along my jaw and on to my neck where his hand settled for a few stilled moment’s, I knew that I wasn’t afraid of his touch and that he was only looking after me but I knew that the crush I had on him every since high school was still there, that he was the only person I trusted the most despite living with Sutan for a while. Feeling his hand slowly move along my bare shoulder, I fought against the shiver which ran through my body before he was trailing his fingertips down over my arm before he was following it down and then up to where I was resting my hand against the pillow beside my head, the only barrier I had between the pillow I was using and Adam’s own.   
‘’Goodnight Tommy’’ Adam’s voice was barely a whisper as I felt him shift slightly before the warmth of a kiss against my cheek had me breathing out slightly, the sound causing Adam to move away quickly where he stilled in silence as I let my breathing even out again as if I was asleep before Adam’s side of the bed was moving again as he laid down fully, his hand covering mine warmly again.

Blinking my eyes open slowly, I could see faint light filling in to the room before I was shifting and glancing over my shoulder to see the bed behind me empty, the covers pushed back before I was turning over and reaching out to find the sheets warm slightly. Pushing myself up on to an elbow as I rubbed at my eyes, I let a yawn out before footsteps caught my attention, turning, I glanced up to see Adam stumbling back in to his room again from another door which I was guessing was his own bathroom.  
‘’Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you’’ He whispered out as he climbed back in to bed again, the covers shifting over us both as he settled again and turned towards me as I laid back down.  
‘’Didn’t’’ I told him tiredly before I was turning over and settled down again, my arms pulling the pillow down slightly to wrap my arms around before Adam was shifting behind me, feeling a warm hand touch against my side, I let a small breath out and let my eyes close again as Adam moved closer and his arm slipped around me fully, his chest touching against my back as I let myself relax slightly, knowing that I was safe with Adam.   
‘’This is alright isn’t it?’’ Adam whispered, his warm breathing fanning out against my skin as I nodded and leaned in to his body as he curled his around mine more. ‘’goodnight baby’’ Adam whispered before he pressed a soft kiss to the back of my neck.   
‘’Night Adam’’ I whispered back to him as I settled down again, the warmth of Adam’s body around mine helping me as sleep started to take over again.


	17. Moving on....or so they think

Blinking my eyes open with a sigh, I turned over and reached for the TV controller before I was dropping back down on to the couch again as I started to flip through the stations, to say I wasn’t bored would’ve been a lie as I stretched out again and let my other arm drape over the arm of the couch I was on, I knew Adam was due home some from the little tour he went on but I still didn’t know exactly when that would be as I glanced over at my phone and wondered about calling either Brad or Sutan for some company before I decided against it and settled back in to flip through the channels with a yawn.

Hearing the sound of a door closing, I felt myself jump as I woke up and ran a hand down my face with a sigh before footsteps leading through the hall had me turning just as Adam walked in, his bag in his hand again, smiling stupidly to myself, I bit my lip slightly as I watched him run his fingers through his hair and drop his bag down as he started to pull his keys and phone out his pocket and place it on the table.  
‘’Welcome home’’ I called out which had him jumping and turning, a smile on his own lips before his eyes was falling to my bare chest and up again as I pushed myself up and walked over towards him, taking his bag from him as we moved in to the kitchen, I couldn’t help but smile lightly as I thought about how much I had missed him. ‘’how was the tour?’’ I asked with a quick glance over towards him, his face had a tiredness over it which I didn’t like but I knew was there because of the lack of sleep as he returned my smile again.  
‘’Amazing baby, just amazing’’ Adam laughed as he started to move around the kitchen, two glasses in his hands, leaning against the table as he started to tell me all about it, I couldn’t help but laugh along with things before I was pushing away and walking over to him as he put his drink down. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I hugged in to him tightly, his own arms moving back around me without question as I hid my smile against his shoulder, before he had gone away for the tour, I knew that we had grown a little closer and that I slept in Adam’s bed instead of the spare room a lot and hugged each other a lot more.  
‘’I’m glad you enjoyed it’’ I told him as he chuckled tiredly and rubbed his hands over my back.  
‘’Me too, but I’m going grab a shower and maybe a nap, I’m still a little tired from flying’’ Adam told me as I pulled away with a smile before I was moving in behind him and pushing him towards the stairs as he laughed.

Listening to his footsteps head up the stairs before disappearing, I turned back and headed towards Adam’s bag again and started to unpack all his clothes, separating the clean from the rest,  I pushed all his dirty clothes in to the washer and headed upstairs and in to my own room to grab my own washing, taking it all down and putting it on,  I done a quick tidy of the downstairs before I was pushing our drinks in to the fridge and heading back upstairs again to hear that the shower wasn’t on any more before I peered in to Adam’s room to find him stretched out on his bed in just a pair of boxers, his hair damp a little still from where it stuck to his skin.  
Shakings my head slightly as I walked over quietly, I grabbed the edge of the comforter and pulled it up from the bottom of the bed and over him to keep him warm before I sighed softly, I was glad for him to be home. Turning away, I got two steps out before I was letting a small yelp of surprise out as an arm came around my waist and pulled me down on to the bed as my heart crashed against my chest from the quick movement of it all, I had thought Adam had been asleep when I came in. glancing up at him, I couldn’t help but softly smile as I took in the sleepy smile on his face before it was burying in to the crook of my shoulder, his breath warm against my skin as he tugged the comforter over my body too.  
‘’Missed you’’ Adam murmured out, ‘’didn’t feel right falling asleep without you in my arms’’   
‘’Missed you too Adam’’ I whispered back to him truthfully as his arms moved around my waist tighter and I let myself curl in to the warmth of his body which I had wanted to feel for a while again, sighing softly, I brought my arm up and curled it around Adam’s own as I let myself relax fully and slowly fall asleep again.

.o0o.

Waken slowly, I let a breath out before Tommy’s movement caught my attention and I slowly looked over to where he had moved at some point to see a look of pain caught across is face, confused for a moment I tried to think back to when I had come home but I couldn’t remember any marks on his body or any pain in his movements. Panicking slightly, I watched Tommy again before I noticed his movements were almost like he was trying to protect himself and I quickly realized that he must have been having a bad dream as I pushed across to him and wrapped my arms around him tightly.  
‘’It’s okay baby’’ I whispered in to his ear, ‘’Tommy wake up, come on baby, it’s just a dream, wake up’’ I told him softly as he thrashed against me slightly. ‘’Wake up Tommy, it’s just a bad dream baby, it’s okay you’re safe’’ I spoke out again as his eyes quickly flashed open, his breath heavy before he was glancing around, his eyes settling on me as I smiled softly. ‘’it was just a dream, it’s okay’’ I whispered to him as he turned in to my chest, holding him tightly, I pressed a kiss to his temple softly. ‘’it’s okay baby’’ I whispered to him as I felt him shaking a little, ‘’it was just a dream, dreams can’t hurt you and I’m here’’ I soothed out in a soft whisper until I felt him start to calm down a little, his body not shaking any more as I ran my hand over his spine softly, skin soft under my palm. ‘’what was it about?’’ I asked quietly.  
‘’Him’’ Hearing Tommy’s whisper, I breathed out and let my eyes close as I tightened my arms around him a little more.  
‘’He’s gone baby, he cant touch you ever again’’ I whispered in to his ear as Tommy’s own arm wrapped around my waist tightly.  
‘’I hate how he can affect me still’’ Tommy whispered out to me.   
‘’I know baby, I know, but I’m home now, you can forget all about him’’ I told him as Tommy slowly moved away from me a little and I shifted to look at him, bringing my hand up, I let it rest against his jaw softly as I traced my thumb over his cheek as brown eyes turned to look at me.  ‘’don’t hide things from me Tommy, I’m here to help you no matter what it may be’’ I whispered as he nodded softly.   
‘’I know’’ He smiled at me.

Pulling him closer to me again, I softly pressed my lips to his temple in a light kiss before I was pulling away again and burying my face back in to his neck, I knew that I hadn’t lied before hand when I told him that I had missed falling asleep with him in my arms because I did, my bed always felt so empty when Tommy wasn’t in it and I always wanted t o sneak in to his room and crawl in to bed with him but I knew that would be invading his privacy if I did.  
Listening to Tommy’s breathing as it slowly evened out again, I could feel myself wanting to stay awake and make sure that he didn’t have another bad dream about him ever again but I knew that it wouldn’t be that easy after everything which had happened to him. Stroking my fingers over his back slowly, I started to think about all the times in school that I used to spend time watching Tommy just hoping that he would notice me or at least pretend to know me apart from the few hellos we would share, thinking back to the one class we would share, I could remember the way Tommy would lean over his desk, a hand buried deep in his hair as he listened to the teacher go on before his eyes would drop down to his book he had open but I knew that he always had another notebook opened on top of it and that he would take the time to draw or write things down, what, I never knew really as I pressed another soft kiss to Tommy’s temple and let my eyes close as I tried to forget about all the missed opportunities in the past, we had gone past all that and left each other’s lives but now we were back in them again which all that mattered as I let myself start to slowly fall asleep again, my body wrapped around Tommy’s and our legs tangled.

.o0o.

Turning over, I let my hand slide across the bed before my eyes were opening slowly as I felt cold sheets, seeing that the bed was empty apart from myself, I frowned softly as I tried to figure out where Adam might be. Pushing the comforter away, I swung my legs around and climbed out of bed slowly before I was heading out of the room and towards the stairs slowly where I could hear quiet voices coming from downstairs, slowing at the top, I sat down quietly and bit my lip a little as I listened to Adam’s voice.  
‘’What do you mean gone?’’ He half yelled out from what I guessed was the lounge before there was a sound of someone standing and walking around, probably Adam pacing I thought to myself.  
‘’Just as it sounds Mr. Lambert’’ Another voice told him which Tommy quickly realized was his lawyer from the trial. ‘’he was being transferred to another facility and the vehicle he was travelling in was involved in a collision and he escaped along with a few other inmates.’’ Freezing slightly, I felt my heart start to crash against my chest as Adam laughed.  
‘’Escaped…Drake should’ve been cuffed, what the hell happened’’ Ada asked before their voices muffled slightly, ‘’no…Tommy’s still asleep, I don’t want him to know’’ Adam breathed out as I bit my lip, ‘’he’s only just gotten strong enough to be home alone, I’m not telling him that’’  
‘’Mr. Lambert, I know you are trying to protect your friend but he has a right to know’’ The lawyer told Adam as I hugged my knees to my chest.  
‘’No…you aren’t the one who has woken up to him having nightmares, you haven’t been the one to hold him when he’s heard something outside at night and you aren’t the one there to comfort him when he’s afraid, I have, and I don’t want to see Tommy like that again’’

Pushing myself up, I quietly moved back towards Adam’s room again and sat on the end of the bed as I struggled for breath, clutching at the fabric on my thighs, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to think of good things before I forced myself to think about Adam and everything he’s done for me and back in high school when I used to watch him when he wasn’t looking.  
I thought about the way I would lean over my desk in English, only half listening to the teacher before I would find myself staring at Adam as it was the only class we had together, I remember writing lyrics to songs in to my note book, most of them about Adam or just write things I wanted to say to him before I would look away again so I wouldn’t get caught staring. Taking a deep breath, I let myself think back to the first time I saw him in a long time again in the airport when he came back from New York, the way he was standing off to the side with Brad talking, I thought about the way his fingers moved over the rings on them, twisting and pulling them on and off almost like he didn’t realize before my thoughts turned back to the ride back to Sutan’s the way he seemed to fold in to himself slightly in the van after he got a text and Brad teased him, I had just wanted to comfort him.

Feeling my heart return to normal again, I looked towards the door way as I heard the front door open and then close again a few moments later, expecting Adam to come back up again, I let myself sit there for a while before I was standing again and moving towards one of his drawers where I pulled a dark top out and pulled it on over my head.   
Heading downstairs slowly, I rubbed at my eyes again as I yawned and stepped in to the kitchen to see Adam sat at the island, his laptop open in front of him as he stared at it with a frown. Watching as he typed a few things out, his eyes moving over the screen, I shook my head softly and headed further in to the kitchen where I checked on the washing quickly to see that it had finished, deciding to sort it out a little later, I turned and slowly walked towards Adam before I wrapped my arms around his stomach and chest as I rested my head on his shoulder and peered down at his laptop to see different tabs open, each one with different destinations and travel agents.  
‘’Thinking of going on holiday, are you?’’ I asked him softly as one of his hands came up to cover one of mine.  
‘’Mhm’’ Adam murmured before he turned his head slightly and pressed his lips against my cheek, ‘’thinking of us getting away for a bit’’ He told me softly as I moved my eyes from the laptop to look at him.  
‘’Us’’ I asked.  
‘’Yeah, just me and you for a few weeks, get away from everything which has been going on here for a while and just relax and not have to worry about anything’’ Adam whispered with a smile, I knew it was because of that and also because of what I over heard, but I couldn’t bring myself to let him know I heard as I nodded and returned his soft smile.  
‘’Where were you thinking off taking us?’’ I asked as I stepped closer so my chest was pressed to his back, my arms around him more tighter as I looked back at the laptop.  
‘’Well I had a few picked out’’ Adam told me as his thumb stroked over my hand softly. ‘’first was London but then I thought no as I just came back from there and the weather is cold a little. So my second choice was Hawaii, I know you have family over there or something, or there is Cabo and Mexico…also depends on when you would want to go’’ He told me as I nodded slightly.

Moving my hand away from his stomach, I reached up to the laptop and looked through the tabs before I was clicking on another one, my eyes running over it before I smiled softly and clicked on an link which brought it to another page on the travel agents site.  
‘’How about Paris?’’ I asked quietly, ‘’just get out of America and anywhere close for a while’’ I asked as I turned slightly to look at him, the idea clearly running through his mind before he nodded with a smile.  
‘’Then Paris it is’’ He smiled as he turned slightly and slipped his arm around my waist to pull me closer to his side as I looked through the fights they had.   
‘’Oh wow’’ I mumbled to myself as Adam hummed, his fingertips sliding under his top I borrowed to rub against skin, ‘’okay, there’s flights for the next few days or there’s a flight later on tonight’’ I told him.   
‘’Like I said baby, we can go whenever you want’’ Adam whispered to me as I nodded.  
‘’I guess we should start packing then, maybe call Sutan and your mom to let them know that we are leaving tonight’’ I told him as I turned to see him staring at me.   
‘’What time’s the flight?’’ He asked as I turned back and checked.  
‘’11:30 tonight’’ I told him before glancing down to see that it was only just gone one in the afternoon. Pulling away from him softly, I headed back over to the washer and started to pull the clothes out before I was pushing them in to the dryer and started it up. ‘’so book the flights’’ I told him as I looked up and smiled towards him, ‘’you ring those who need to know while I go shower and then start on packing’’ Watching as he nodded and turned back to the laptop, I could see the tension which was in his shoulders leave before I turned and headed back upstairs, I knew it was because I picked the flight for tonight and that he was probably glad that I wanted to get out of America and away from any harm.  Smiling to myself as I slipped in to my room and moved towards the bathroom, I couldn’t help but wonder what might happen between us once we were on our own and in another country. 


	18. Paris

‘’Don’t laugh’’ I muttered out to Adam as his lips pulled up in to a grin across from me, looking back down at the menu again, I let my eyes fall over all the words before I felt the same frown start to appear.  
‘’Would you like some help baby?’’ Adam asked as I pushed the menu down again and stared at him.  
‘’Couldn’t you of found a place to eat which had menus in English too?’’ I asked before I was moving around the booth slightly to sit beside him, ‘’of course I would like some help, I can’t speak a word of French Adam’’ I told him as he laughed softly.  
‘’Sorry’’ He beamed as I rolled my eyes slightly and settled in beside him and looked down at his menu as he started to tell me what some of the things were.

‘’You know, since we’ve been here, some parts have felt like home’’ I laughed out softly as I turned back from the window to find Adam looking at me with interest.  
‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked as I smiled.  
‘’Well wherever you go, there’s someone auguring on the street over something, it’s nice’’ I smiled which had him returning it with a soft one of his own before he was turning to look at the waitress as she appeared. Leaning in to Adam’s arm a little as he double checked mine, I pointed to the one I wanted before he was repeating it to the girl.  
‘’You seem like a really cute couple’’ The waitress told us suddenly before I was looking up at her retreating form before we could tell her that we weren’t together, feeling the blush start to appearing on my cheeks, I glanced up at Adam who chuckled softly and turned to look at me slightly.  
‘’Should’ve said we were on our honeymoon, got discount on the hotel and room’’ He teased which had me staring at him before I felt myself laughing and shaking my head slightly.  
‘’You’re an idiot’’ I told him as he shrugged. ‘’you have the money for it all’’  
‘’I know, but she’s the second person to say it, I was just saying we should play it up more’’ Adam grinned as I moved back around the booth to sit across from him, picking a bread stick up from the basket in the middle, I took a bite of it before I was snapping a little bit of and threw it him which earned a surprised look in return as I shrugged.   
‘’Don’t couples normally throw things at each other?’’ I asked as he laughed.   
‘’Now’s who the idiot’’ He teased.

.o0o.

With lunch finished, I followed Adam out of the café before we were falling in to step beside each other and walking in silence which I didn’t mind, the sounds of Paris filling the space around us made me feel safe knowing that we were a world away from America and everything to do with Drake. Glancing over at Adam, I watched as his bright eyes looked around the street before I was turning back again, after everything which had happened, it still warmed me knowing that Adam had kept his promise of not letting anyone else hurt me or leaving my side, he had also known when he back away from me and leave me alone and when to pull me in to a hug and just comfort me like he often did after my dreams turned in to nightmares of the memories.  
Heading towards the Eiffel tower, I let my eyes travel up it before I was pausing long enough for Adam to ask if I was okay.  
‘’Yeah, just…I want to go up there, I want to see Paris from above’’ I told him as I dropped my eyes back down to look at him, a warm smile on his lips as he nodded. Taking his out stretched hand, I bit the inside of my lip as I thought of how well our fingers fitted together and about how much I liked being wrapped up in Adam’s touch.   
Letting Adam guide the way with his knowledge of French, I quickly realized how much I knew I had should’ve paid attention to back in school when we had the lessons.  
‘’Stairs or elevator up?’’  Adam asked.  
‘’Elevator dumbass’’ I grinned as he stuck his tongue out at me, ‘’and you call me childish with things?’’ I asked as he laughed and tugged me towards the elevator before pressing the button.  
‘’What, some people take the stairs up’’ Adam told me as we waited.  
‘’Rather not be tired and get to the top and not really take notice of the view’’ I told him as he smiled towards me , our hands still together before the doors were opening, letting his hand go, I stepped inside and turned to watch Adam walk in, his eyes glancing at me with a soft smile before he was standing beside me as other people got on.

Leaning my head against Adam’s shoulder on the ride up, I couldn’t help but listen to the two girls who were stood in front of us, their whispers soft before I was standing again and pulling my phone out of my pocket to see that I still had a lot of battery left and that I had no signal at the moment.  
‘’What do you want to do after this?’’ Adam asked as I turned to look at him.  
‘’To be honest, I don’t know, I’m a little tired from all the walking’’ I told him as he chuckled softly.  
‘’Because you are used to home Tommy, Los Angeles was made for driving’’  
‘’Hey’’ I laughed as I nudged him playfully and grinned as he moved his arm around my shoulder, settling back in against his side, I pushed my phone back in to my pocket again before I was glancing up to see the girls turning back around quickly, their voices hushed and quick with the words I didn’t understand before there was giggles and I was rolling my eyes slightly.  
Stepping out the elevator moments later once it reached the top, I let the  cool air wash over me before I was moving towards one of the viewing platforms near the edge and looked out over Paris, the sight taken my breath slightly.  
‘’I’m going to go get one of the booklets from over there’’ Adam told me as I glanced over to where he pointed and nodded softly.  
‘’Alright’’ I smiled before I was turning back again and just stared at the view, I still couldn’t believe that me and Adam was in Paris together, that we had just left on a whim and without any real thought to anything going on around us at the time, leaning against the railing, I let my eyes just everything in knowing that this could be the only time I got to see this before the feeling of arms sliding around my waist had me standing up a little more and leaning back in to him as his head rested against my shoulder.

Glancing around at Adamm a little while later, I smiled at him softly before his eyes were dropping down to me and returning it.  
‘’Thank you’’ I whispered to him before a small frown of confusion appeared over his face.  
‘’What for?’’ He asked softly.   
‘’For everything you have done, for bringing me here, for trying to protect me by not telling me about Drake, I overheard you and the lawyer talking the other day, I woke up and went to come downstairs but heard your voices about Drake escaping during the crash’’ I told him quietly as I turned back around to look at the view, I knew that Adam was probably still trying to come to terms with what I had just told him, but I knew that he would okay with it somehow.  
‘’Do you think I was doing more damage by trying to keep the truth from you than telling you?’’ Adam asked quietly. Turning in his arms slowly, I smiled up at him softly as I shook my head.   
‘’I think you were doing what your heart and mind thought right’’ I whispered as he stared. ‘’and I’m glad you never told me and it warmed me inside knowing that you were trying to protect me from the truth by bringing me on holiday’’ I smiled, ‘’and I admit that I chose Paris because it’s far away from America and Drake and that we are alone here’’  
Watching’s Adam’s smile softly as he leaned down to rest his forehead against mine, I let my eyes stare back in to his as his hands smoothed out over my sides softly.   
‘’Truthfully’’ He whispered, ‘’I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now with anyone else but you’’ Feeling myself blush softly at his words, I dropped my eyes slightly before looking back up again as I lightly bit at my lower lip which had Adam’s eyes dropping down before they were lifting again as I let it go, bringing my hands up over the front of Adam’s jacket as his eyes met mine again, letting gazes lock for a moment, I could feel my heart beating against my chest as I shifted a little, my thoughts leaving my mind as all the sounds around us slowly disappeared, letting my fingers curl around the folds of his jacket, I let a soft breath out before I found myself tilting my head up, eyes lidded as I let myself brush a light kiss across his lips.

.o0o.

Feeling the touch of Tommy’s lips against mine, even for the briefest of moments, shocked me to the core as my hands moved on to his waist softly, ready to pull him closer when the flash went off and had me turning to see a man stood there, his eyes large behind his camera before I recognized him from the groups of paparazzi who had often stalked me from places, for a brief moment, I wondered how the fuck he had found us both before I was turning back to stare at Tommy a I moved my hand from his waist and grabbed his, my fingers sliding through his as I pulled away.   
Running with him as we moved, I slipped in through the elevator door and pulled Tommy closer as we both broke out in to laughter as the door’s closed and Tommy leaned back against the wall, his cheeks flushed from the cold and running as his eyes turned to look towards me, a soft smile appearing over his lips as I turned and brought my hand up to his jaw, my thumb brushing over his cheek before I was leaning down and brushing my lips tenderly at first before Tommy’s body was stepping closer and I let myself kiss him a little more warmly until he was pulling away.  
Letting him go, I stared down at Tommy’s face to see the red flush over his cheeks, my heart crashing against my chest as I felt my own cheeks warm as he smiled shyly at me and moved closer again, his arms wrapping around my waist and his head against my chest as I wrapped my arms back around him tightly at the same time as I pressed a kiss to the top of his head.   
‘’I don’t want to say it’’ I whispered, ‘’but I know that that photo of us is going to be hitting the internet quickly with these cameras which can upload’’ I whispered close to Tommy’s ear. Feeling him shrug, I glanced down at him as he moved and tilted hi head up to look at me.   
‘’I don’t mind’’ He told me as I stared at him in surprise.   
‘’But what about all the press and the back lash of us running away to Paris when we get back…are…are you sure you could handle that?’’ I asked with worry as I thought back to everything over the trial and around it as Tommy smiled up at me gently.   
‘’All of that are parts of your life Adam’’ Tommy told me quietly, his hand moving to rest under my top and against my skin. ‘’and if I’m going to be part of your life, if you want me in it…then…I’m going to have to get used to that, to the cameras and people asking questions’’ He told me, his brown eyes sparkling softly in the light of the elevator as his thumb stroked over my skin.

Smiling softly at Tommy, I couldn’t help but pull him in to a hug, my face buried in to the side of his neck as I pressed a light kiss to his warm skin, I still couldn’t believe that Tommy wanted to be in my life despite everything which had happened and everything which my life included, but at the same time, I knew that things weren’t always going to be easy and that our relationship would be slow but I was willing to wait for him even if it took years because it took years to have Tommy back in my life again and even longer to have him feel the same way.  
‘’I have to admit something’’ I whispered against his skin, Tommy’s soft hum making me smile again as I pulled away slightly.   
‘’And what’s that?’’ He asked, warm eyes lifting to meet mine again as I smiled.   
‘’I’ve always had a crush on you know’’ I admitted to him finally, ‘’ever since high school and I used to always sit and watch you in English class or in the hallways if I saw you and I have always regretted never telling you or saying something’’ Looking up as the doors of the elevator opened, I grabbed Tommy’s hand again as we turned and started to head out, a grin on his lips as we stepped back out in to the sunshine and started to head back towards the hotel to wait for the phone calls I knew we would start to receive soon.  
‘’You know something’’ Tommy started as I looked at him, ‘’I’ve had a crush on you since I was sixteen and never got over it but I’m glad I didn’t because you’re part of my story just like the scars and bruises I’ve had on my body over the years, but they fade and yet you are still here with me, beside me and you haven’t left, you kept your promise of staying by my side since you found me on the stairs of the hotel and no one has ever done that before’’ Tommy told me quietly so his voice only carried between us as we walked the streets of Paris. ‘’you’ve always made me feel safe, even when we hardly knew each other and then the moment I saw you at the reunion, I just wanted to run and hide in your arms because I knew you would see through the bullshit and I hate that I hurt you’’

Pausing in speech as we reached the hotel, I pulled the door open for him and followed through before we were moving towards the stairs with a unspoken connection, ‘’I was glad that it was you who found me you know, I don’t know what would’ve happened if it had been someone else’’  
‘’I’m just glad I had decided to take the stairs and call it an early night’’ I whispered back to him as I moved my arm over his shoulders, his arm around my was it. ‘’I heard the first sob and I almost turned and headed back to the elevators but there was something stopping me like a bad feeling’’ I admitted as we walked, ‘’I just had this feeling like I needed to go’’  
‘’Yeah,’’ Glancing down at Tommy, I couldn’t help but return his smile as I hugged him closer to me again and opened the door to our floor. ‘’when we got to Isaac’s room, I didn’t want to sleep because I was afraid that if I did and then woke up, that I wouldn’t be safe and that I wouldn’t be with you’’ Pulling the room key out and unlocked the door, I let Tommy step in through before I was turning and closing the door again.  
‘’I broke down after you fell asleep’’ I told him as I turned and shrugged my jacket off to find Tommy with his off already and sat on the end of the bed watching me, kicking my shoes off as I walked across, I layed out on the bed and held my arm out for Tommy which he quickly moved too and stretched out beside me, his chest against my side and head on my chest. ‘’I was angry at myself for not being home enough to see you hurting and I blamed myself for not doing something sooner’’ I whispered out as my hand soothed down his back and under his shirt to press against his lower back.  
‘’You shouldn’t blame yourself Adam’’ Tommy told me as he pushed up, face turning to look at me as I stared back, ‘’what Drake done isn’t your fault, it isn’t anyone fault but his’’ Tommy whispered as his hand came up to rest against my chest. ‘’I knew it was wrong deep down inside, I believed he would changed, that he would become the guy I fell in love with, he promised he would stop that he only done it because he loved me’’ Tommy explained. Letting myself listen to the side of the story Tommy had never spoken about before, I could feel myself holding Tommy closer, his legs curling around mine as he told me how he felt and how he believed in the things Drake had told him. Closing my eyes as I pressed my lips against his temple, I let a small breath out as Tommy turned and curled closer to me, my own body doing the same as I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

‘’But you saved me Adam’’ Tommy whispered, ‘’you saved me from hell and brought me back to life, you showed me that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore and I could never repay you for that, for the first time in nearly seven years, I’ve felt more alive than ever and it was all to do with you’’ Moving to rest my forehead against his, I let myself stare down in to Tommy’s eyes as he swallowed. ‘’there was one moment in the past few years after Drake hurt me, I was home alone and I found myself sitting in the kitchen with one of the knifes and I wanted to do it, I wanted to kill myself and get away from him but then I thought about you and your smile, I thought about the way you would laugh and how you would smile at me the times we would look at each other and I dropped the knife, I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t leave the world without talking to you or seeing your smile again’’  
‘’God baby’’ I whispered out as I felt Tommy’s hand come up, his thumb swipe under my eyes as I let a wet laugh out, ‘’I’m never going to leave you or let you feel alone so you feel like that again’’ Pressing my lips back to his again, I let my hands rest against the sides of his neck before I was pulling away again, my eyes closed as we shared the same air.  
‘’I never feel alone when I’m with you’’ Tommy’s whisper had my eyes opening to stare at him with a soft expression, ‘’you don’t make me feel worthless, you make me feel like I belong on this world’’


End file.
